Bane

Page 47

“Touch me again and I swear your husband will not have one tooth left in his mouth,” I growled, then threw the door to Darren’s office open.

He sat behind his desk, holding his head in his hands. He was shaking with violent sobs, and that threw me off. I’d never seen a man cry like this, even though I had seen men cry in general. Artem had cried watching Disney films, for God’s sake.

I squeezed the doorjamb, slanting my head to the side as I watched him like a photographer studying his subject to get a perfect angle. Like a sniper ready to shoot straight to the heart.

“We need to talk, and you better save me the whole lisp charade, because I don’t have time for this bullshit. It’s about Jesse.”

He shook his head then raised it, his eyes meeting mine. I’ve never seen more tears and snot on a human face. “I messed it up. It’s over, Bane.”

I had no idea what he was talking about, but if it was as bad as he looked, we had a problem.

“We need to fix this shit, man. We’ve both been assholes, but she wasn’t. So let’s come up with a—”

“Leave, Bane.” He cut me off mid-sentence.

“Not before we help her.”

“Jesse’s done. I’m done. We’re all done.”

What was he talking about, done? Had he mistaken humans for steaks? I also resented the hopeless narrative he’d given us. We weren’t done. Maybe he was. As for her and me? Jury was still out on that one.

“Do you know where she is?” He looked up, a sliver of hope passing in his eyes.

I gripped the molding above his door, my triceps flexing. “Somewhere safe.”

“Where?”

“I’m sorry. Were you not awake for the past forty-eight hours? Why would I tell you anything that is not go fuck yourself?” I chuckled bitterly. “Now, tell me what she knows so we can clean this shit up.”

The more I knew, the better I could prepare for my conversation with Jesse.

But Darren just shook his head again—his signature move—and sighed. “She knows everything about everything. Which means that it is over for me.”

There was a lot I didn’t understand, and Darren looked about as cooperative and conversational as a fucking dildo-shaped candle. I wanted to slam his head against his desk until he gave me all the answers I needed, but it was futile. Dude was not making sense.

“I’m going to make it right,” I said.

“It’s too late.” Some more headshaking. This asshole was about to break some boring Guinness record, and no one was here to give a shit. I darted down the stairs, back to the front gate and to my Harley, leaving Pam to run after me down the street in her little satin nightgown and yelling, “Whatever Jesse thinks she knows, tell her that I didn’t know anything about it.”

Whatever the hell that meant. As I said before—Jesse got all her wit and intelligence from Artem. This bitch had merely been a nine-month incubator. And when Jesse was born, she took away all of Pam’s beauty and brains. Was it a wonder that Snow White’s mother was such a devil?

I drove straight to Gail from there. I knew better than to try to convince my employee to let me in and see Jesse. Besides, I needed to start thinking about what was best for Jesse, and even I recognized that she didn’t need to see me right now. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t text her. So I did that, just to cover all my bases.

Bane

You have to believe me when I say I didn’t know about Artem. I had no idea.

I would never keep something like this from you, Jesse. Ever.

Bane

Yeah, I signed a contract. But that was before. Before us. Before you. Before everything. I thought I was helping both of us. Then I got to know you and SurfCity didn’t matter anymore.

Bane

You mattered. You MATTER. You’re the only thing that matters, Snowflake. I went to Darren with the intention of telling him the deal was off. He dropped the Artem bomb on me that same day.

Bane

I’ll be outside of Gail’s place if you want to talk.

No pressure, right?

I took a few power naps on Gail’s front stairs, then at six in the morning was awakened by Beck’s text messages and phone calls. Reluctantly, I dragged my ass back home to take a shower. I needed another shave, and I needed not to deal with anything that wasn’t Jesse-related. I shot Beck a quick text.

Bane

Can’t train today.

Beck

Fuckinghateyoubro.

I washed my hair and shaved, generally making sure I resembled a real human being, then hit the road back to Gail’s. I knew she had a shift, so that left Jesse alone. I rapped on the door as softly as humanly possible, and when she didn’t answer, decided the next best thing to do was to climb into the apartment through Gail’s window. Again—you should know better than to find the logic in that. I just had a bad hunch things were a little shittier than the usual my-boyfriend-is-a-shithead.

Don’t get me wrong—Jesse had every reason to be mad at me. Furious, even. But her reaction suggested something more was happening.

I padded toward Gail’s room in ground-eating strides and found Snowflake lying in bed, her arm flung over a pillow, staring blankly at the clock on the nightstand. I took a step deeper into the room, making myself known. She didn’t move.

“Hi,” I said.

She didn’t answer.

“I got you your check.”

Nothing.

“Look, I fucked up…”

“Leave.” Her voice was cold. I pressed my forehead against the wall, squeezing my eyes shut.

“Not before we talk.”

“That’s not for you to decide, Bane.” Bane. “You betrayed me. Not exactly a concept that’s foreign to me, but I’m getting real good at cutting my losses.”

I moved over to her, losing control, losing her. That was the worst part. Knowing that I was losing her, and that she had every right to kick me out of her life after what I’d done. I crouched down beside the bed so that we were looking at each other, only she was still staring at the clock. I flipped the motherfucker down and snapped my fingers.

Yup. Definitely losing my shit.

“Hey. Listen.” I tried to grab her wrist so she would look at me, and that was a big mistake. She jumped up and out of the bed and pushed me. I didn’t move an inch, but the second time she did it, I stood up and took a step back. She pounced on me, slapping me across the face.

Okay, I deserved that.

Jesse swiveled on her heel, stepped into her Keds, and grabbed her keys. She was wearing Gail’s clothes, a floaty black dress that poured down all the way to her ankles. She got up and headed for the door.

I chased her, realizing that it was the first time I’d ever chased after something. Anything.

My whole life, people had come to me.

For pot.

For money.

For sex.

For networking. Hey, being the only guy who was from the wrong side of the tracks in a town that had no tracks had its appeal.

It was the first time I was desperate not to lose someone, and she was slipping through my fingers like dust. I decided to keep my hands to myself and not touch her unless she ran straight into traffic, but that didn’t stop me from hunting her down. But as I was chasing her, it occurred to me that speaking would be a good idea at this point, too. But where would I start? The contract? Artem? Us? I didn’t know which part bothered her the most.

“Jesse, fuck, Jesse. Stop. Just stop for one second. This bullshit thing with Artem wasn’t my fault. He was my counselor for a while, and he used to come to our house to make sure my mom fed me and clothed me and didn’t use me as a human ashtray. They hit it off. I had nothing to do with it. We didn’t know that he was married or that he had a daughter or whatever…” I said whatever. Why did I say whatever? It sounded…bad. Wrong. I couldn’t take it back, and I hated that I didn’t know how to get through to her. Jesse turned around at the door, the keys dangling in her fist.

“Not married. My parents were never married. I’m not mad at you for that.”

Ten gallons of air hit my lungs at the same time. Okay. That narrowed it down to the deal with Darren. I could work with that. She got out of the apartment. I shadowed her movements, watching as she slammed the door and locked it.

“Darren tricked me. He doesn’t even have a fucking lisp, dude.”

“I know.” She pocketed the keys in her backpack, and I waited for her to say something more, but she didn’t. Instead of heading toward the main street, like I thought she would, she took a sharp turn into an alleyway. I hurried after her, running my fingers over my hair.

“Your stepfather knew I needed an investment. He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse,” I said, then realized how fucking bad that sounded. “Okay. Yeah. I could have, and should have, but having sex with you was never a part of the plan. He wanted us to be friends, and I never thought I’d break that promise, anyway.”

“Were we friends when I sucked your cock in your bed? When we had sex in your shower?” She chuckled darkly, pacing faster, giving me her back. The alleyway was long and narrow. It sliced two rows of stores, and was dark and full of huge-ass industrial garbage bins. It smelled like hell, and felt a lot like it, too.

“Listen, you need to stop and turn the fuck around, because I’m going to say it once and only once. I don’t repeat myself, Jesse, and won’t make an exception for you.”

I didn’t know where it came from. I just decided to mix shit up and try a different tactic. And whaddayaknow? It worked. Snowflake stopped and did as I asked. We were standing opposite to each other, panting hard.

Do this, motherfucker, or regret not doing it for the rest of your life.

I raised my hands to rub her arms before remembering that I’d lost that right about a day ago. I balled my fists beside my body instead.

“Look, I didn’t know it’d be this way. I didn’t know being this way was even a fucking possibility. This feeling shit? I’m new to it, Jesse. But I swear, at no point, before or after I knew you, did I ever mean you any harm. I love you, Jesse. I fell in love with your soul before I even knew who you were. With that Pushkin tattoo, and that defiant stare, and the way you carried yourself like a disobedient goddess who didn’t belong here with all the snotty mortals of the beach. Even as I stand here now, I continue falling, because you’re a part of the only fucking person who resembled a father figure to me, and also a part of the reason I quit doing the toxic shit that reminded me who I was made of. You’re all my good parts wrapped together in a satin bow, Snowflake, and I can’t lose you. Because if I lose you, I stay with all the bad parts. I stay alone.”

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