I leaned forward and the boat rocked under my shift in weight. She let out a squeak and grabbed the edge of her seat, effectively pinning her where she was. One way or another I was going to get through to her.
“I understand all too clearly the politics. Those in power make the rules and those rules change as it suits their wishes and whims. I know Father has made mistakes and worm shit choices. But you and I? We have to decide whose example we follow. And as far as I can see, you are still far too much your mother’s daughter and I hate it. I hate that you think you can’t get information without spreading your legs like a common whore. Has it never occurred to you to use your brain instead of your body?”
Her gray eyes narrowed. “You are blind, Lark. Blind. You assume you know me, but you don’t. It takes nothing to get a man to believe he will bed you. A soft touch. A whisper. That doesn’t mean you actually go through with it.”
I sat back, blinking. “You mean you tease them?”
“Unlike your mother, I am not a whore. And I certainly wouldn’t be sleeping with anyone within any of the other families. Can you imagine the horror?”
Of course not. I let out a bitter laugh at the thought. “Your mother would kill you herself if she thought you carried a half-breed child.”
Belladonna turned her face away from me to look across the water, an icy chill rolling off her. “Get rowing, Ender. I want to be in the Deep before the end of the day.”
A part of me wanted to grab and shake her. I was close to pushing her to look into a mirror she’d been avoiding. Her memory I’d seen was at the front of my brain and I saw so clearly the child she had been; the little girl who wanted so desperately to be loved.
I wanted to save her, as I hadn’t been able to save Bram. Yes, she was older now, but that didn’t mean Cassava wasn’t still using her. Hurting her with lies and manipulation only I could see.
She shifted so she could look at me. Raising an eyebrow, she waved at the oars. “Are we going? No, we aren’t. Do your job, Ender. Stop thinking you have the brains to be an ambassador.”
With what felt like a momentous effort, I kept my mouth shut. What did I think, that Belladonna and I were suddenly becoming best friends on this trip? Maybe a part of me had hoped.
Belladonna snapped her fingers. “Your only job is to keep me safe.”
I put my hands on the oars and drove them into the water. “That it is, Ambassador. That it is.”
CHAPTER 5
Night fell as I rowed, the sky deepening to a black, broken only by the stars. “No moon tonight,” I said as I took a break, massaging my arms and hands. Hours of rowing and still no welcome into the Deep other than the note left on the boat for us.
“Does that matter?”
I rolled my shoulders and stretched my arms over my head to ease the ache in my muscles through my back. “Maybe. Awfully hard to see if someone is coming up on us if the dark hides them.”
Belladonna let out a little squeak. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t want to scare you.” That was the truth. Ash had been very clear we might end up on the receiving end of some unhappy Undines.
“Tell me what you’re talking about!” The demand shouldn’t have been unexpected, but for the last few hours I’d experienced a strange sensation of closeness with my older sister. Maybe it was just because she’d been so quiet and I could pretend we were getting along.
Taking up the rowing again, I chose my words carefully. “The civil war has left all the ambassadors dead. And while we had a nice little welcome note on the boat, I am not convinced this might not be a trap.”
“And you are just telling me this now?” Belladonna reached across as if to slap me and the boat rocked precariously.
“Belladonna, stop! You’ll tip us into the water.” I put my hands on the sides of the boat, forcing it to settle down. “The Undines might still let us in. We may be able to help where no one else could because you are a princess. That is what Father is banking on. That you will be safe.” I chose not to mention he also needed me out of the way while the ambassador from the Pit roamed our home. Then again, that thought of treachery swam through my brain. We could very well be handed over to the Undines and Father would be rid of two very prickly problems. It was one of those moments I wondered on our two names. Both plants we were named for were beautiful . . . and poisonous.
“Belladonna, listen to me. The only way we are going to survive this is if we work together. Understand?”
Her body went still as she stared out. “Lark, I think I see something.”
I grabbed the left oar and dragged it through the water, spinning us sideways. Three triangular fins cut through the liquid darkness. The only thing giving them away was the tiny waves rolling around them.
“Belladonna, don’t move.”
But I was too late and she was too afraid, or at least, that was what I thought. My sister spun on her seat. “Ender, you have to protect me.”
I was going to tell her that was my job. But a bump under the boat rocked us hard to the right. The water lapped at the edge, and splashed in. I caught a glimpse of movement slicing through the water, the flip of a tail, the quick glisten of rows of teeth. Belladonna screamed and clutched the high side of the boat, which of course just sent us swinging back the other way with a force that flipped the boat completely.
Eyes open, the salt water stung as I submerged under the water, but I wasn’t going down with my eyes clamped shut. The boat still floated above us, how in the mother goddess’s name it had stayed upright was beyond me, but I would count it a blessing.