Dirty English

I held my water bottle up. “A toast to shitty parents.”

A large blue dragonfly landed on my arm, its stick-like body vibrating. I’m not the kind of girl who screams bloody murder when an insect shows up. The artist in me preferred to study everything in great detail.

“Oh. Look how pretty it is,” I said, but he’d already seen it and had leaned in closer, the smell of him male and potent.

“It tickles,” I giggled after a while, and he shooed the creature away, his gentleness surprising me.

He watched it fly away and then sent me a considering glance. “It’s funny—every time I see a dragonfly, I think it’s my mum’s spirit. She loved them. Crazy-like. She even had this charm bracelet someone had given her, and you’d think she’d have different things on it, but all she bought were dragonfly charms. She had magnets, knickknacks, even paintings.” He rubbed his jawline. “On the day of her funeral, we were at the burial and one landed on Dax and then flew over to me. It hovered around us the entire time and wouldn’t leave. It was strange yet comforting—” He swallowed and then continued. “The day my father showed up at our house to move us here, one followed our car for miles. Weird, right? I—I just always think it’s her looking out for me.”

“That’s beautiful. Is that why you have the tattoo on your neck?”

“Yeah. To always have her with me.”

Him, him, him , my body said. Pick him tonight.

I fidgeted, switching my water from one hand to the other.

“Hey, you okay? Did my story bother you?” His eyes watched me, landing on my lips.

I licked them. “Uh, no, it’s just we seem to have this thing , like a connection, and I was wondering if maybe, you know, if you weren’t busy later, and you know, if you aren’t with anyone else, and if you think it’s cool, and if you’re attracted to me and like sex, then perhaps you could come back to my place?”

I closed my eyes in horror. Kill me now. Shit, shit, shit. That came out so wrong.

I popped my eyes open to see Blake jogging over to us. Thank God. Someone to rescue me from my stupidity.

I chanced a look at Declan for a reaction to my offer, but his face was a cool mask as he watched Blake approach us.

Had he even heard me? What was up with him?

Blake stopped in front of me, not looking at Declan. “Come on, you love this song. Let’s go dance,” he insisted, grabbing my hand and tugging.

I cleared my throat and got my nerve back up. “Why don’t we all go out and dance? Declan?”

Declan sent me a conflicted look, his eyes going to my hand enclosed in Blake’s and then back to my face. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “No, thanks,” he said coolly.

What was that?

“Go on. I’ll be out there in a minute,” I told Blake, who immediately sent me a sulky look but stalked back to the dance floor.

I turned to Declan. “Why don’t you want to dance? No rhythm?” I grinned to lighten the suddenly dark mood he seemed to be in.

“Are you Blake’s girl?” His words were clipped.

“No. I don’t date anyone. I have fun, that’s it. And in case you missed it, I just propositioned you. Horribly.”

His face softened as he touched my hair briefly and then dropped his hand. “You shocked the hell out of me, you know. It was surprisingly … earnest and cute.”

Cute? The worse adjective ever for a girl. A death knell sounded.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I got caught up in the night and you …” Obviously, he wasn’t interested.

“Don’t think I’m not into you,” he said rather huskily.

“But?”

“It’s not a good idea.”

“Whatever. I should be running like hell from a guy like you anyway.”

His eyes zeroed back in on mine. “Why?”

“Long story.”

He shifted closer to me, his hand brushing mine. “Maybe you can tell me that story someday.”

And then out of the blue, tears pricked at my eyes at his tenderness, and I hurriedly blinked them away before he noticed.

He exhaled, seeming to be uncertain about how to proceed. “Look, I’ve seen you around on campus. You keep to yourself and underneath you seem, well, fragile—and honestly, I like my girls and sex hard. I’d be all over you, and somehow I’m sensing you aren’t down with that.” His intense eyes searched mine. “Putting everything out there, I just broke up with someone a few months back, and I wouldn’t want to use you.”

I got hung up on I like it hard , and repeating it in my head made sweat pop out.

“Maybe I want to use you, and I’m not fragile. No one hurts me anymore,” I said, but before he could reply to that, Shelley yelled from the dance floor.

“Elizabeth, get your ass out here and dance with me.” Her arms waved at me to come on, her lithe body gyrating around several partners.

When I turned back to Declan, a pretty girl with blond hair cut in a sharp bob had come up and crooked her arm through his. Thin with big boobs, she wore stilettos and a soft periwinkle dress that probably cost more than my rent.

She took a look at me, dismissed me with a sniff, and turned to Declan.

“Hey, babe, I need to talk to you.” She ran her fingers down his arm.

His entire body stiffened, a cold look on his face as he peered down at her. “What do you want?”

“You,” she whined. “Just give me a chance to explain …”