Also, I would just like to add, I knew it! I knew they Did It! Way back in the beginning of eleventh grade, I knew it.

“Lilly!” I cried. “You told me you never slept with him! I specifically asked you, and you said he could have taken advantage, and he never did!”

“Yeah,” Lilly said, sinking down beside me and slumping against the wall. Her face was devoid of expression. “Well, I lied. I still had some pride, I guess. And anyway, it’s not like I didn’t get something out of it, too. I was totally warm for the guy’s form. I just would have appreciated it if, in the end, he wouldn’t have turned out to be lusting for my best friend the whole time.”

“Oh my God,” I said, again. I was having a whole lot of trouble picturing J.P. and my best friend—Lilly—doing…well. That.

Also, what about all those times J.P. said he was a virgin, just like me? About how he was so glad he’d waited for the right girl, and how that girl was me? J.P. Reynolds-Abernathy IV’s Big Fat Lie Number Four. Or was it Five, now? Wow, he was going to start beating my lying record soon.

“Lilly,” I said. My heart felt like it was twisting in my chest, I felt so bad. Not for myself. For Lilly. I understood now. Everything…even about ihatemiathermopolis.com. This didn’t make it right.

But it made it more understandable.

“I’m so, so sorry,” I said, reaching out to take her hand, with its black-painted nails. “I had no idea. And…well, about the other thing. Him dumping you for me. I had no idea about that, either. Honestly, though…why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Mia, come on.” Lilly shook her head. “Why should I have had to? As my best friend, shouldn’t my ex have been off-limits? You should have known better. And what were you doing, breaking up with my brother over that dumb Judith Gershner thing in the first place? That was just so…psychotic. Most of the beginning of last year, you were psychotic.”

I bit my lower lip. “Yeah,” I said. “I know. But the things you did didn’t help, you know.”

“I know,” Lilly said. When I glanced at her, I saw there were tears in her eyes. “I guess I was pretty psychotic, too. I…well, I loved him, you know. And he dumped me for you. And I…I was just so angry with you. And you were being so stupidly blind about who he really was. But…you seemed happy. And by then I had Kenny, and I was happy…and well, I figured maybe now that he had you, J.P. would be better…how do you apologize for something like that…what I did?”

She looked at me and shrugged helplessly. I looked back at her, my own eyes filled with tears, as well.

“But, Lilly,” I said, sniffling a little. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too,” Lilly said back. “Even though I kind of hated your guts for a while.”

This made me sniffle harder.

“I hated your guts, too,” I said.

“Well,” Lilly said, the tears sparkling like jewels in the corners of her eyes. “We both acted like idiots.”

“Because we let a boy come between our friendship?”

“Two boys,” Lilly said. “J.P. and my brother.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Maybe we should agree never to do that again.”

“Agreed,” Lilly said, and snagged my pinky with hers. We pinky swore. Then, sobbing a little, we hugged.

And it’s weird. She doesn’t smell like her brother.

But she smells really good, just the same. She smells like something that reminds me of…well, of home.

“Now,” Lilly said, wiping tears from her eyes with the backs of her hands, when she let go of me. “I have to get back to the party, before Kenny blows something up.”

“Okay,” I said, with a shaky laugh. “I’ll be right out. I just need…I just need a minute.”

“See you later, POG,” Lilly said.

I can’t even tell you how good it felt to hear her call me that. Even though I used to hate it. I couldn’t help laughing as I wiped away my own tears.

And she got up and left, just as two girls who looked only kind of familiar to me came in and went, “Oh my God, aren’t you, like, Mia Thermopolis?”

And I was like, “Yeah.” What now? Seriously. I don’t know how much more I can take.

And they went, “You better get back out there. People are looking for you. Everyone is saying they’re going to name you prom queen. They’re just, like, waiting for you to come back out so they can start the ceremony.”

So. Yeah. Looks like I’m prom queen.

Sadly, if J.P. is prom king, he’s in for a big surprise.

Sunday, May 7, midnight, limo on the way downtown

I walked out of the ladies’ room and sure enough, they were calling out the names of the Albert Einstein High School prom king and queen: J.P. Reynolds-Abernathy IV and Mia Thermopolis.

I’m not even kidding.

How did I go from the geekiest girl in the whole school my freshman year to prom queen my senior year? I don’t get it.

I guess turning out to be a princess might have helped.

But I don’t think that had all that much to do with it, really.

J.P. came through the crowd and found me and smilingly took my hand and steered me up to the stage where the lights were shining so brightly down on us. Everyone was screaming. Principal Gupta handed him a plastic scepter and put a rhinestone tiara on my head. Then she made a speech about positive moral values and how we exemplified them, and how everyone should look up to us.