Kingsbane

Page 128

It was all absurd, and yet Eliana could not turn away from it. It was her future, and her past. It was the war she had chosen to fight.

Harkan’s laughter joined her own, and when they subsided at last, she leaned her head on his shoulder, wiping her eyes. She watched the garden’s shadows deepen. She wondered if years of war had altered the shapes of the trees, the colors of the blooms. She wondered what they all would have been, had they grown up in a world not ruled by the Empire, and what kind of girl she would be if they succeeded in changing the course of history. Raised in a castle, child of a king and a queen, what kind of woman would she become? What friends would she make? What lovers would she invite into her bed?

“I’m leaving in the morning,” Harkan told her.

She shook away her spinning thoughts. “To prepare for the army’s arrival?”

He nodded against her head. “We’re forming a perimeter.”

“Who will go with you?”

“Catilla, Viri. Evon, Dani’s son. Gerren too.”

“Gerren.” Eliana sighed. “He’s too young to be a soldier.”

“We’re all too young to be soldiers.”

“Surely there won’t only be five of you.”

“No. Thirty, on our team alone. And Simon and Dani have arranged for five other teams to wait stationed throughout the city, standing by to provide you cover as needed.”

Eliana’s eyes grew hot. “So many. More than I expected.”

“They’re eager to fight for you,” Harkan said quietly. “They heard of what you did in Karlaine. In Astavar too. Sinking the fleet.” He pressed his mouth against her hair. “They’d do anything for you, any one of them. They speak of you with tears in their eyes.”

“Stop saying these things,” Eliana whispered.

“El, you’ve given them hope.”

“Please, stop. I can’t bear to hear about their love for me when I very well might end up killing them.”

“What shall I talk about, then? How my ass hurts from sitting here for so long? How Darby hums when he takes a shit?”

She offered him a false, slight laugh. “Tell me where you’ll go, exactly. Your team. You particularly.”

“The less you know, the better.”

“Bastard. I knew you would say that.” She swallowed hard. “You said your team leaves in the morning. When?”

“Dawn.”

Never had a single word sounded so cruel. “As your Sun Queen, I command you to come back to me safely.” She tried to make a joke of it, but her voice sounded flat and strange.

“And as your friend,” Harkan said, “I beg you to take care of yourself.” He drew in a long, slow breath. “El… Simon wants you to fight a war for him, and for everyone, and you’ve been doing that marvelously, and I’ve no doubt you will continue to. But please don’t push yourself beyond your limits on his account. I know you love him, but I also know he’s rather a zealot, and you tend to jump into the role of martyr whenever you can. It’s a dangerous combination.”

And then, before she could say anything more, before she could work past the lump in her throat, he gently pulled away from her and stood. Facing the gardens, he straightened his coat.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he said, his voice strange and closed, “but I really must, or I’ll lose my mind. I’ll say things I shouldn’t. I’ll beg you for things you can’t give. And anyway, Simon is coming, and he looks as though he has something important to tell you.”

Then Harkan strode into the house, leaving her to stare helplessly after him.

Zahra, you will go with him, she thought desperately into the night, not even sure if the wraith was close enough to hear her. Keep him safe. Let him know that I love him. I don’t think he believes me.

And then Simon was there, hurrying across the terrace toward her, looking bright-eyed and wild. She realized with a start that she hadn’t seen him all day.

His frantic energy pulled her to her feet. He carried with him a cold, acrid smell, like the tang of smoke and the hot buzz of galvanized light.

“You did it,” she guessed, reading the oddness in his eyes. “You traveled.”

“I did. Not far.” He sat heavily on the bench, running his hands through his hair. His voice and fingers shook, though with excitement or terror, Eliana didn’t know.

She caught his hands in her own, brought them to her lips, and then, when he would not stop trembling, she swung her legs over his lap and slid her arms around him. She pressed the warmth of herself against him, tucked her head beneath his.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his arms coming around her. “It’s just that I haven’t traveled in years. I thought it was lost to me. And now, so suddenly, it’s returned, and all at once I must do a thing I never thought I would do again. And if I fail, we’re all lost.”

“If you fail? What about me?” Again, she tried to tease; again her voice emerged shaken. “I’m the one who has to face my mother, not you.”

He swore quietly, kissed her hair. “I should be the one comforting you.”

“Then comfort me.” She pulled away from him, traced the tired lines around his mouth. “Take me upstairs and comfort me, and then we’ll sleep.”

He kissed her hands. “And tomorrow we’ll begin.”

She helped him to his feet, this wild man with his blue-fire gaze. “And tomorrow we’ll begin,” she agreed and led him quietly upstairs, to the room she now thought of not simply as hers, but as theirs, and shut the door behind them.

• • •

At dawn, with the first arms of gray light touching the sky, Harkan’s team left the safety of Willow for the rocky grin of mountains circling Festival’s southern border. Eliana came downstairs, to the terrace where he had held her, to say goodbye. Mutely she received a gentle embrace from Viri and Catilla, and a fiercer one from Gerren; prayers from soldiers on bent knees; murmurs of thanks and well wishes from those Dani had brought out from the city.

And then, an embrace from Harkan before Eliana was prepared for it—tight and brief, silent, his face pressed into the bend of her neck. Two seconds, her fingers clutching his shoulders, and he was gone, moving off through the trees to join the others.

“Don’t make me do this,” came Zahra’s miserable voice, and Eliana tore her gaze away from Harkan’s retreating form to find the wraith drifting at her elbow, small and shrunken. Her dark eyes shimmered at the edges, as if losing cohesion.

Tip: You can use left and right keyboard keys to browse between pages.