Princess in Love

Page 23

But I couldn't bring myself to do it, because of Michael. I mean, Michael obviously WANTS Judith here or else he'd tell her

to go away. RIGHT?????

Anyway, with Michael so busy and all with Miss Gershner, I guess I am on my own with the whole Algebra review thing.

That's all right. I'm completely fine with that. I can study on my own just fine. Watch:

A, B, C = disjoint partition of universal set Collection of non-empty subsets of U which are pairwise disjoint and whose union is equal to the set of U

I get that. I totally get what that means. Who needs Michael's help? Not me. I am totally cool with the collection of

non-empty subsets.

TOTALLY COOL WITH IT.

Oh, Michael

You have made my heart

a disjoint partition.

Why can't you see

that we were meant to be

a universal set?

Instead, you have turned my soul

into a collection of non-empty subsets.

I cannot believe

that our love was meant to be

pairwise disjoint.

But rather

a union

equal to the set of

U and me.

Wednesday, December 9, French

You know what else I just realized? That if this thing works - you know, if I do manage to get Michael away from Judith Gershner, and I break up with Kenny, and I end up, you know, in a potentially romantic situation with Lilly's brother — I

will not know what to do.

Seriously.

Take kissing, for instance, I have only ever kissed one person before, and that's Kenny. I cannot believe that what Kenny and

I did really encompassed the whole of the kissing experience, because it certainly wasn't as fun as people always make it look on TV.

This is a very disturbing thought and has led me to an equally disturbing conclusion: I know very little about kissing.

In fact, it seems to me that if I am going to be doing any kissing with anybody, I should get some advice beforehand. From a kissing expert, I mean.

Which is why I am consulting Tina Hakim Baba. She may not be allowed to wear make-up to school, but she has been kissing Dave Farouq El-Abar - who goes to Trinity -for close to three months now, AND liking it, so I consider her an expert on the subject.

I am enclosing the results of this highly scientific document for future reference:

Tina — I need to know about kissing. Can you phase answer each of the following questions IN DETAIL????

And DO NOT show this to anyone!!!! DO NOT lose this paper!!!! -Mia

1. Can a boy tell if the person he is with is inexperienced? How does an inexperienced kisser kiss (so I can avoid that)?

Mia — the moment you have been waiting for. The guy way sense a feeling of nervousness coming from you, or that you are uneasy, but everyone is nervous when they are kissing someone new. It's natural! But kissing is easy to catch onto — believe me! An inexperienced kisser might break away too soon because he or she is scared or whatever. But that is normal It's weird, kissing someone for the first time. It's SUPPOSED to be weird. That's what makes it fun.

2. Is there such a thing as a great kisser? If so, what are the qualifications? (So I know what to practise.)

Yes, there is such a thing as a good kisser. A good kisser is always affectionate and gentle and patient and not demanding.

3. How much pressure do you exert on his lips? I mean, do you push or, like in a handshake, are you just supposed to be firm? Or are you just supposed to stand there and let him do all the work?

if you want a gentle kiss (a caring one) don't apply too wuch pressure (this is also true if he is wearing braces — you don't want to cause any lacerations). If you give a guy a 'harsh' kiss (too much pressure), he might think you are desperate or that you want to go further than you probably do. Of course you aren't supposed to just stand there and let him do all the work: kiss him back! But always kiss him the way YOU want to be kissed. That is how guys leant, if we didn't show them how to do everything, we'd never get anywhere!

4. How do you know when it's time to stop?

Stop when he stops, or when you feel like you've had enough, or don't want to go any further. Simply and gently (so you don't freak him out) move your head back or if the moment is right,

you can change the kiss into a hug then step back.

5. If you are in love with him is it still gross?

Of course not! Kissing is never gross! Well, OK, I guess I could see that maybe with Kenny, it might be. It is always better with someone you actually like. Of course, even with someone you really like, sometimes kissing can be gross. Once Dave licked me on the chin, and I was all, get away. But I think that was by accident (the licking).

6. If he is in love with you, does he even care if you are bad? (Define bad kisser. See above.)

if the guy likes/loves you, he won't care if you are a good kisser or not. In fact, even if you are a bad kisser, he will probably think you are a good one. And vice-versa. He should like you for what you are— not how you kiss.

DEFINITION OF BAD KISSER: A bad kisser is someone who gets your face all wet, slobbers on you, sticks his tongue in when you're not ready, has bad breath, OR sometimes there can be kissers whose tongues are all dry and prickly like a cactus but I have never experienced one of those, just heard about them.

7. When do you know if it's time to open your mouth (thus turning it into a French)?

You will probably feel his tongue touch your lips, if you want to pursue the idea, open your lips a little, if not, keep them closed. Coming domain — Chapter II: How to French!!!!

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