I saw Lana nodding like she understood, though. She probably did, too. Lana is very familiar with all things Brazilian. I know because I’ve seen her naked in the shower.
Wednesday, September 9, still G&T
Mia. Let’s make a list.
No! Lilly, leave me alone! I have too many problems right now to make a list.
What problems? You don’t have any problems. You’re a princess. You’re not flunking Algebra. You have a boyfriend.
That’s just it! I have a boyfriend, but apparently he expects me to—
To what?
Never mind. Let’s make a list.
LILLY AND MIA RATE THE REALITY SHOWS
Survivor:
Lilly: A sickening attempt by the media to draw viewers by pandering to the lowest common denominator and appealing to the public’s enjoyment of watching others being exploited and humiliated. 0/10
Mia: Yeah. And who wants to watch people eat bugs? Ew!!!! 0/10
Fear Factor:
Lilly: Ditto. 0/10
Mia: More bugs. Yuck. 0/10
American Idol:
Lilly: This show is entertaining—if your idea of being entertained is watching young people being ridiculed for attempting to share their talents with the world. 5/10
Mia: Having had my own dreams crushed all too recently, I am not a fan of watching other people get theirs stomped on. 2/10
Newlyweds:
Nick and
Jessica:
Lilly: If watching the pathetic ramblings of an uneducated chanteuse who doesn’t know the difference between chicken and tuna is your idea of a good time, please feel free to watch this show. I won’t try to stop you. 0/10
Mia: Jessica is not dumb, just inexperienced! She’s FUNNY. Also, Nick is hot. Best show EVA! 10/10
The Bachelor/ette:
Lilly: Who cares about two stupid people getting together? All they’ll end up doing is having kids, and then there’ll be more stupid people on this planet. And we’re encouraging them by watching this show! Disgraceful. 0/10
Mia: Harsh! They’re looking for love! What could be wrong with that? 5/10
Trading Spaces:
Lilly: I would so never let Hildi near my room. 10/10
Mia: Have to agree. What is wrong with her? But it would be cool to turn her loose on LANA’s room. 10/10
Real World:
Lilly: Perfection—if your idea of perfection happens to be watching young people cavort in hot tubs without parental supervision or any apparent morality. Which mine is. 10/10
Mia: Why do they all have to be so mean to one another? Still, it IS kinda good. 9/10
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy:
Lilly: Five homosexuals give makeovers to hetero men who can’t keep their rooms tidy and don’t know any better than to wear acid-washed jeans. Some proponents of equal rights for the same-sex-oriented fear this show will set their movement back decades. And yet…why WAS that guy wearing that hideous hairpiece for so long???? 10/10
Mia: Yeah, and I happen to know someone who could still use a little help from the Fab Five, who I’m sure frown on sweater-tucking-in. 10/10
The Simple Life with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie:
Lilly: You’re joking, right? I’m supposed to be entertained by a human praying mantis and her drunk friend as they rudely mock the people who were kind enough to take them in? I don’t think so. 0/10
Mia: Um. I kind of have to agree here. Those girls need some MAJOR princess lessons. Maybe next time the Hilton sisters and little Nicole could spend a week with Grandmère! I bet SHE’D have something to say about their piercings. Now that’s a reality show I’d LOVE to see!!!!!!! 0/10
Wednesday, September 9, U.S. Government
THEORIES OF GOVERNMENT (con’t)
SOCIAL CONTRACT THEORY: Thomas Hobbes, 17th-century English philosopher, wrote Leviathan, stating that:
Humans originally existed in a “state of nature.”
In other words, ANARCHY.
But anarchy is bad! With anarchy, people can just do whatever they want! With anarchy, for instance, a certain cheerleader, who shall remain nameless, could wear a pair of shorts that clearly belong to a member of the men’s soccer team under the skirt of her school uniform and make sure everyone notices that she’s wearing them by crossing and uncrossing her legs in a very athletic and flamboyant way during her U.S. Government class, as she might be doing RIGHT NOW in flagrant defiance of school regulations. And a certain other person, who shall remain nameless, might feel like telling on her, but will ultimately decide not to, because tattling is wrong unless someone’s life is at stake.
Hobbes maintained that the original contract between people and state was final, resulting in state’s absolutism.
Fortunately John Locke modified the theory to say that the contract could be renegotiated.
GO JOHN LOCKE!
GO JOHN LOCKE!
GO GO
GO JOHN LOCKE!
Wednesday, September 9, Earth Science
Kenny just leaned over to me to remind me that he has a new girlfriend, Heather, whom he met at science camp this summer. Apparently, Heather is superior to me in every way (straight A’s, does gymnastics, doesn’t employ slapstick humor or popular culture references in her expositional essays, isn’t a princess, etc.), so despite what I might think, Kenny is completely over me, and that I can go around flashing my big baby blue eyes at him all I want, it won’t make any difference, he is NOT going to do my Earth Science homework for me this semester.
Whatever, Kenny. First of all, get your prescription checked: my eyes are gray, not blue. Second of all, I never asked you to do my Bio homework for me last year. You just started doing it on your own. I’ll admit it was wrong of me to LET you, seeing as how I knew I didn’t exactly like you in the same way you liked me. But rest assured that’s not going to happen again. Because I’m fully going to pay attention in class and do my OWN work. I won’t even NEED your help.