“It’s something I need to figure out myself,” Robin said. She paused to study the salads before selecting a mound of cottage cheese and setting it on her tray.
“What are you doing now?” Angela cried, throwing her arms in the air. “You hate cottage cheese. You never eat it unless you’re upset and looking for ways to punish yourself.” She took the small bowl from Robin’s tray and replaced it with a fresh fruit salad, shaking her head the entire time.
The problem with Angela was that she knew Robin all too well.
They progressed a little farther down the line. Robin stood in front of the entrées, but before she chose one, she glanced at her friend. “You want to pick one of these for me, too?” she asked dryly.
“Yes, I do, before you end up requesting liver and onions.”
Angela picked the lasagne, thick with melted cheese and spicy tomato sauce. “If you’re looking for ways to punish yourself, girl, there are tastier methods.”
Despite her thoughtful mood, Robin smiled.
Once they’d paid for their lunches, Angela led her to a window table that offered a certain amount of privacy. Robin busied herself arranging her dishes and set the tray aside.
Angela sat directly across from her, elbows braced on either side of her lunch. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else you’d care to tell me?”
“About what?”
“About you and Cole, of course. I can’t remember the last time I saw you like this. It’s as if…as if you’re trapped in some kind of maze and can’t find your way out.”
The description was so apt that Robin felt a tingling sensation along her spine. She did feel hopelessly lost. Her mind was cluttered, her emotions confused. She had one foot in the present, one in the past, and didn’t know which way to turn.
“I talked to Frank on Sunday afternoon,” Angela continued, dipping her fork into a crisp green salad. “He said he enjoyed the evening you spent with him, but doubted you’d be seeing each other again because it’s obvious to him that you’re in love with Cole Camden. In fact, Frank said you talked about little else the entire evening.”
“He said all that?”
Angela nodded. “He’s right, isn’t he? You are in love with Cole, aren’t you?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Angela persisted. “It’s written all over you. You’ve got that glazed look and you walk around in a trance, practically bumping into walls.”
“You make it sound like I need an ambulance.”
“Or a doctor,” Angela whispered, leaning across the table. “Or maybe a lawyer…That’s it!” she said loudly enough to attract the attention of several people at nearby tables. “Cole took you to bed, and now you’re so confused you don’t know what to do. I told you I’d stumble on the answer sooner or later.” Her eyes flashed triumphantly.
“That’s not it,” Robin declared, half rising from the table. She could feel the color crowding into her cheeks as she glanced around the cafeteria. When she sat back down, she covered her face with both hands. “If you must know, Cole asked me to marry him.”
A moment of shocked silence followed before Angela shrieked with pure delight. “That’s fabulous! Wonderful! Good grief, what’s wrong with you? You should be in seventh heaven. It isn’t every day a handsome, wealthy, wonderful man proposes to you. I hope you leapt at the chance.” She hesitated, suddenly still. “Robin? You did tell him you’d marry him, didn’t you?”
Robin swallowed and shook her head. “No. I asked him for some time to think about things.”
“Think about things?” Angela squealed. “What’s there to think about? He’s rich. He’s handsome. He’s in love with you and crazy about Jeff. What more could you possibly want?”
Tears brimmed in Robin’s eyes as she looked up to meet her friend’s avid gaze. “I’m afraid he’s more in love with the idea of having a family than he is with me.”
“Is Cole coming?” Jeff asked, working the stiffness out of his baseball mitt by slamming his fist into the middle of it several times.
“I don’t know,” Robin said, glancing at their neighbor’s house as they walked to the car. “I haven’t talked to him in the last few days.”
“You’re not mad at him, are you?”
“Of course not,” Robin said, sliding into the driver’s seat of her compact. “We’ve both been busy.”
Jeff fingered the bill of his baseball cap, then set the cap on his head. “I saw him yesterday and told him about the game, and he said he might come. I hope he does.”
Secretly Robin hoped Cole would be there, too. Over the past five days, she’d missed talking to him. She hadn’t come to any decision, but he hadn’t pressed her to make one, willing to offer her all the time she needed. Robin hadn’t realized how accustomed she’d grown to his presence. How much she needed to see him and talk to him. Exchange smiles and glances. Touch him…
When she was married to Lenny, they were two people very much in love, two people who’d linked their lives to form one whole. But Lenny had been taken from her, and for a long time afterward Robin had felt only half alive.
All week she’d swayed back and forth over Cole’s proposal, wondering if she should ignore her doubts. Wondering if she could ignore them. Sleepless nights hadn’t yielded the answer. Neither had long solitary walks in Balboa Park while Jeff practiced with his baseball team.