I’m tired of the facade. Of being something I’m not. If I had my slightly trampy clothes from my time in Hollywood or even my wardrobe from Cactus, I’d be wearing them. Today. Right now.

But I don’t have any of those clothes anymore. I burned most of them. It had felt like a cleansing of sorts, one I’d needed to start fresh.

Now I wish I had them. Just to remind me of my roots and who I really am. That reminder would fuel me and keep me strong for what I’m about to do today. Something I need to do.

I need to quit.

But Matt showed up late which made me antsy. He came in just past nine with a harried expression on his face, rushing into the room with the determination of a man on a mission. He’d dressed casually, jeans and a polo shirt that fit him to perfection.

My mouth literally waters when I see him now.

But what else is new?

“Had a meeting with the Napa Valley Vintners this morning,” he says, stopping just in front of my desk. His mind is going a mile a minute, I can tell. “I need you to look into flights to New York City in a few weeks. We’re going to attend the Savor Wine Guild annual convention. Had no idea it was going down, so I need to make arrangements quick.”

I grab a pen and start jotting down notes. “What are the dates?”

“We’d have to leave two weeks from today,” he says, whipping out his phone and scrolling through his emails.

My pen stills on the notepad, and I pause for a moment, his words slowly sinking into my dense brain. I glance up to find him watching me carefully. Almost too carefully. “Did you say we?”

“I want you to go with me, Bryn. I’ll need your help. It’s only for a few days but it’s a busy few days. I’ll want your input, and you’ll have to keep me on task,” he explains.

He wants me to go with him, alone, to New York City. I must be hearing things.

“Are you serious?”

“Serious as a heart attack.” His expression is dead serious too. “You’re my assistant right? I can’t do this alone, Bryn. There’s going to be a two-day forum with business discussions, workshops, and extensive, in-depth wine tastings. I can’t be everywhere at once, so I need you to take on some of the workshops and talks or whatever, take notes and get back to me.”

“Okay.” I take a few more notes then turn to my computer and start searching for flights. “Are you sure you want to bring me though? I mean, really? Won’t it be just an extra expense, my flight and hotel room, food and everything else that comes with traveling?”

“I need as many write-offs as I can get,” he says dismissively. “And I can afford to bring you, Bryn. That’s not an issue so don’t worry about it.”

All my plans of giving my notice to Matt fly right out the window at his rapid-fire requests. There’s no way I can leave now. He needs me, as ridiculous as it sounds. Despite all the trouble I will no doubt bring him and the expectations he’ll have, I need to be there for him.

I can do this. I’ll work for the next two weeks, take the trip to New York, run around this convention with him for a few days, come home, and then I’ll give my notice. That ought to give me enough time to find a job in Cactus, not that it should be too difficult.

I’d called my grandma last night, asking if I could go back and live with her in Cactus. She’d agreed readily, her booming voice coming at me over the phone, loud and reminding me why I left my hometown in the first place.

“Of course, you can come live with me, girl. I know Wanda down at the Soap-n-Snip needs a new phone girl. Maybe you could get your cosmetics license and make that career happen. It’s a good one, you know. Why, that sweet little Becky who’s only two years older than you has made herself quite the career working there.”

Then she’d launched into a twenty-minute gossip session full of what’s been happening in Cactus the last few years. By the time she finished, I knew everything. All of it.

Some stuff I found interesting. Other stuff I could care less about. Typical Cactus talk, all of it.

And soon I’ll be back, right in the midst of it all. Working at the Soap-n-Snip, answering the phone, sweeping up hair and generally miserable with life.

At least I’ll be in my element, back in my hometown. Where I can literally let down my hair, be free and be me.

I don’t feel like I can be me anywhere else, not even here.

Especially not here.

“I’ll find some flights and show you the options,” I say, my voice crisp as I go into efficient mode.

“Great. Go to the Savor website and register us too. We’ll probably have to pay for late registration, but I don’t care. I can’t miss this. The people at the Vintners said I must attend this event. We’ll find out the latest trends, see both the business and the creative side of winemaking; it’s going to be pretty awesome.” He smiles, and I smile back unable to stop myself.

He’s just so excited, so pumped to do this. I want to be excited for him. Even though I plan on disappointing him completely within the next month.

Matt

“YOU SLY DOG.” Gage shakes his head just before he takes a bite of his cheeseburger. We’re at a restaurant in downtown St. Helena, one that makes the best burgers and sandwiches and doesn’t have a vegetarian or gluten-free option in sight. This is why the place is filled with mostly men. We’ve grown weary of the massive health movement that’s taken over our area so easily.