The Mercedes peeled out of the driveway and took off, almost hitting a few mailboxes on the way.

“Damn it!” Panicked, I kicked the ground then ran to my side of the SUV and quickly jumped in. “Get in, Nat.”

She didn’t need to be told twice.

I only had an idea of the direction he went. I didn’t want to call him, lest he be idiot enough to answer it and actually get himself killed.

“Stupid! Why is he so stupid?” I slammed the steering wheel. “I want to hate him! Damn it!” Sirens blared in the distance.

I didn’t make the connection.

Minutes later, we pulled around the corner.

“Alec, pull over!”

“I can’t, Nat! I have to find Demetri, I have to—” The words died on my lips as my eyes fell on the accident ahead of us.

My world tilted, fell off its little pedestal, and shattered.

I’d just killed someone.

But not just anyone.

My brother.

“No.” I shook my head and pulled into a spot across the street. “No.” I slammed the car door and ran at top speed towards the paramedics as they carried the stretcher to the ambulance. Blood was everywhere. Demetri moaned. I started cussing and pushing at the cops as they pulled me away from a paramedic. Holy shit I was going to punch the guy if he didn’t let me see Demetri.

I fought against the cops for what felt like hours as someone pushed against Demetri’s chest.

More blood.

My knees gave way. I kept shouting but it was like I was watching myself react, not actually experiencing it.

Nat wrapped her arms around my waist, and then I saw Mrs. Murray. She hugged me too and I burst into tears.

“Are you his brother?” one of the paramedics asked.

“Yes,” Nat answered for me.

“If you’re riding with us, we need to go now.” He jumped into the ambulance. I looked to Nat as if waiting for her permission.

“Go!” She pushed me towards the doors. “We’ll follow.”

I was relieved she was able to make the decision for me. I tossed her my keys and prayed Demetri would be okay as I watched the paramedics work on him — doing things I didn’t understand, keeping him alive.

The one thing I’d failed to do.

Keep him alive.

When we got to the hospital they had already been notified, they moved Demetri into a surgical room. I tried to follow but was again restrained.

A man I’d seen once in my life — Mrs. Murray’s husband, took one look at me then one look at Demetri and yelled. “I’m scrubbing in.”

“You’ve been up for twenty-four hours,” a man shouted.

“I’m scrubbing in. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“Yes Doctor,” the same man yelled back.

Mr. Murray gripped my shoulders. “It’s going to be fine. Alright? It’s fine. You need to be strong, can you do that?”

I nodded, feeling a bit sick.

“Water.” He pointed to the waiting room. “Go get some water and sit down.”

Legs shaking, I walked over to the waiting room, just in time to see Nat fly by me and fall into her dad’s arms sobbing.

“Don’t let him die, just don’t let him…” She fell to the ground. Her dad nodded and ran off in the direction of the room.

“Nat?” Her mom helped her to her feet and then my arms were around her. She rubbed my back, my neck, and just held me. It was what I needed. It was my sanity during those moments.

After we held each other for a few minutes, I whispered in a shaky voice. “We should go sit down.”

Nat nodded.

Shit. Just another reason for her to hate me, for me to hate me.

I trained my eyes on the door. On the other side of that door my brother was fighting for his life, so I tried to give him strength in the only way I knew how. By not crying, but not freaking out, and by waiting… patiently like Dr. Murray had said to do.

“He’s going to be okay.” Nat squeezed my hand; I barely felt it.

“Alec,” Nat asked, “Is there anyone I need to call?”

Slowly, I shook my head, “I don’t know, I can’t think right now…”

“Your manager? Agent? Someone to handle the media?”

“Crap.” I looked away from the doors. “Nat, I don’t think I can do it, I can’t—” My voice cracked.

“Give me your phone.” She held out her hand.

I dug into my pocket and handed her the phone. I told her my agent’s name, my publicist’s name, everything. She called and I listened to her tell them the story, repeating it three times before finally pressing end.

When she was finished, some of the anxiety lifted. Nat hugged me and gripped my hand tighter. “Is there anything else I can do?”

I relaxed a bit and offered a pathetic smile. “Honestly Nat, you’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty. Just sit by me. That helps.” It was the only thing that helped. The only thing that was keeping me from falling to the ground and weeping.

“I love you.”

I couldn’t find my voice for a few seconds and when I did, I used the last strength I possessed to whisper, “I love you too, Nat.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Alec

THE NEXT TWO hours passed in a blur. Finally, Dr. Murray came out of the operating room and gave us good news.

But it fell on deaf ears.

I was relieved.

But the guilt still remained.