The Bonehunters

'Interesting philosophy, Stormy,' said Quick Ben. 'But what if that " something" is too big, or too many, or nastier than you?'



'Then you cut it down to size, wizard.'



'And if you can't?'



'Then you find someone else who can. Maybe they end up killing each other, and that's that.' He waved the half-empty bottle of belack. '



You think you can make all sortsa plans? Idiots. I squat down and shit on your plans!'



Kalam smiled at Quick Ben. 'Stormy's onto something there, maybe.'



The wizard scowled. 'What, squatting-'



'No, finding someone else to do the dirty work for us. We're old hands at that, Quick, aren't we?'



'Only, it gets harder.' Quick Ben gazed up at the sky keep. 'All right, let me think-'



'Oh we're in trouble now!'



'Stormy,' said Kalam, 'you're drunk.'



'I ain't drunk. Two bottlesa wine don't get me drunk. Not Stormy, they don't.'



'The question,' said the wizard, 'is this. Who or what defeated the K'



Chain Che'Malle the first time round? And then, is that powerful force still alive? Once we work out the answers to those-'



'Like I said,' the Falari growled, 'you talk and talk and talk and you ain't getting a damned thing.'



Quick Ben settled back, rubbing at his eyes. 'Fine, then. Go on, Stormy, let's hear your brilliance.'



'First, you're assuming those lizard things are your enemy in the firs' place. Third, if the legends are true, those lizards defeated themselves, so what in Hood's soiled trousers are you panicking 'bout?



Second, the Adjunct wanted to know all 'bout them and where they're going and all that. Well, the sky keeps ain't going nowhere, and we already know what's inside 'em, so we done our job. You idiots want to break into one – what for? You ain't got a clue what for. And five, you gonna finish that white wine, wizard? 'Cause I ain't touching that rice piss.'



Quick Ben slowly sat forward and slid the bottle towards Stormy.



No better gesture of defeat was possible, Kalam decided. 'Finish up, everyone,' he said, 'so we can get outa this damned warren and back to the Fourteenth.'



'Something else,' said Quick Ben, 'I wanted to talk about.'



'So go ahead,' Stormy said expansively, waving a grouse leg. 'Stormy's got your answers, yes he does.'



'I've heard stories… a Malazan escort, clashing with a fleet of strange ships off the Geni coast. From the descriptions of the foe, they sound like Tiste Edur. Stormy, that ship of yours, what was it called?'



'The Silanda. Dead grey-skinned folk, all cut down on the deck, and the ship's captain, speared right through, pinned to his Hood-damned chair in his cabin – gods below, the arm that threw that…'



'And Tiste Andii… heads.'



'Bodies were below, manning the sweeps.'



'Those grey-skinned folk were Tiste Edur,' Quick Ben said. 'I don't know, maybe I shouldn't put the two together, but something about them makes me nervous. Where did that Tiste Edur fleet come from?'



Kalam grunted, then said, 'It's a big world, Quick. They could've come from anywhere, blown off course by some storm, or on an exploratory mission of some kind.'



'More like raiding,' Stormy said. 'If they attacked right off like they did. Anyway, where we found the Silanda in the first place – there'd been a battle there, too. Against Tiste Andii. Messy.'



Quick Ben sighed and rubbed his eyes again. 'Near Coral, during the Pannion War, the body of a Tiste Edur was found. It had come up from deep water.' He shook his head. 'I've a feeling we haven't seen the last of them.'



'The Shadow Realm,' Kalam said. 'It was theirs, once, and now they want it back.'



The wizard's gaze narrowed on the assassin. 'Cotillion told you this?'



Kalam shrugged.



'It keeps coming back to Shadowthrone, doesn't it? No wonder I'm nervous. That slimy, slippery bastard-'



'Oh Hood's balls,' Stormy groaned, 'give me that rice piss, if you're gonna go on and on. Shadowthrone ain't scary. Shadowthrone's just Ammanas, and Ammanas is just Kellanved. Just like Cotillion's Dancer.



Hood knows, we knew the Emperor well enough. And Dancer. They up to something? No surprise. They were always up to something, from the very start. I tell you both right now,' he paused for a swig of rice wine, made a face, then continued, 'when all the dust's settled, they' ll be shining like pearls atop a dung-heap. Gods, Elder Gods, dragons, undead, spirits and the scary empty face of the Abyss itself – they won't none a them stand a chance. You want to worry about Tiste Edur, wizard? Go ahead. Maybe they ruled Shadow once, but Shadowthrone'll take 'em down. Him and Dancer.' He belched. 'An' you know why? I'll tell you why. They never fight fair. That's why.'