“Yeah.” I was an idiot. An idiot who needed to change the subject. “Her parents owned a flower shop. Well, her dad still owns it.”

“Are they close?” Dad asked.

“Yup, real tight. She goes to see him and his girlfriend every other month. They take vacations together every year.”

“You know a lot about her, don’t you?” He turned to look at me, smiling. I did. I didn’t remember listening to what she had to say—not intentionally, anyway—but I remembered everything she’d told me about herself. Which wasn’t much, because talking was never something I’d encouraged in our relationship. But right now the burning question was whether Mad was going to humor me by joining me for another weekend outside the city. I didn’t think she would.

My father’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he picked it up on speaker. “Jul,” he said, his voice softening. He definitely didn’t remember the contract. “How is Clemmy?”

“Huh? Oh yeah. She’s fine.” Dad must’ve cockblocked the real reason he was calling. I wondered if Booger Face was ever in Julian’s mind. “Hey, look, Amb spoke to the maintenance company. The house in Lake George is good and ready. Should I pick you and Lori up, say, Friday morning?”

He was going to whisk my parents off for a weekend with his family? Sans Katie and me, while Dad was on the brink of dying and pretty much in hospice care? Hell no. I could smell his plan from miles away. Julian wanted to butter Dad up before he went for the CEO kill. Somewhere my sister and I couldn’t stop him.

“Sounds good,” Dad said. “Have you spoken to Katie?”

“No. I think she has a volunteering gig with Saint Jude’s this weekend,” Julian said. It sounded like he was sifting through papers in the background. Possibly more bullshit he wanted my father to sign. “You know how Katie is. Always a do-gooder.”

“You should try again. Katie usually volunteers every end of the month.” I butted into their conversation.

There was a pause from Julian’s end. Then he recovered. “Chase. I didn’t realize you were there.”

“He is my father.”

“Biologically, anyway.” Julian laughed good-naturedly. “You two are very different, though.”

“What’s that?” I asked, taking one last turn onto that side street before making my way to my parents’ apartment building. “Would I like to join you at the ranch? Of course I would. How nice of you to offer, Julian.”

There was a pause and then, “Bring Maddie with you. Amber’s been dying to see the engagement pictures.”

“I will.” Will I? Last I checked, Madison was going to extreme lengths to avoid me. She’d been dodging my calls and text messages. At this point, the only thing stopping her from slapping a restraining order against my ass was the fact we worked in the same building. Still, I couldn’t not be there. She had to understand.

“Great. Looking forward to it.” Julian’s voice was too relaxed. Too blasé.

But I was too enraged to realize it was a trap.

Too goddamn rabid to know what I was willingly walking into.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

MADDIE

September 25, 2008

Dear Maddie,

Today I found cigarettes in your backpack. Again. We had an argument. It was bad. You said it was a mistake. It’s not a mistake if you continue doing it. You must have a reason to repeat the same action over and over again.

Whether you want to rebel or get distracted or you simply got addicted.

It’s like the corpse flower that smells like rotten meat. It smells like this because it is rare and vulnerable, not by chance.

Every decision you make has a reason. Think about it.

Love,

Mom. x

This time, I didn’t lie to myself.

Didn’t fight it or deny it. It had a name. Mom had said it best in a letter years ago, when I’d tried smoking when I was going on fifteen. It was an addiction.

When I saw Chase’s name on my caller ID, I picked it up on the first ring. When he invited me to the ranch, ready to launch into a convincing speech, I cut off his arsenal of arguments and promises and accepted immediately. The carnal need to be there for him nearly paralyzed me. I knew, with certainty that bubbled in my veins, that it didn’t make me Martyr Maddie.

It made me someone who cared deeply for Chase and didn’t want to see him fail.

Layla was going to have a field day when she found out I was still playing with the devil. But knowing what I knew about Julian, about Amber, I felt responsible for Chase where they were concerned. Besides, our lie to his family was so big at this point it loomed over everything, my conscience included. It was a rolling snowball, growing larger each time it spun, swallowing objects and feelings and victims—Ethan, Katie, Clementine—as it descended an endless mountain of dishonesties. Even though I knew the snowball was going to hit something and pop at any minute, I couldn’t stop it. Coming clean didn’t seem like an option anymore. I accepted this was something Chase would have to deal with once he lost his father.

We arrived at the Lake George ranch early Friday evening.

The nineteenth-century stone building sprawled on a good portion of the ten-thousand-acre land the Blacks owned. The entire second floor was bursting with green double-doored balconies. Ivy curled up the building, the backdrop of the lake making the property one of the most magical things I’d ever witnessed with my eyes. The sun sank lazily toward the horizon, the sky surging with various shades of gold and pink.

I must’ve sucked in a breath when Chase helped me with my suitcases, because he glanced over his shoulder and chuckled. “This one’s Dad’s favorite. The Hamptons is Mom’s playground.”

“Which one’s yours?” I asked, not fully realizing what I was insinuating.

He stopped walking, shooting me a charged frown. “You.”

He dropped my bags. There was a moment when I thought he was going to wrap his arms around me and kiss me. I wanted him to do that. Badly. But he just shook his head, getting rid of whatever it was he was thinking about.

“Don’t let me seduce you,” he growled.

“Okay.” We continued walking. “Why?”

“Because once I have you again, it will be impossible for me to let go. To let you be. To respect your decision.”