The Matchmaker's Playbook
Lex shook his head. “No, man, because you look like shit. I highly doubt you could even board an airplane without hitting the weight limit.”
I lifted my shirt. “Six-pack, you were saying?”
“Stop flashing me.” Lex looked away and covered his eyes. “Where the hell do you put it?”
“You know, a girl asked me that once. I didn’t answer, just shoved my giant—”
“Clearly you’re feeling better.” Lex held out his hand again. “Let’s toss you in the shower and get some ‘sex me’ clothes on. Remember one of the most important stats? Guys typically mess up within the first two weeks of a new relationship. And why is this?”
“God complex sets in,” I grumbled. “They finally won the lottery, and they want to buy everyone a drink.”
“God complex.” Lex nodded. “Translation: I stole a sexy piece of ass away from Ian Hunter, which means I could have any chick I want, so come hither, my little pretties, and let me show you what a real man can do.”
I made a face. “Please, like they’d even feel him.”
“Hah.” Lex nodded. “Alright, my work here is done. Go get your shit together. We leave in fifteen.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
The bar scene had always been my thing. Actually, give me any location with willing girls and alcohol . . . and you’d have my perfect night.
Except tonight.
The girls all seemed too eager and fake.
The lights too dim.
The crowds more irritating than exciting. And to top it off, Lex had already claimed the one chick who looked exactly like Gabi. When I pointed that out, it must have traumatized him, because after that he took three shots of tequila and mumbled, “Not a chance in hell.”
We’d taken a cab to the bar, and it looked like I’d be riding back solo. Something that hadn’t happened in years.
The alcohol wasn’t doing its job properly; I needed it to numb the pain that still stabbed me in the chest every time I thought about Blake.
And David had yet to arrive, even though Lex swore that he would be there. All in all, it was a shitty night, and thanks to all the pizza I’d had, the alcohol wasn’t really affecting any part of my brain, not yet.
“Hey there.” A tall Asian girl raked me over with interest. She looked like a Victoria’s Secret model. “Do I know you?”
“Everyone knows me” had once been my line.
Tonight? “Nope.” I offered a polite smile and sidestepped her, making my way back to the bar.
“Jack on the rocks. Make it a triple,” I called out to my new best friend, the one who’d help me get drunk and forget the fact that at this very moment David probably had his pathetic hands all over Blake’s body.
Damn Lex. Tonight was going to be a dead end.
I was far from drunk. Only one way to rectify that.
I lifted my glass into the air. I was just about to take a sip when, through the bottom of my ice-filled glass, I saw a tall figure make his way through the crowd.
David.
I lowered my glass, eyes zeroed in on whoever he was with. Because it sure as hell wasn’t Blake. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions. It was too soon. She could be a friend, or even a girlfriend of another team member. Athletes hung out together all the time, so it wouldn’t be a stretch.
He laughed loudly, already sounding drunk, then lowered his head to hers . . . and kissed her sloppily on the mouth.
Whoa. Not a friend.
My grin widened as he kissed her harder and then grabbed her short prostitute-looking friend and kissed her as well.
The short chick was wearing a painted-on fuchsia dress that any hooker could buy for five dollars and a line of coke.
“Come here, bitches!” he yelled, slurring a bit, then rocking his sad Jolly Green Giant body toward girl one while girl two smacked him from behind. The crowded dance floor made way for them. Fascinated, I watched. He couldn’t dance worth shit, but clearly he was too plastered to care.
“Like I said,” Lex said from behind me, seeming to appear out of thin air. “God complex.”
“Happens to the best of them,” I said, feeling smugger by the minute.
“And the worst.” Lex winced and shook his head in disapproval as David started swiveling his hips and thrusting back and forth.
“Hell, he must be shit in bed, if the man can’t even move to the beat.” Lex shivered. “I actually feel sorry for the drunk girls.”
“Right?” I turned around and started making my way back toward the bar. Lex followed.
“Hey.” I motioned for the bartender to come over.
“Don’t like your drink?”
“Drink’s great.” I slid him $200 cash. “But I have a job for you.”
He looked down, covered the cash with his hand, and said, “What do you need?”
“See Jolly Green Giant over there?” I pointed. “I want to know what he orders, who pays, the story on the chicks. And give him at least four drinks on the house so that you loosen up his lips a bit, got it?”
“Cool.” The bartender stuffed the bills in his back pocket.
“I’ll be back in an hour or so. Try to keep them here. If they end up partying hard, I’ll pay the entire tab, whatever it takes.”
“I’ll try, man.”
“Classic move.” Lex sipped his drink. “I think our work is done here. I’ll catch you at home. Just make sure she doesn’t scream too loud, cool?”