“What’s Battle of the Nations?” I said, but Rhys didn’t give Gentry a chance to answer.

“Essentially, it’s the Olympics of historical medieval combat. Full armor, real fighting. Instead of using wooden swords, it’s fought with actual medieval weaponry. Obviously, not with sharp edges. The blades are rebated, but even with all the pointy bits knocked off a mace, it can still do some damage, right, Gentry?”

“Is that what happened to your shoulder?” I said.

“Yeah, before he hurt his shoulder, we were training to go to the tryouts for the American team. Then last year was a no-go. What about this year?”

“’Twas last week. In Spain,” Gentry said, the first thing Rhys let him get in.

“I guess it’s lucky for me you didn’t go this year,” I said.

“How’s that?” Rhys said.

“Because I needed him this week, and I was really glad he was here.” I got a nod from Gentry, which seemed funny, since I was trying to thank him.

“Yeah, well, he’s not actually ever going to Battle of the Nations. No way would his mother let him go to Europe.” Rhys laughed. “She put her foot down pretty damn fast, as soon as he started talking seriously about it last year.”

Rhys talked the whole way back to Mud Manor and, when we got there, he started dropping hints about going skinny-dipping in the pond. When I refused, the three guys went off to go swimming, and honestly, they needed it. Jousting was sweaty business.

“Don’t take it the wrong way,” Rosalinda said once we were alone. “Rhys is a terrible flirt, but he doesn’t mean anything by it.”

“It’s nice to meet Gentry’s friends.” Habits are hard to break. Maybe Rosalinda’s house was a mud shack and a fire pit, but it was still her house, so I wanted to be polite.

“Well, you know, Gentry is special to us.” In case I didn’t get the warning, Rosalinda followed up with, “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“About what?” I said.

“About Gentry. Do you know what a paladin is?”

I shook my head, because apparently it was Point Out the Gaping Holes in Zee’s Education weekend.

“Let’s just say that Gentry really is noble. It’s not something he’s playing at. He’s a Christian, and not in the sense that he just goes to church every Sunday, but that he really believes in the chivalric code.”

“I know he’s a good guy.”

“It’s more than that, though,” Rosalinda said. “So don’t be surprised when you find out he can’t be seduced.”

I laughed, probably a lot louder than I should have, because the whole situation was funny. I wondered if I’d misunderstood about Edrard and Rosalinda being married, because she was acting kind of jealous. Did I look like I was planning to seduce Gentry?

“I’m just saying, I don’t know of any girl who’s ever made it to second base with him.” Rosalinda stood up with this prim little smile on her face and shook out her skirt.

I didn’t know how to answer her, because she was being serious, and all I could think of were jokes. He seems more like a short stop to me. Have any boys made it to second base with him?

I settled for saying, “Did they have baseball in the Middle Ages?”

CHAPTER 23

Rosalinda

   All weekend it was Lady Zhorzha this and Lady Zhorzha that, while I got treated like a draft mule. The story of my life. The worst part was her flirting with Rhys while showboating about Gentry being her champion. Or maybe the worst part was Gentry acting like her servant. Her steak had to be cooked just right, and he cut it up for her like she was a baby.

After dinner, Edrard brought out his mandolin and we sang, which was our frequent amusement in the evenings, but then Zee stood up and said, “Not to ruin the illusion here, but I need to make a call. Is there any place that has better reception?”

In an instant, Gentry and Rhys were on their feet.

“My lady, yon hill is the place of fair to middling reception,” Rhys said.

“I shall walk thee,” Gentry said.

No matter how helpless Zee was with sewing and cooking, I assumed she could walk uphill without an escort, but I think she had something more than a phone call in mind, because she took Gentry with her. I’d warned her he wasn’t that kind of man, but she probably took it as a challenge. She wouldn’t be the first girl who decided she was going to be the one who finally hooked up with him, and she would be wrong like the rest of them. My mother always told me that men prefer to do the chasing, and they prefer a woman who’s never been caught.

Zee and Gentry were gone so long that Rhys joked about some mischief befalling them, but the only thing likely to befall them was Zee making a fool of herself. When they came back at sunset, it was obvious she’d been crying. Of course, Rhys noticed that Zee seemed a bit down, and then he and Gentry were having a chivalry-off. Did my lady want some more mead? Was my lady warm enough? Too warm?

“Do you guys ever smoke up?” Zee said, after they’d moved the big log bench about five inches further from the fire for her.

“No,” I said. “Cigarettes are as much an anachronism as cellphones.”

“I don’t know what that means, but I wasn’t talking about cigarettes. Do you like to get high?”

The answer should have been no, but Edrard ignored the look I gave him and said, “I’m not opposed to partaking of a little medicinal herb.”

“Hear hear. This party needs a fun injection,” Rhys said.

I expected Gentry to be on my side, but he went up to his pavilion and brought down a zippered makeup pouch that belonged to Zee. I wouldn’t have minded so much if they’d only smoked a little, but they kept passing Zee’s pipe around until they were all stoned. Including Gentry. I assumed that was her doing, but when I asked him when he’d started smoking marijuana, he said, “My brother Carlees, when we weren in school, we smoked, tho it my mother liketh not.”

While they smoked, I sang, but after they got stoned, Edrard sang a bawdy song, which meant Rhys had to sing a vulgar one.

“What about you? Do you sing, too?” Zee said to Gentry.

“My lady, Sir Gentry is a warrior, not a bard,” Edrard said.

Gentry laughed. He was lounging at Zee’s feet, but he sat up and cleared his throat.

“Needest thou a note to tune thy voice?” Edrard said, which made us all laugh.

Out of absolutely nowhere, Gentry sang. Or anyway he made a joke of singing.