Only, I added something else to that to-do list.

Opening the liquor cabinet that the Black Diamonds stocked when on security detail, I poured copious amounts of second-rate bourbon down my throat.

The pills were fucking useless. They blocked emotions from tainting me, but they didn’t do anything about taming my own.

When Kestrel appeared with Nila in his arms on screen, I almost smashed the bottle and sliced my wrists open with jagged glass. And when he’d stripped her and climbed into bed, I buckled under heartbreak—my insides cascading with broken blood.

Cut and Daniel arrived.

I drank more disgusting alcohol. Their thoughts and enjoyment splashed around my burning body, cocooning us in a cesspit of nastiness inside the small, windowless room.

The sounds of Kestrel grunting tore at my eardrums. The sights of sheets bunching and bed moving dug daggers into my eyes. Nila’s begs echoed like a never-ending reflection in my soul.

It was all…too…fucking…much.

Cut and Daniel laughed. They peered closer for a better view. They whispered and high-fived and muttered what horrific things they would do during their turns.

I kept drinking.

And drinking.

And motherfucking drinking.

Each swallow only stoked my pain, and if it wasn’t for my trust in my brother, I would’ve slaughtered everyone in the bloody room.

It felt like it went on for decades—who knew how long it truly was. But slowly, my attention turned from the fiasco on the TV screen to my brother and father.

Their evil plans became slurred and unfinished. Their eyes hazy and glazed. Cut saw me watching him and stole the bourbon to swig a healthy dose.

He could have the damn bottle—it didn't matter. I was past legal levels of blood intoxication. I saw double. I heard triple. I felt quadruple pain.

Keep it together.

Kes assured me, they’d be out cold in approximately ten minutes.

Not long…

I grimaced when Cut slapped me on the back. I hid my murderous intentions when Daniel sneered as Nila screamed.

Inch by inch, I died inside.

All my life, I’d been in pain. Emotional pain. Physical pain. Psychological pain.

But this…

This pain—especially the moment when Nila realised what Kes intended and gave in to him—was like nothing I’d ever felt before.

It was physical, emotional, and psychological all at once.

A ransacking of my very marrow. An acid on my soul.

I couldn’t break. I couldn’t cry or scream or yell.

All I could do was crowd around the camera with my condemned family and witness the rape of the woman who held my fucking heart. If Kes and I pulled this off, we stood a chance of ending this. I was done trying to win on my own. Nila was my team. Kes was my team. Together, we would win against wrathful corruption.

Kestrel picked up his pace; the sheets tangled harder around two thrusting bodies.

And that was my limit.

I completely lost my shit.

Daniel cackled. “I’m going to fuck that cunt’s mouth.”

Cut laughed. “Her arse is all mine.” He turned to me. “You haven’t ploughed that yet, have you, Jet?”

Yep.

I lost it.

I fucking punched Cut in the jaw.

He fell.

Hard.

Cut smashed against the door, folding to the floor.

“Hey!” Daniel launched himself on me, but he was too slow. I slammed my fist into his face. With a grunt, he crashed against the keyboard, bouncing off the desk.

Two throws. Two men down.

My knuckles throbbed. I waited to deliver more.

But they never woke up.

I liked to think it was my powerful punch, but…it was all thanks to Kes.

Everything was all thanks to fucking Kes.

I groaned, grabbing my head, willing the memories to stop.

The hardness of the floor and coolness of sleeping with no blankets forced me to haul myself to my knees. My lips pressed together against the backwash of stale bourbon. The pills I’d taken at the start of the night had worn off, but the liquor was well and truly still controlling my blood.

I should’ve headed to bed once it was all over, but I couldn’t.

How could I?

Inching higher on my knees, I peered over the edge of the bed. The remaining shadows painted her in a ghostly collage.

My hands fisted on the bedspread as her eyelids twitched and fingers strummed a nonsense beat on her sheets.

The drugs Kes had given her would wear off in another hour—it never lasted long. Already, her body fought it off—legs jiggling and feet battling imaginary beasts.

I wanted to step into her dreams and slay the figments for her.

I wanted to reassure her that nothing had happened.

“Nila, I’m so fucking sorry.” I stayed vigil, stroking her arm as she whimpered. Silent tears tracked down her cheeks.

She would wake soon to a different kind of nightmare.

She would be told a lie. It would tear her apart, but in order for this deception to work, she had to believe. She had to believe, because my father and Daniel had to believe.

My mind skipped backward again.

I looked up as the door to the security room opened.

My brother stood there fully dressed with a grim line for lips.

The moment I saw him, hatred billowed, and I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. “Did you fuck her?”

His eyes flashed. “What do you think?”

“I think you went above and beyond what we’d discussed.”

He shook his head. “I did exactly what you said.”