Turbulent Desires

She hadn’t ever been much of an animal lover. It wasn’t that she didn’t like them, just that she was slightly afraid of dogs—especially big dogs. But Princess seemed so vulnerable that she wasn’t at all afraid of the little girl.

“Hi, Princess. Want to walk with me today?” She didn’t even think twice about speaking so seriously to a dog.

The little girl’s ears perked up, and though she moved tentatively, she came up to Lindsey and sniffed her hand. When Lindsey moved her fingers, Princess took a step back and flinched, and tears immediately popped into Lindsey’s eyes. Someone had hurt Princess. It was more than obvious, and everything inside her ached to protect this puppy from ever being abused again.

Lindsey understood the puppy’s fear because of what she herself had gone through, but she didn’t want to focus on that. She just wanted to take care of this hurt animal in front of her.

“What happened to her?” she asked in a choked voice as she continued holding out her hand. Princess walked back up, taking her time. This time Lins didn’t move her fingers but stayed still.

“She was rescued from a breeding camp where they’d kept her in a tiny cage producing puppies. Obviously, she wasn’t shown a lot of affection, and one of the people in the house, who is currently in jail, liked to kick the dogs for fun.” The barely contained rage in Mav’s voice was mirrored in the horror that Lindsey felt at such monstrous behavior.

“How could someone hurt her? She’s so small, so afraid,” Lins said with a choked voice.

“Because there are monsters out there who get off on inflicting pain on people and animals.”

As he said this, he gave her a look of understanding. Had he brought her here knowing she would make comparisons with her own abused soul? She had a feeling he had. But she wasn’t upset with him. She was actually starting to understand that there was a lot more depth to Maverick than he wanted the world to know about.

“Thanks for bringing me here, Mav,” she said as Princess climbed into her lap.

Slowly Lindsey began petting her. The dog was shaking, but she wasn’t pulling away. Lins wanted to pull her tight to her chest and reassure her that everything would be okay now, but she knew better than anyone that it wasn’t always okay.

“Thanks for coming with me,” he said as he reached over and chucked her chin, then stood up. “Ready to take these guys on a walk.”

“It looks like they have a giant playground here,” she pointed out. They’d passed a huge grassy field coming into this part of the shelter.

“Yes, but they like getting out of here too. It’s good for them to experience lots of new smells. I chose this location to build because a couple blocks down the road is a great animal park, and they get to meet new friends.”

He helped her stand, though Lindsey didn’t want to let go of Princess, who looked up at her with those shy eyes once she was on her feet.

The aide snapped the leash in place and handed it to Lindsey, then said good-bye and trotted off as a coworker called her to come and help.

Benji was raring to go, so they began the journey out the back of the shelter. Though Princess wasn’t in a huge hurry, she was staying pretty close to Lindsey’s feet as they began making their way through the streets.

“He’s pretty full of energy, isn’t he?” she said with a laugh as Benji tugged on his leash when a cat ran in front of him across the sidewalk. He barked a few times before he lost interest.

“Yeah, he’s been with us a few months. I’m pretty attached to him,” Mav told her.

“Have you thought about adopting him?”

“Every single day. But I’m gone a lot, and sort of live out of a bag. It wouldn’t be fair to him, or any animal. I’ve been thinking more and more about changing my life. If he’s still with us . . .” He trailed off.

“Changing your life how?”

“I’m just gone far too much to have an animal I’m responsible for. It might be time to change things.” He didn’t elaborate.

They reached the park. There was a fenced section where smaller animals were playing without leashes on. There were even a few play structures that the dogs were climbing. It was the funniest thing Lins had ever seen.

“Is this all for the animals?” she asked as they walked inside, Mav latching the gate behind them. He led her to a bench and then undid Benji, who raced off to play with the other dogs.

“Yep. It’s all for them,” he told her.

She undid Princess’s leash, but the dog just looked up at Lindsey with those beautiful, sad eyes. So instead of making her run off, Lindsey picked her up and cradled her in her lap while she leaned back and talked to Mav.

“She’s not getting exercise sitting in your lap,” he said with a laugh.

He moved slowly as he brought up his hand and let Princess sniff it before he scratched her behind her ears.

“She needs snuggle time more than running,” Lins told him, feeling over-protective of the animal she most likely would never see again. That thought sent a pang of sadness through her.

“She still needs a home,” Mav said.

The instant desire to take her was overwhelming. But before Lins could even entertain that idea, she tamped it back down.

“I can’t take her. I don’t even have my own place right now.”

“Coop and Stormy wouldn’t care at all if you had Princess living there with you,” he told her. “And I know for a fact that neither of them are in a hurry for you to leave,” Mav said.