Twilight Memories

Nothing came. Nothing she wanted, at least. Rhiannon sat up abruptlyl and pinched the candles out with her fingers. She massaged her temples and sighed.



This had been her room. Rebecca's room. The girl who'd thrown herself from the tower to escape marriage to Roland. Images of the young, lovely creature had flooded into Rhiannon's psyche, making it impossible to concentrate on Pandora. There was something troubled in Rebecca's spirit, something uneasy.



She was not at peace."Rhiannon?"



She glanced up at Roland, saw the question in his eyes."I'm sorry."



"He's in a car."



Tamara's small voice startled them all. She still lay on her back, but her eyes were open. She remained motionless, as if she feared that moving would shake the images from her mind.



"He's in a small, black car. There's a blue duffel bag in his lap, with some clothes inside, and a little money. And his cleats. His cleats are in there, too."With that sentence, her voice warbled and her eyes filled.



Eric started forward, but Rhiannon held up a hand."Tamara, who is driving the car?"



She frowned.



"I don't know him. He's very big. Like a wrestler. His hair is cut close to his head so it sticks up in bristles. It's dark.



His nose is like a bulldog's."She frowned harder.



"There is a tattoo on his right forearm, a cobra."' "Lucien,"Roland whispered.



"Can you tell which direction they drive, Tamara?"She shook her head.



"There are mountains, with snow at the peaks."Tamara sat up slowly, and Eric bent to help her to her feet. She met his intense gaze.



"It's the same man who attacked Rhiannon, isn't it? He has Jamey now."



Eric nodded.



Never before had Rhiannon seen such an expression on the fledgling's face.



Always, she'd seemed so timid, so mild. Now, her eyes glowed with the fierceness of an approaching storm. She tossed her head like a lioness, her jaw tight with what looked like rage.



"If he hurts Jamey, I will kill him."She spoke in a calm, level voice, leaving no doubt she meant what she said. Stiffly, she moved past Eric and out the door. Eric hurried behind her.



"Well. I've never seen her like that."



"I have,"Roland said softly.



"But only when the boy was threatened."



She turned in the doorway, where she'd been standing to watch them go. She was alone with Roland, she realized all at once. She swallowed the lump that leapt into her throat.



"This was her room, wasn't it?"



He glanced around him, and nodded.



"How did you know?"



"I feel her here. She did not detest you so thoroughly as you think, you know."



He shook his head.



"That, I cannot believe."



She shrugged.



"It's not my concern what you believe. I only thought you might like to know."She turned to go, but he caught her shoulder from behind.



"My words, in the cimetibre were not meant to cause you pain, Rhiannon. If they did, then I'm sorry."



She stiffened.



"It takes more than words to cause me any pain. Don't worry yourself on that account."



He pulled her around to face him, and she saw the regret in his eyes.



"Rhiannon, I hurt you. I know I did, and believe me, I wish I could take back the words that caused that hurt."



"Why take back the truth?"She removed his hand from her shoulder with a brush of her own.



"We have the boy to find, Roland. This conversation only delays his rescue."



Roland sat in the front of the rental car, map unfolded on his lap.



Of them all, he was the most familiar with the area and the terrain, having traveled much of it by horseback in times long past. True, the towns and cities and roads differed. But the lay of the land was the same. And the only snow capped mountains near enough for Lucien to have reached within such a brief span of time, were in the direction they now traveled.



Eric drove as Roland navigated. Rhiannon remained in the back seat beside Tamara. The small vehicle seemed to reverberate with the tension it held.



It was Eric who finally broke the silence.



"I believe I owe you an apology, Rhiannon.""Whatever for?"



"I didn't take your meditation seriously. I should have."' She waved a dismissive hand.



"Don't give up your skepticism so easily. We haven't found Jamey yet."



"But we're on his trail. Tamara feels it too strongly for it to be a mistake. I don't doubt that."



Roland shook his head.



"Admit it, Eric. She had you hooked from the moment those candles burst to life on their own."



Eric smiled and glanced over his shoulder at Rhiannon. Roland wished he could do the same, but looking at her had traumatic effects on his mind.



"He's right,"Eric said.



"That was a convincing display."



By the tone of Rhiannon's voice, Roland knew the exact expression on her face. That almost smile. The look in her eyes that said she knew something you didn't. Many, many things you didn't.



"A simple parlor trick for an immortal, Eric. I could teach you to do it.



To be honest, I usually light the candles in a more mundane manner, but I was angry and wanted to be sure you were suitably chastened."



Roland glanced sideways at his friend in time to see the surprise on his face.



"Well, it worked."Eric frowned and adjusted his mirror for a better view of her face.



"You say you could teach me to do it?"



She must have nodded, but Roland wasn't certain. You have all become familiar with the physical strength that comes with immortality. But the dark gift brings with it a'psychic strengthening, as well. It grows with age, as the physical powers do.



Lighting the candles is simply a matter of focusing your mind's power on their wicks. Like a beam of light, it hits, and they ignite.



"As both the strengths reach full potential, we can learn to combine the psychic with the physical to achieve the two feats even I've not yet mastered. But I've heard of some who have."



Roland tilted his head.



"Rhiannon, there are some things better left alone."



"Of course there are,"she told him.



"Cobras and active volcanoes are among them. This is not."



Eric grinned wider.



"She's got you there. Tell me, Rhiannon. What two feats are you speaking of?"



"One is flight. And I'm actually very close to mastering that one. I can remain aloft for just under a minute. The trick is in maintaining the speed, and keeping the mind utterly focused."



Roland did turn now.



"For God's sake, Rhiannon! I had no idea you were experimenting with such nonsense. You'll get yourself killed."



Her eyes narrowed.



"If I do, that will be no one's problem but my own."She shifted her gaze back to Eric."Actually, practicing is horrible. I can only go up once a night. Then I fall and am usually too broken and bruised to do more than crawl back to my lair and wait for the healing sleep,"



Eric frowned, and Roland felt the glance he shot his way.



"That is pushing your luck, Rhiannon. Suppose one night you're too badly injured to make it back before dawn?"



She shrugged.



"Then I supposed I would roast, wouldn't I?"



She was trying to hurt him, Roland thought. Her words were filled with bitterness and pain; pain caused by his own careless words. She was only speaking this way to strike back. What in God's name had he said to hurt hell this much?



"And the other feat?"Eric prompted.



"Ah, this will amaze you. There are some, I am told who are able to alter their form."



"You mean, change shape? In what way?"



"Any way they wish, I imagine. The tales I've heart name only one immortal capable of such feats, and thl forms he's said to have taken include the raven, the wol and the infamous vampire bat."



Now, Roland noted with a twinge of gratitude, even Tamara's attention was caught. She'd done nothing throughout the entire ride but stare out the window into the passing night.



"You've got to be kidding,"she said, eyes wide.



"A vampire bat?"



"Well, I like to think he has a sense of humor, and did it on a lark.



Honestly, if given the ability to be anything one wished, why would one choose to be a nasty little bat? "



"Who is this talented immortal?"Eric asked, and Roland could tell by the tone of his voice that he was fascinated by the possibilities.



"He is called Damien. He is said to be the oldest and most powerful of any of us. I never sought him out. I have no desire to meet the man."



"Why not? I'd be thrilled to talk to him,"Eric said. Rhiannon lowered her voice deliberately, Roland was sure.



"You know the trick I did, igniting the candles with my mind?"Eric nodded.



"Well, it is said Damien can perform the same feat on people, mortal and immortal alike. He just looks at them, and ... poofl Living torches."



Tamara nudged her with an elbow.



"You're trying to scare us."She looked at Roland.



"None of this is true, is it, Roland?"



He sighed.



"As far as I know, it's all true. Though I've never witnessed any of it firsthand."



Eric shot Roland an accusing stare.



"Why have you never told me any of this?"



"As I said, there are some things best left alone. You think I want you out leaping from rooftops and breaking your neck? Changing yourself into a baboon and then getting stuck that way? Seeking out this man who can burn you to a cinder?"



"Honestly, Roland, you are such a"-- Rhiannon stopped in the middle of the sentence, her entire body going rigid. Her hand flew to her lips.



"Stop the car! Stop, Eric, at once!"



Eric slammed his foot onto the brake pedal. Tires skidded in gravel as he tried to pull to the side. Rhiannon was out the door before the vehicle had come to a full stop. Like a gazelle, she leaped the ditch and bounded into the forest.



Roland raced after her, having no idea what to expect. He knew Eric and Tamara were right behind him, but his entire being was focused on Rhiannon.



He'd felt the slap of her sudden shock as if it had been his own. But she'd been so closed off to him since they'd spoken in the cimetikre that he hadn't been able to tell what was wrong.



Then he saw her. A quivering, sobbing heap on the ground, her arms around the sleek, black body. Pandora wasn't moving. The cat's eyes were closed, and there was a sickening twist to one foreleg. Blood caked to a cut near her silken ear.



Roland knelt and pulled Rhiannon away. Eric and Tamara were there, and as Eric began to examine the cat, Roland held Rhiannon in his arms. She sobbed helplessly, her entire body quaking with each spasm.



Gone was the haughty, arrogant princess. In his arms, he held a devastated child, and it tore his heart out to see her so tortured.



"She's alive,"Eric said softly.



"But I'm not sure we can save her.



She needs a veterinarian."



"Then we'll find her one,"Roland declared, his arms tightening of their own will around her shuddering body Her tears soaked his cloak at the shoulder.



"There's town five miles east of here. It will only be a small de. tour."



Roland lowered his head, pressed his lips to hers "She'll be all right, Rhiannon,"he whispered into her hair.



"I promise you."



She shook her head against his neck.



"She ... has to be."She drew a ragged breath and lifted her head to gaze into his eyes.



"I'm s-sorry."Stiffening, she pulled herself from his embrace. She bent over the cat again, carefully slipped both forearms beneath the body and lifted her. Then she turned and started for the car, her shoulders still quaking with involuntary sobs.



Roland swallowed hard. Had he so alienated her that she couldn't even accept comfort from him?



He raced ahead of her, and opened the car's rear door. Rhiannon folded herself into the vehicle, the cat still in her arms. She scooted across the back seat, cradling the huge animal's head and shoulders in her lap. Roland gently eased Pandora's hindquarters in as far as he could, and closed the door with care. Tamara squeezed into the front, between the two men.



As Eric drove, Rhiannon whispered, stroking the cat's big, still head. She spoke as if no one else were in the car, addressing the animal as if it were human.



"Don't leave-me now, Pandora. There is no one else, you know. Only you. If you go, I'll be alone again."



Between each few words, a sob was torn from her breast.



Tamara turned in the seat, tears dampening her lashes."You love her very much, don't you?"



Rhiannon shook her head briskly. Her hair hung over her face, still bowed to the cat's. Tears glued strands of it to her cheeks.



"Don't be ridiculous."She sniffed and sobbed once more.



"I'm an immortal. I don't believe in loving anything."She stroked Pandora's head.



"It's just that ... she has loved me. Just as I am, she has loved me. No one else ever has."



"Oh, Rhiannon"



"I never had to prove myself to her. I was never unworthy in her huge green eyes. Never her curse."Roland winced at her words.



"Unconditional acceptance, absolute devotion. I've never known those things in all my years of existence except from Pandora. She wouldn't dream of rejecting me as not good enough to deserve her attention."



Roland felt a stinging in the backs of his eyes, and he heard a suspicious sniff from Eric.



"Rhiannon, no one could ever see you as unworthy"-- "No one but you, you mean? Ah, but you were not the first. No, that honor was reserved for the man who sire me. Don't think your indifference is so important, Roland The greatest Pharaoh of Egypt labeled me his curse long before you did."



Eric pulled the car to a stop at an all-night service station, and as the attendant emerged, he rolled down his window and asked in French if there was a veterinariar in town. When the answer was affirmative, Roland go out and demanded a telephone and a directory.



He woulc rouse the man from sleep, if necessary.



As he waited for the veterinarian to answer his tele. phone, he berated himself endlessly. He'd known nothin of Rhiannon's past. That her father had rejected her. Oh God, and with the same words he'd used in the cimetikre He could not have caused her more heartache, he suspected, had he been deliberately seeking to destroy hex Could he not inhale without hurting her?



How could h repair the pain he'd caused?



Rhiannon leaned over the table in the clinic that was no more than a room in the man's home.



"You ought t4 keep her sedated until I return,"Rhiannon told him "There is no telling how she will react to strangers."



"Oui, I will take no chances, mademoiselle."He rubbed his balding head, and adjusted the rectangular specs on his nose.



"I have treated many species, but never ze pet panther."He paused, but Rhiannon offered no explanation. After a moment he shrugged and let it go.



"She was struck by ze auto, non?"



"I don't know. I found her in the woods like this."Rhiannon glanced up into the mortal's pale blue eyes.



"If you can save her, I will build you a new clinic. An entire hospital, if you wish. I will give you more money than you can make in a year. Three years."



His smile was sudden, and genuine. He took her hand and patted it.



"I adore animals, mademoiselle. You share zat with me, non ? I will save her eef I can, whether you promise me the moon or bushel of apples as payment."



He released her hand to stroke Pandora's silken fur.



"I believe you will."She sniffed, and swiped at her eyes. She hadn't cried so much since the guards had car-fled her from her father's palace, to be placed in the temple of Isis. She'd been a five-year-old child then. She was ageless now. It was ridiculous, how fond she'd grown of the cat.



"I don't know when I can come for her. A few days, perhaps."



"I will care for her. Do not fear."



"Thank you."It didn't seem enough. She'd meant what she'd said. If he pulled Pandora through this, she would shower him with rewards.



Leaving the cat there felt like abandoning a babe. Rhiannon fought her tears and fbrced herself to go. Jamison needed her right now. She mustn't forget that.



In the car, she sat in stony silence for a time, until Tamara took her hand and held it firmly.



"She'll be all right."



Rhiannon nodded.



"Lucien will not."



"You think he did that to her?"



Rhiannon nodded again.



"Pandora was with Jamey. Now Jamey is with Lucien, and Pandora is on a cold table. Yes, I believe he is responsible. And I believe he will wish for death long before it's granted him."She closed her eyes and sent her thoughts over the miles. Do you hear me, Lucien ? I'm coming for you, you know.



Her eyes flew wide with surprise when she heard, echoing through her mind, the reply. I'll be waiting.



"It will be dawn soon. We need to seek shelter."Tamara sighed in frustration and Roland well understood her feelings.



"We'll do Jamey no good if we all sizzle in the sun, Tamara."



"True enough."



Eric continued driving, but turned onto smaller and narrower dirt tracks, in search of a safe resting spot for all of them. Finally, an abandoned barn came into view. Roland pointed to it.



"We can drive around to the back, to hide the car from view. Better yet, get the door open and pull it right inside. What do you think?"



"That would be the best idea. The ground in front looks smooth enough. Why don't you open the door, and see if there's room inside?"



Roland did, wrenching the door. It gave way and slid on its rusted tracks until there was room enough for the car to pass through. The barn was empty, save for a huge mound of musty-smelling hay and a few ancient-looking tools scattered about. Roland moved a broken pitchfork and an old milk can out of the way, and waved for Eric to bring the car in.



As soon as the engine died, Roland closed the barn door, plunging them into darkness.



"This will be safe enough,"Tamara observed.



"Can't be certain about cracks and crevices, Tamara. We'd best burrow into that haystack before we sleep, just to be safe."



She nodded, moving closer to Eric, who slipped his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her closer. She let her head lean onto his shoulder and closed her eyes.



"What do you suppose this Lucien person wants with Jamey? He's not DPI."



Eric shook his head.



"He wants immortality, Tamara,"Rhiannon told her."He wants me to transform him. I imagine he will use Jamey's life to bargain with."



Tamara grimaced, and turned fully into Eric's arms. Roland felt his stomach clench and unclench in involuntary spasms. His arms ached to wrap around Rhiannon in the same manner. But he told himself the breach between them was a good thing. No matter how bad it felt. No matter how he longed to erase the hurt he'd caused her. It was better this way.



"He knows we're coming,"Rhiannon said.



"He has incredible psychic capacity for a human. He's waiting for US."



"At least we know Jamison will be kept alive in the meantime,"Roland said, seeking to comfort Tamara in some small way. Unfortunately, he was about to cause her a great deal more discomfort.



"Tamara, there is something I need to tell you. About Jamey."



She turned, frowning.



"What is it, Roland?"



Roland averted his gaze. She would likely hate him for this.



"I've initiated a search for his natural father."



Her eyes widened.



"You--but why? I don't understand. Jamey doesn't need him. He has us."



Roland shook his head slowly.



"I am as fond of him as you are, Tamara. You know that. But we must think of what is best for Jamison."



"To leave the people he knows and loves? To go off and live with a stranger?



You think that's best for him?"



Eric touched her face, turned it toward his.



"Tamara, hear him out.



If you were in Jamey's place, wouldn't you at least like to know your father, to find out something about him? "



She frowned harder, and shook her head.



"He abandoned his son"-- "He never knew of the boy's existence,"Roland said slowly.



"You said it yourself. He deserves to be informed. Jamey deserves to be given the options, and to make his own decision."



"If you're sick of caring for him, Roland, then Eric and I will take him!"



Rhiannon shook her head slowly.



"Tamara, as long as he is with us, DPI will hound him. They watch us too closely, we're too easily spotted. In a normal, mortal family, Jamey would blend in as just another human boy. He'd be safe."



"I can't believe you're all saying these things,"Ta-mara said, shaking her head.



"Especially you, Eric. How could you turn on me this way?"



Eric looked stricken.



"No, Tamara. I only"-- "I don't want to hear any more!"She tugged free of his grip and raced out of the barn, through a smaller, side door, and into the night.



Eric put his head in his hands. Roland felt as if he'd been saying the wrong thing at the wrong time forever."I'm sorry, Eric. I didn't realize how strongly she would react."



Eric shook his head.



"Not your fault, old friend. She'll see that it's the right thing, given time."He glanced again toward the fading night beyond the door.



"I'd better go after her."



He did, and Roland turned toward Rhiannon.



"You think I'm doing the right thing?"



She sighed, and walked away from him, settling herself down on the hay.



"Since when does the staid and honorable Roland de Courtemanche seek the opinion of the reckless and self-destructive Rhiannon of Egypt?"



"I would like for us to remain friends, Rhiannon."He crossed the barn, and sat down beside her in the sour-smelling hay.



"And while I do think you reckless and self-destructive, I still value your opinion."



"Do you?"Her finely etched brows rose above her slanted, dark eyes.



"You know I do."



She sniffed, tilting her chin upward.



"Then you'll be interested to hear that I think you are the biggest fool ever born."



He frowned, studying her perfect face, seeing the hint of sadness still lingering in her eyes.



"Why?"



She stared at him intensely, as if trying to light the wicks of the candles in his mind.



"You'll never have with another, what you could have had with me."



His throat went dry.



"I know that."



"Then you're ten times the fool I thought you were."She turned away from him.



He touched her shoulder.



"I didn't know about your father's rejection, Rhiannon. I chose my words poorly when I referred to you as my curse. It's little wonder you're so angry with me."She didn't turn to face him."Rhiannon, I didn't mean it the way it seemed to you. It's that I want"-- She jerked away from his touch and faced him, eyes blazing.



"I do not care what you want, nor am I interested in your interpretation of your own words."



"Rhiannon, if you would let me explain, you would see that"-- "It no longer matters, so stop hectoring me with it."She looked away once again, and her eyes cooled until they held a chill that reached out to him.



"I am leaving, Roland. Just as soon as the boy is safe, and Pandora is well enough to travel. I am leaving, and this time, I will never darken your door again."She smiled very slightly, but it was a smile of bitterness and pain.



"You ought to be extremely relieved. Your curse will soon be removed."