Very Bad Things

“I . . . I’ve been listening to Alicia Keyes’ song, ‘Girl on Fire’ lately. It’s not her latest release, but I like it,” I said tentatively, not quite sure what was wrong with Teddy. Something was definitely off.

Leo grinned at Teddy and squeezed his shoulder. “He likes to talk about music.”

Teddy said, “Nora, Nora! I love music. Do you?”

I nodded, my eyes going from Teddy to Leo, trying to get the connection because I sensed a kinship between them.

As if he couldn’t sit still, Teddy rubbed his hands up and down on his jeans, still not meeting my eyes. “That song you said, ‘Girl on Fire.’ Show me how to play it? Please?” he asked.

Whatever strangeness was up with Teddy, I liked him. I couldn’t put my finger on it or define it right then, but sometimes you just know when you’ve met a friend. Something about him reminded me of myself. Maybe it was the unsure set of his thin shoulders as he waited for me to answer his question. Maybe it was the fact that I was a little strange, too.

“Yeah, sure thing. I’d love to. We’ll have to buy the sheet music but that’s not a big deal.” I nodded at his camera. “What’s with the camera around your neck?”

Teddy looked up and focused his eyes at my forehead. “Can’t breathe without my camera.”

Ah. There it was. “I know exactly what you mean,” I said.

Leo led me away from the band and over to a long couch where no one could hear us. “Teddy’s autistic,” he said. “And a musical savant.”

“Oh. Where did you find him?” I said, sneaking a look at Teddy, wondering what it was like for him to have a label. He was different, like me. I didn’t have autism, but I definitely wasn’t normal.

“We checked with local music stores and found Vixen. But Teddy? Kinda stumbled across him at a piano bar downtown that his sister owns.” He looked back at Teddy with a grin. “The night I saw him play he blew me away, playing old songs, new songs, pretty much anything the crowd wanted. He never used one piece of sheet music. So, I ended up staying until the bar closed and talked to him and his sister. Invited him to be part of our group.”

“Doesn’t he slow you down with his disability?”

Leo’s entire face tightened. “He’s considered high functioning and smarter than you think. He’s a person, just like you or me. He’s not an idiot,” he retorted.

“Of course not, I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. It’s just not every day you see an autistic guy in a band. You obviously care about him, and I can see why. He’s like a child,” I said quickly, wanting him to know that I wasn’t judging Teddy. “I’m just surprised that you chose him for your band. I’m sure he’s worth all the extra work.”

“He is. Not everyone’s perfect, you know,” he said, giving me as assessing look, like maybe he knew something I didn’t. “And, I wanted Sebastian to be around people who don’t have everything handed to them.”

“I’m not perfect. People think I am, but I’m not,” I admitted, needing him to know that I wasn’t the rich, spoiled girl he’d called me last night. In my life, things are never as they appeared.

He studied me. “Maybe I wouldn’t like you so much if you were,” he said, staring at my mouth. I licked my lips and stared right back, thrilled by the heat I thought I could see there. Did he feel the same connection I did, like we’d known each other our entire lives?

I nodded. “So, about Teddy. Is that what you meant by paying you back?” I said.

“Yeah, I remembered from the open house brochure that you were a pianist. I want you to work with him, help him learn some new music for the band.”

Me? Helping someone when I could barely survive myself? I shook my head. “I don’t know. I have a lot going on with school and debate. Wouldn’t it be easier just to let me write you a check for the damage? You’d never have to see me again,” I added.

“That won’t work for me. Teddy needs extra help. And I know you’re busy, but music heals. It helped me deal with my parents’ murder,” he said. “Maybe you need this. Maybe it’s better than therapy.”

I took a step back. “You think I need therapy?” I asked, not liking where this was going.

He scrubbed his jaw. “There’s something going on with you. I see the pain you carry. In your eyes, on your face, and in your actions. And I get it. I do. I don’t know what happened to you, but I think you’re dealing with some shitty things in your life.”

He would never know how shitty.

“Is that a polite way of saying I’m fucked up?”

He shot me an amused smirk. “Don’t be a bitch, Nora.”

I exhaled.

“I want to help you,” he said. “I see strength in you, too, Nora. I saw it when you talked about Paris last night. I heard the hope in your voice. Whatever is eating at you, you have to fight back and not let it win.”

I looked away from him because he had no clue. I wasn’t strong; I was a loser. A girl who’d stopped fighting back a long time ago. A girl who’d given in.

I had to change the topic. “So when’s the first gig?”

“It’s the gym’s grand opening party. We’re opening in six weeks, but I pushed the party out until Halloween,” he said. “Just watch today, but I’d like you to start practicing with us. I know school starts this week, so maybe after that settles down, we can put some real work in.”