Very Bad Things

I’d said she was too young, but maybe it wasn’t just the age difference. Because the more I got to know her, the more I saw that the age factor wasn’t the big deal I was making it out to be. Maybe it was a convenient excuse. A part of me knew that besides the age, I simply wasn’t good enough for her. I’d end up treating her like all the other girls I’d known. Like shit.

And I didn’t want to be part of her destruction. Just a number on her list.

My eyes were caught by a camera shop’s storefront, and it reminded me of Teddy. It was sometimes hard to tell how he felt about things, but I’d sensed he’d taken a liking to Nora. She needed something to keep her out of trouble, and maybe helping Teddy would be good for her.

I strolled inside the shop to check it out. Teddy’d mentioned his sister didn’t have much money to support his film habit, so I looked around and talked to the clerk some about what types of pictures Teddy took. I ended up spending about a hundred bucks on regular film plus some black and white. Knowing how Teddy loved to take pictures, he’d be thrilled with whatever I got because he wasn’t hard to please.

Part of why I’d taken to him so fast was that he and his sister had lost their parents at an early age just like me and Sebastian. Mostly, it was his enthusiasm for life that fascinated me, reminding me how easily we forget the little things we used to think about when we were younger, like a nice sunset or how great a song sounds the first time you hear it. Even though he had autism, he saw a whole lot more than I did.

When I got back to the gym, I hit it hard even though I’d just had a run at the park, hoping to rid my body of the frustration I’d been feeling, I lifted for an hour, concentrating on my arms, sweating Nora out of my head.

While I was working out, Sebastian came in the weight room, making a beeline for me. “You wanna tell me what that was at the park with Nora?” he snapped, like he was irritated.

I let the dumbbells fall to the floor, their clinking noise the only sound in the room. I didn’t know what to say to him. I’d been out of control in the park. The truth is, trying not to want her made me want her more.

“Leo? Dude, what’s wrong with you?” he asked. “I’ve never seen you get worked up over a girl.”

At least I could answer some of that question. “Nora made a list of bad things to do in her journal. I read it. When I asked her about it, she freaked out and got mad when I tried to tell her to stay away from Cuba.”

Sebastian’s brow wrinkled. “What did it say?”

“That she wants to drink, do drugs, and have random sex with multiple people,” I said, snarling a little on the last part.

“Ah,” he said, sitting down on the bench next to me, his annoyance at me gone.

“And I want to know why. Something’s off about her family.”

He nodded. “Her mom’s a piece of work.”

I agreed. “Look, here’s the thing. I want you to keep an eye on her. Check on her. Call her. Hang out with her. Make sure she’s not doing anything stupid,” I said, not meeting his eyes. I mean, I pretty much sounded like a stalker. Why did I fucking care so much about what happened to her? I’d only just met her.

He laughed out loud. “Dude, challenge accepted. She’s gorgeous. And I was planning on hanging with her anyway,” he said as he stood up to go.

He got to the door and turned back around, a serious look on his face. “Technically, she may be younger than you, but I think she’s had to grow up too fast, man. Just like you did.”

A FEW DAYS later, I did something I’d later regret. I called Nora to invite her over to the gym for an impromptu poolside get together with Teddy. The pool had been finished that week, and it seemed like a good opportunity to see if the spur-of-the-moment decision to ask to her to help him had been a good idea. I could already tell that Teddy liked her, but it was important for her to return the feeling. I didn’t know her well enough to judge yet, and I wanted to believe that she wasn’t just another entitled rich girl, but I needed to see her one more time.

That’s the only reason I invited her.

I heard the buzzer peal while we were at the pool. Teddy jumped up from his deck chair and ran over to mine, his Mickey Mouse swim shorts still wet from swimming. His sister had dropped him off with us about an hour earlier, and he’d been in the pool the entire time. He was a good swimmer and had only gotten out when he knew it was time for Nora to arrive.

“Nora’s here. Nora’s here,” he said, walking in circles, flapping his arms a little more than usual.

“You want to see her, Teddy?” I know I did, and I didn’t like it.

“She’s pretty. She plays piano like me,” he said, his voice rising up and down in a rhythm I’d gotten used to with him.

“Come on,” I said with a grin, “you can go with me to let her in.” I handed him a towel and pointed out his shoes. “Go get your flip-flops. I don’t want you slipping on the slick floor in the gym.”

He slipped his shoes on, and we went to the front door. She was waiting, wearing a breezy, white dress, looking fucking innocent. Yet, she wasn’t was she? She’d told me she’d been with other guys before, and I wondered how many. Fuck it. Why did it matter anyway?

I unlocked the door and let her in, noticing her slightly cool demeanor. Had I been too hard on her at the park? Maybe it was none of my business what she did with her life, including who she fucked. Yeah, I needed to let her live her life. She was nothing to me but a way for Teddy to expand his song selections and make our band better.