Very Bad Things

He didn’t want me; he felt sorry for me. He’d made it clear at the park. Leo was a guy with other fish to fry. I mean, why would he want a tiny, little popcorn shrimp like me when he could have a Texas-sized catfish like Tiffany? I rolled my eyes at myself. Why did I always think about food?

He picked up his glass and took a drink, freezing when his eyes collided with mine.

Mother was texting, so I arched my eyes at him and nodded surreptitiously towards the bar that was located conveniently inside a dark alcove. He followed my eyes and shook his head at me. Refusing to take no for an answer, I smiled, nibbling on my lips as I gazed at him beseechingly, but he looked away when one of his companions made a comment. Frustrated, I picked up my purse, not thinking about the dangerous game I was playing, not considering how shitty I’d feel when he didn’t meet me at the bar.

It had been days since I’d seen him. I didn’t understand where my need was coming from, but I couldn’t go another minute without talking to him.

“If you’ll excuse me, Mother, I have to go to the restroom.”

She waved her hands at me, still looking at her phone.

First, I purposely walked outside to the patio and strolled by his table, letting him know where I was going. Then I went to the bar and ordered a glass of water. And waited.

It took fifty-three seconds for him to appear beside me.

“Not drinking today?” he said in a low voice, sending delicious tingles all over my body. He settled himself beside me on a stool.

“No fake ID,” I said, putting my hand on his inner thigh and caressing the taut muscles there. “You seem tense. Is there anything I can do to help you relax?” I asked, my lips curving up.

He stared at my stroking hand and swallowed, but didn’t move away. “I just came over to see how you’re doing,” he said with a stone-like face, not giving anything away.

I scowled and pulled my hand back. “Why? Because you feel bad for the poor little rich girl with all the problems?”

He looked away from me.

I said, “Let’s go in the bathroom and fuck.”

He exhaled heavily and stood up from the stool.

“No?” I said, feeling all at once ashamed for the words coming out of my mouth, yet completely powerless to stop them. “You know, one of my favorite books has this sizzling, hot chapter where the main characters go to lunch together. And even though it’s a first date, they end up fucking in a bathroom stall, because they can’t wait to get at each other. He just bends her over and gives it to her, hard and fast. I’d like to reenact that scene.” I took a hasty sip of water and got my nerve up. “All we’d have to do is pick the biggest stall, and then you flip my dress up and take me from behind. Or I could get on my knees for you? I’d suck you, if you like.”

He paled and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You don’t want me, Nora. I’ll fuck you, and when I’m done, I’ll leave you.”

At the thought of him leaving me, all the air was taken out of me and a pain squeezed my heart so hard I thought I might cry out. “Well if not you, then someone else will do,” I said with a shrug, looking around the bar. “Who should I choose? There’s the young guy over there in the corner with the power suit and buzz cut who’s been trying to catch my eye since I sat down . . . although I think I see a wedding band on his hand. He’s out, I suppose. Even I have standards. And, there’s the fortyish-looking guy sitting across from me. He’s been staring at my breasts.” I smiled and waved at the gentleman in question, and he waved back, a hopeful look on his face. “Oh yeah, definitely interested.”

I opened my purse and pulled out a pen and wrote my name and number on a bar napkin. I pushed it over to Leo. “Do me a favor? Take this over to him and tell him what a great girl I am. How good I am. How you know I’m not really bad.” I stared at the bulge in his pants. “Maybe tell him how hard you get when I talk about fucking.”

He pulled me off the stool so quick I didn’t know what had happened until I was standing right next to him, both of our chests heaving and tempers flaring. “Go back to your damn table. No fucking today, Nora,” he bit out, eyes glowing with fire. Was it heat or disgust I saw? Whichever it was, I didn’t care.

I smiled and batted my lashes. “Tomorrow?”

He growled at me, and I thrilled at the sound, imagining him doing it while he made love to me. See, here’s the thing. This was a whole lot more than just wanting to do bad things. I couldn’t blame this anymore on wanting meaningless sex. No, this was all about him. About Leo. He sparked this insatiable, urgent need in me, one that I hadn’t quite wrapped my head around yet. I’d never felt more alive than when I was with him, even if we were antagonizing each other.

“Are you high?” he asked me, his eyes boring into mine.

I laughed. “God, no. This is all me,” I said bitterly. “I don’t need drugs to be a whore, Leo. I can do it all by myself.”

My young waiter appeared at my side, his eyes nervously jumping from Leo’s firm hand on my elbow to me and then back to Leo’s angry face, taking in the drama.

This was the most exciting lunch date with Mother I’d ever had.

“Miss Blakely, your mother asked me to look for you?” he said in his Italian accent.

I leaned in and kissed Leo’s cheek, inhaling his butterscotch and male scent. He held me against him for a moment, almost like he didn’t want to let me go, but then he pushed me back.