Very Bad Things

I tightened my arms around his waist, grinding myself against him. He hissed at the increased pressure and pushed me back against the sturdy bookshelf, picking me up and positioning me so his hips fit into my pelvis. He held me in place, rocking into me. Gasping at the feel of him, I lifted one of my legs, and he caught it and wrapped it around him. I clutched his ass and pulled him against me, my passion for him expanding, growing bigger and bigger as the room got hotter.

“Say my name,” he muttered gruffly as I sucked hard at his neck and then licked it. He grunted, and I dug my nails into his back as I kissed my way around his collarbone, sucking another spot.

“Say it, Nora. Say it,” he ordered me hoarsely, and more heat rushed to my center at his demand.

“Leo, Leo, Leo,” I pleaded, arching my back and pushing into him.

He shuddered. “Fucking love that,” he whispered and then placed his lips back on mine, dominating my mouth, like a man starved. All I could think about was him, him, him . . . his lips, his tongue, his taste, his butterscotch smell. I wanted all of him, and I’d never have him, and that thought made me frantic. I gripped him tighter, pushed my nails deeper, and kissed him harder. I never wanted his mouth to leave mine, not even for those little sweet kisses. I never wanted my tongue separated from his. I never wanted this moment to end.

“Want you so much. I’ve dreamed about making love to you a thousand times,” he whispered out, and the anguish I heard in his voice terrified me.

Leo! I loved him. Would it make a difference if I told him so? Would he suddenly give us a chance? I didn’t know the answers, but I knew this was everything; this was gut-wrenching love.

“Make me come, Leo,” I said desperately. He groaned and slipped his hand under my dress and shoved my panties to the side. Pushing his finger deep inside me, he kissed my neck feverishly as I trembled and tried to move underneath him, needing more. He pumped me fast, moving his fingers around, grinding me with little circles.

“Fuck, you’re wet,” he groaned into my ear, biting down on it.

His lips came back to my mouth, his tongue dueling with mine. “Come for me, baby.”

Heat gathered in my spine, in my legs, and in my core, and I panted out his name as I came, my body clenching his fingers, the waves hitting me and hitting me, feeling like nothing I’d ever had before.

“Leo,” I said weakly, gazing into his eyes.

He looked wrecked.

He tightened his arms around me and opened his mouth to say something, but the sound of approaching footsteps startled us. He reluctantly pulled away from me, and I slid down. We straightened our clothes.

An older couple walked by, glancing at us and smiling as they passed our aisle.

He rubbed his jaw. We stared at each other, and I saw the bleakness in his expression. I shook my head, feeling the finality of it in my bones. I wanted to howl; I wanted to scream. No, no, no. I could never say goodbye to him forever. Not yet and not here in this dusty room of old books.

Why didn’t he love me, too?

Why did they call it heartbreak, when it felt like my entire body was dying?

“Please, don’t be sad,” he said brokenly, looking as sick as I felt.

This is hell, I thought, living my life without my soulmate.

I closed my eyes to block out his face, the pain tearing into me so brutally I knew I’d never completely be over him. I’d given him my heart, and he’d given right back. I reached out and ran my fingers around his swollen lips. He kissed them lovingly.

“Maybe in the next life,” I whispered to him and walked back upstairs to Drew.

“As soon as forever is gone,

I’ll be over you.”

–Nora Blakely

WHEN I WOKE up the next day, I didn’t realize it would be one of the worst days of my life. As I drove to school, it seemed like a normal October morning, except it was a tad chilly for Texas. The weatherman had predicted a low of forty degrees tonight, plus a big meteor shower was supposed to streak through the sky around midnight. Strange things were brewing.

Drew and I made plans to hang out on the roof of the shop to watch, and after much thought, I’d also decided tonight was the night for us, the night I’d give myself to him.

After school, I’d gone to work at the gym and it was the usual: clients signing in, answering membership questions, handing out towels, and typing in the computer.

Practice was the same; Leo staring and me trying to ignore.

Everything changed the moment I walked across the darkened street to the shop, anxious to get inside and freshen up before Drew arrived.

I was headed straight to the front door, keys in hand, when I glanced over and saw a figure leaning against my car which was parked in the alley next to the shop. The street light was on the other side of the street, so I couldn’t see him clearly, but I knew who it was. I smiled, put my keys in my pocket, and walked toward him.

“Hey, you,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ears, knowing I looked a sweaty mess from practice, but was flattered he couldn’t wait to see me. “You’re not supposed to be here for another hour,” I chided.

“I’d wait forever for you, sis,” I heard him say as he stepped out of the shadows and into the dim moonlight. He grinned. “You were expecting someone else?”

My sheet music and purse slid to the ground as I stood there, rooted in fear. I peered wildly around the street, but it was deserted. No one was here to save me. My lungs burned for air, and I gasped out, forcing myself to take a breath. The voice inside my head screamed and screamed, urging me to run and hide, but I was immobile, not able to make my body obey the simple command.