The Novel Free

Warpaint





“What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyebrows scrunching together.



“Nothing,” I said, trying to brush off her concern, standing up and attempting to look interested at something in the distant trees.



“Is it something I said?”



“No, no, not at all. It’s nothing,” I said, looking back at her. “Really. Just forget it.”



“You can tell me, you know. I won’t tell anyone.”



How can I tell her that she’s the problem and only because she’s cute and I’m afraid Bodo will like her more than me? Or that I’m just a stupid idiot who doesn’t know how to act with a boyfriend?



“I promise. It’s nothing. See?” I grinned as hard as I could, trying to show her how happy I was.



“That’s kind of scary, actually,” she said, eyeing me warily.



“What? My smile?”



“Is that was that was?” She fake shuddered. “I thought it was your death stare.”



I reached down and slapped her arm. “Screw you.”



“So I’ll see you at dinner?” she asked, standing up and backing through the entrance into the other hut before turning around.



I smiled at the instincts that subconsciously told her not to turn her back on me. “Yeah, sure. See you then.” I watched her walk away, thinking about how ridiculous it was that Winky was impossible to hate when I wanted to dislike her so much.



I laid back down on the mattress, drifting off to sleep as I listened to the rhythmic vibrations of the cicadas’ song. I dreamed about losing Bodo to a tiny nut crusher of a girl and being alone in the swamp with only Peter and Buster to keep me company.



***



I woke to find both Peter and Bodo asleep beside me, each of them on their mattresses.



Buster saw that I was awake and immediately came over to start licking my arm. I tried pushing him away but his twisted poodle brain saw that as an invitation to play. He kept diving back in for more attention, fully focused on his lick attack. It made me wish I could bring him with me on our mission to go after the canners. Maybe I could train him to bite ankles. He’d be unstoppable.



“Quit, Buster!” I nudged Peter. “Peter, get your pink weasel away from me. He smells.”



Peter reached out with a sleepy arm to pull Buster in towards him, forcing him into a very close cuddle. Buster responded by turning his licking energies onto Peter’s face.



“Ugh, Buster, what did you eat for breakfast? Anchovies?” came Peter’s muffled voice.



I looked over at the entrance to the hut, and before I could even form a coherent thought in my brain, I screamed.



Bodo jumped up out of a sound sleep and rolled onto his knees, yelling,“Was zum Teufel?!”



I didn’t know whether to scream again or laugh at the ridiculous sounds that had just come out of Bodo’s mouth. My brain was short-circuiting as I stared at the gross thing in front of me.



“What?” asked Peter, sitting up, sounding scared to death. “Please tell me there aren’t any dead people over there.” His back was to the entrance of the hut and he stayed that way, almost as if refusing to turn around and face reality.



“No. Not a person, anyway.” I got up slowly and went over to the body lying on the ground at the entrance. I kicked it a little with my foot, just to be sure it wasn’t going anywhere.



“Be careful, Bryn,” warned Bodo. “Iss it dead?”



“Yeah.”



“What?!” yelled Peter.



“A snake,” explained Bodo. “A bigk one.”



“It’s not that big,” said Coli, walking over from out of the trees. She reached down and picked it up, letting it dangle down by her side as she continued. “You guys coming to lunch? We’re having a planning meeting for the recon mission and stuff.”



I eyed the snake in her hand. “What happened to its head?” It looked like it had been put down an automatic garbage disposal, head first.



Coli nodded at Buster. “My guess is your dog happened to it.”



I looked over in horror at Buster, whose mouth was open as he panted happily away, occasionally turning to lick Peter.



“Uh, Peter? Buster wasn’t eating anchovies … he was eating a frigging anaconda.”



“Gah!!” said Peter, shoving Buster off of him and jumping up. He rushed over to our pantry, pulled a bottle of water off the shelf, and poured it on his face and neck where Buster had recently been giving him a tongue bath, scrubbing frantically while looking at the snake hanging by Coli’s side. “That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.” He turned his ire on the dog. “Buster, what is wrong with you? Why would you eat its head of all things?”



“I think dat’s very smart.”



“Smart?” Peter turned on Bodo. “Smart? Are you kidding me?”



“No, dat’s not a joke. You don’t prefer dat he eat da snake’s butt do you? Dat wouldn’t be good for me. It’s da head dat does da biting.”



“No, I’m not suggesting Buster eat the snake’s butt. I’m just saying … chewing off its head …” He shuddered and didn’t continue.



“What are you going to do with it?” I asked Coli, almost hoping she wouldn’t answer me.



“We’ll eat it.”



“I was afraid you were going to say that.” I sighed. It made sense not to waste meat, but I was starting to seriously consider the idea of not asking any more questions of the cooking crew. My meals would probably taste better if I didn’t know exactly what I was eating.



“I’m not eating that. No way, no how,” said Peter.



“You already have. I mean, not this snake, but other ones just like it.” She smirked, looking at Buster. “Only they usually still have the head on them when I get them.”



Peter went still, the expression melting away to leave a stone mask in its place. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he said, before delicately walking away towards the outhouse with his head held high.



“Iss he gonna do a stress doodle or something?” asked Bodo, coming up to stand at my side.



I laughed a little, not sure I understood. “A stress doodle?”



“Yes. Dat’s when you doodle becausse you are so freaking out.”



Coli looked up at him. “Do you have any idea how much you sound like Arnold Schwarzenegger sometimes?”



“Yes. I haff been told dat I sound like him. But I don’t agree. He hass a very strong accent. Not like me.”



Coli’s expression told me she was wondering whether he was joking or not.



I patted Bodo on the arm. “Yep. Arnold had quite the accent, unlike our Bodo, who’s practically American-sounding.”



Bodo nodded his head and Coli rolled her eyes.



Now that my initial panic had worn off, I remembered Bodo yelling when he woke up. “What was that thing I heard you say when you got up?” I asked him.



“I don’t know. What was it?”



“It sounded like vahss zoom something.”



“Oh, dat’s da Cherman way of saying what da fuck.”



"Say it again.”



“Was zum Teufel.”



I tried it out. “Was zum Tohfel.”



“Hey, dat’s pretty good.” He smiled big, his eyes practically sparkling. “You only have a little accent. Maybe pretty soon you can speak Cherman with me.”



I laughed. “Maybe.”



Coli shook her head. “Whatever. Are you coming to lunch or what?”



“Yeah. Can we wait for Peter?” I asked.



“No. I’ll send someone for him in a few minutes. It’s better if you come now so the planning can start.”



I looked at Bodo and he shrugged, so we both followed an already retreating Coli through the trees to the ceremonial hut, eventually joining all the members of the team and a few extra people several minutes later. I wasn’t sure if the extras were there out of curiosity or because they were serving a purpose, but my mind lost track of trying to figure it out when I saw Coli walk over and put the mangled snake in a basket near the collection of food.



I leaned over and whispered near Bodo’s ear, “She’s not expecting anyone to eat that thing now, is she?”



“Maybe,” he said, eyeing her warily. “She’s a little bit crazy, dat one. I bet she bites da heads off snakes for fun.”



I smiled. “Seriously.” I didn’t think that Coli was crazy crazy - maybe just a little overly angry, which made her seem a bit unhinged. I could see her biting off the head of a snake that pissed her off.



Kowi came over with Trip. “Hey. Thanks for coming. What’s up with the snake?”



“Yeah. Did Coli bite the head off it, or what?” asked Trip, grinning devilishly.



I smiled at how he’d read my mind, and he winked at me in response.



Kowi shoved him, but Trip barely moved with the force of it, his upper body swaying only slightly to the side.



“No. Buster did,” I explained.



Kowi nodded his head slowly. “Nice. You brought a hunting poodle with you.”



I laughed. “He’s no hunting poodle. He probably found the thing dead.”



“Nah,” said Trip, shaking his head. “It’s a fresh kill.”



“How do you know?” I asked, doubting him instantly. He was like one of those know-it-alls I just wanted to be wrong sometimes.



“It’s not stiff, and I didn’t see any signs of decomp. No smell.”



“Pfft. You missed Buster’s breath.”



“Your dog had that breath when he came here,” said Trip, moving away to join a group of guys standing off to the side.



“How would he know what Buster’s breath smells like, anyway?” I said, almost feeling insulted for my poor, pink, spaz-attack of a dog.



“He plays with Buster all the time. Haven’t you noticed?” asked Kowi.



“No.” I wasn’t sure I believed him. I couldn’t picture the big, tough Trip playing with little, goofy Buster. No way.



“Oh, yeah. He feeds Buster crap all the time. You didn’t notice your dog goes right to Trip every time you guys come around?”



I shook my head. That’s weird. I should have seen that. It made me worry about all the other little things I might have missed that could be important. Who Buster spent his time with didn’t matter to me one bit, but who other people spent time with did. Alliances and vendettas could spell big trouble for us in the future. I resolved to pay closer attention, beginning today at this meeting.



Just as I thought that, Coli caught my eye, walking over to a girl and talk to her in low tones. The girl disappeared into the trees, heading off in the direction we had just come from. I hoped that meant Coli was following through on her promise to get Peter and bring him over.



Bodo and I wandered over to the food to fill our plates. I eyed the meat suspiciously, but it didn’t look like snake, so I took a piece.



Once Bodo was finished filling his plate with about five pounds of food, we sat down next to each other over in a corner. Winky soon joined us, sitting on the other side of Bodo. He smiled and greeted her, making me feel instantly sick to my stomach.



I looked down at my food and set it off to the side, my appetite suddenly gone. I caught myself glaring at Winky and forced myself to stop before anyone saw me. This is totally stupid. Winky is not after Bodo.



I looked up and caught Paci staring at me curiously. Crap. All I need to do is start drama with these people. That’d be the fastest way to get kicked out. Just relax, Bryn, relax. Bodo likes you. He’s said it a million times.



I kept talking to myself for about five minutes, but as much as I tried to convince myself I had nothing to worry about, I couldn’t help but move away from Bodo the slightest bit. Maybe I should have moved closer, but I just kept thinking that if he preferred her over me, I wasn’t going to do anything but walk away. I couldn’t afford to get all girly emotional over the situation, not matter how much it would hurt.
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