For a while, Christie believed she’d found that same kind of happiness with James Wilbur, but as was so often the case, she’d been wrong. He was like every other man she’d ever cared about—only it’d taken him a bit longer to reveal his true nature.
As if her sister had been reading her thoughts, Teri glanced speculatively at Christie. “James—”
“Don’t even start,” Christie warned. Teri seemed convinced that Christie could be as fortunate, as contented, as she was; Christie knew better. She poured the herbal tea, and handed Teri a cup.
Her sister gratefully accepted it. “You can’t ignore James forever.”
“Who says I can’t?” She crossed one leg over the other and swung her foot to hide her nervousness.
Teri’s eyes grew sad. “You love him and you know it. I had no idea you could be so stubborn.”
“Sure you did,” Christie returned, remembering their youth. Her sister was more familiar with her character flaws than anyone. “You want to defend James and that’s your choice, but I’ve made my decision.”
“James loves you!”
“Sure he does. That’s why he walked out on me.”
“He panicked,” Teri said, defending him. “It had nothing to do with you.”
“Uh-huh.” That just proved her point; when he was in trouble, when he’d needed help, it hadn’t occurred to him to confide in her—the woman he supposedly loved.
But Christie didn’t want to argue with her sister. They’d done enough of that through the years. “Would you mind if we didn’t discuss James?” she asked instead.
One look told her how disappointed Teri was.
“Let me tell you about my classes,” Christie said. To her own surprise she liked her courses. The photography was an interesting challenge, and she’d mastered the basics. She’d been working with a camera provided by the school but planned to buy her own. She’d met Jon Bowman, Grace Sherman’s son-in-law, once or twice; maybe he’d be willing to recommend a digital camera. And since she was starting her own business, she knew she needed some accounting skills. To her delight, she’d discovered that she thoroughly enjoyed the classes and had no problem with the homework.
Even as a kid Christie had always had a head for math. She never had difficulty remembering phone numbers after hearing them only once or twice. Her skill with figures was one of the reasons she’d made cashier at Wal-Mart. Balancing her bank account had never been a problem, either—especially since her balance generally hovered around zero.
“You sent back his Valentine gift.” She paused. “The flowers were gorgeous—I know because he ended up giving them to me.”
Christie forcefully expelled her breath. “Are you back to James again?”
Teri’s gaze pleaded with hers. “Explain it to me.”
“Explain what?”
“Why you’re so unforgiving. Why can’t you accept the fact that once the news story broke, James felt he had no option but to run. Surely you can put yourself in his position.”
“No,” she snapped. “I can’t.”
“I don’t believe that,” Teri said. “Poor James, he—”
“He walked out on you and Bobby, and he walked out on me, just like every other man I’ve ever loved.”
“Christie, you’ve got to know James isn’t like anyone else. He’s James. His childhood was hell. His parents drove him to mental collapse, to the point that he ended up in a psych ward. Once it was obvious that he couldn’t play chess anymore, they turned their backs on him—their own son! If it wasn’t for Bobby, I don’t know what would’ve happened to him.”
“He doesn’t seem all that grateful to Bobby—or at least that’s how it looks from where I’m sitting,” Christie said. “When Bobby needed him, James left.”
“You mean when you needed him, James left.”
“Yes,” she flared. “I thought James was different. I thought I could trust him. What an idiot I was.”
“He came back because of you,” Teri said quietly.
“Too bad. I’m not interested.”
Teri pretended not to hear. “James realized it didn’t matter what kind of ugly sensationalism that reporter put out there. He decided to stop hiding.”
She paused as though she expected Christie to appreciate how hard it’d been for James to confront his past. Okay, Christie could understand his fears; still, that didn’t justify the way he’d abandoned her.
“Can’t you imagine what it must have been like for him?” Teri asked rhetorically. “He’s stayed in the shadows all these years and then to be thrust into the limelight without his knowledge or consent. It was his worst nightmare. Instinct took over, and he ran. Who’s to say what either of us would’ve done in the same situation? But once his head cleared, he came back, and the first person he asked to see was you.”
Christie’s resolve remained unchanged. “I learned something important about myself through all of this,” she said. “I don’t need a man.” It’d been a liberating insight. After each breakup, she’d instantly gone in search of a new relationship, afraid to be alone. Afraid that on her own she hadn’t been enough. All those associations had been with a certain type—drunks, drug addicts, assorted losers. Men she felt she could rescue with sufficient love, sympathy and understanding. Not to mention money…
In the dark, lonely hours after James’s defection, Christie had arrived at some conclusions. First, she was good enough—and no man would ever make her feel whole or complete. That had to come from within herself. Second, she had an excessive need to be needed. She recognized that about herself now and wasn’t about to fall back into the same patterns.
While she enjoyed her job, she wanted more. With her photography and business classes, Christie was going to establish a career. Initially, she’d take photographic assignments on her off-hours, while she still had the protection of a steady paycheck. No matter how long it took, she wasn’t about to let a man, any man, ruin her chances or stand in her way.
“I know you’re feeling hurt,” Teri said, “but I wish you’d give James another chance.”