A Great and Terrible Beauty

"She's not my friend," I say.



He arches an eyebrow. "Who are your friends, then?"



I open my mouth but nothing comes out.



He smirks. "May I go now?"



"Not yet." It's bold of me when I don't feel bold at all. But I need more information from him. "Who is the 'we' that you mentioned? Why are they afraid of my visions?"



"I don't have to tell you anything."



I hate him, standing in my room as if he owns it and me, issuing warnings and insults, sharing nothing. "Shall I tell you what happens if I scream bloody murder right this minute and you're caught as a thief?" It's the wrong thing to say. Lightning fast, he's got me pinned against the wall, his arm to my throat.



"Do you think you can stop me? I am Rakshana. Our brotherhood has existed for centuries, stretching to the time of the Knights Templar, Arthur, and Charlemagne. We are the guardians of the realms now, and we have no intention of giving it back. The time of the old ways is past. We won't let you bring it back."



The pressure of his arm makes me feel dizzy . "II don't understand."



"You could change everything. Enter the realms. That's why they want you." He loosens his hold, lets me go.



My eyes water. I rub at my throat. "Who? Who wants me?"



"The Order." He spits out the name. "Circe."



Circe. That was the name Kartik's brother told my mother in the marketplace.



"I don't understand all these names. Who are the Rakshana, the Order, Circe"



He cuts me off. "You only need to know what I tell you, and that is to stop these visions before they lead you into danger."



"What if I told you my mother came to me today in a vision?"



"I don't believe you," Kartik says, but his face drains of color.



"She left me this." I pull out the fabric I've kept tucked near my heart. He stares at it. "I saw your brother there, too."



"You saw Amar?" "Yes. He was in some sort of frozen wasteland"



His voice is quiet but harsh. "Stop it."



"Do you know that place? Is that where my mother is?"



"I said stop it!"



"But what if they're trying to reach me through these visions? Why else would she leave me this?" I hold out the blue silk.



"This proves nothing!" he says, holding my arms tightly. "Listen to me: That was not my brother or your mother you saw, understand? It was just an illusion. You must put it out of your mind."



Put it out of my mind? It's the only thing I'm living for. "I think she was trying to tell me something."



He shakes his head. "It's not real."



"How do you know that?"



His words are sharp and deliberate. "Because this is what Circe and the Order dothey'll use any trickery they have to get what they want. Your mother and my brother are dead. They killed them to get to you. Remember that the next time you are tempted by those visions, Miss Doyle." There's pity in his eyes. It's harder to bear than his hatred. "The realms must stay closed, Miss Doyle. For all our sakes."



I'm responsible for their deaths. He's all but said it out loud. He won't help me. There's no use trying. The muffled drone of girls drifts up from below. They'll be coming up any moment. But there's one thing more I need to know.



"What about Mary Dowd?" I say, waiting to see what he knows about her.



"Who is Mary Dowd?" he says, distracted by the soft thud of feet on stairs. He doesn't know. Whoever he works for, they don't trust him with everything.



"My friend. You did ask me if I had any friends, didn't you?"



"So I did." There are footsteps on the landing. He pushes me aside and like a cat, he's over the sill and out through the window. I can see the knotted rope he's secured to the wall through a loop in a small railing. It's nestled into a thick patch of ivy, making it hard to see if you're not looking for it. Clever, but not infallible. And neither is he.



Closing the window behind him, I put my mouth up to the windowpane, watch my breath fog it over with each quiet word. "You may give the Rakshana a message for me, Kartik the messenger. That was my mother in the woods today. And I'm going to find her whether you help me or not."



CHAPTER TWELVE



The next afternoon is blustery and gray, but Miss Moore still makes good on her promise to take us to the caves. It's a solid hike through the trees, beyond the boat' house and the lake, and along a deep ravine. Ann trips on the slope's crumbling wall and nearly tumbles into it.