A Great and Terrible Beauty

Felicity gives a cruel laugh. "She'll send for me when I graduate. I'll go to Paris and have my portrait painted by a famous artist. And then you'll be sorry for doubting me."



"You still think she's going to send for you? How many times have you seen her since you've been here? I shall tell younone."



Felicity's eyes shine with hate. "She will send for me."



"She couldn't even be bothered to send anything for your birthday."



"I hate you."



There is a chorus of embarrassed gasps from the goody-girls. To my surprise, Pippa goes soft and quiet. "It's not me you hate, Fee. It's not me."



Mrs. Nightwing bustles in again. She reads the trouble in the room like a change in the weather. "What's going on here?"



"Nothing," we all say at once, moving away from each other, each one of us studying our own patch of floor.



"Then let's continue." She drops the arm on the phonograph. Felicity grabs for Ann's hand, and Pippa and I settle in. She's the man this time, slipping her arm around my waist, taking my left hand in her right. We waltz near the windows, putting space between us and Ann and Felicity.



"I've made an awful mess of things," Pippa says, miserably. "We used to get on so well. We did everything together. But that was before" She trails off. We both know how the sentence ends: before you came along.



She's just gone and ruined Felicity and now she wants my sympathy in the bargain. "I'm sure you'll be thick as thieves again tomorrow, and this will all be forgotten," I say, twirling a bit harder than I need to.



"No. It's all different now. She asks you before she asks me. I've been replaced."



"You have not," I say, with a contemptuous half-laugh, because I'm a terrible liar when it really counts.



"Be careful she doesn't get bored with you next. It's a long way to fall."



Mrs. Nightwing counts loudly over the music, correcting our steps, our posture, our every thought before we even have it. Pippa is moving me across the floor and I wonder if Kartik ever imagines what it would be like to hold her in his arms. Pippa has no idea of the effect she has on men, and I wish I could experience having that power just once. How I'd love to get away from here and be someone else for a while in a place where no one knows or expects certain things from me.



What happens next is not my fault. At least, I don't mean to do it. The need to run has somehow taken over. The familiar tingling is back, pulling me down deep before I can get control of it. But it's different this time. I'm not simply falling, I'm moving! I'm stepping across a shimmering threshold into a misty forest. Suspended there for a moment, between two worlds, I catch sight of Pippa's face. It's pale. Confused. Scared. And I realize she's coming too.



Dear God, what's happening? Where am I? How did she get here? I've got to stop it, can't let her jail with me.



I close my eyes and fight against the overwhelming tide of my vision with everything I've got. But it's not enough to keep me from seeing small flashes. Dark on the horizon. Splashing. And the sound of Pippa's strangled, watery scream.



We're back. I'm panting hard, still holding Pippa's hand in a death grip. Did she see anything? Does she know my secret now? She's not talking. Her eyes roll up into her head. The whites of them a fluttering of wings.



"Pippa?" My voice has enough panic in it to alert Mrs. Nightwing. She runs toward us as Pippa's whole body stiffens. Her arm knocks me hard in the mouth as it flies back toward her chest. I can taste blood on my lip, all coppery hot. With a high keening sound, Pippa falls to the floor, her body writhing and jerking in what seems like agony.



Pippa is dying. What have I done to her?



Mrs. Nightwing grabs Pippa's shoulders, pins her to the floor. "Ann, bring me a wooden spoon from the kitchen! Cecily, Elizabeth, fetch one of the teachers at once! Go--now!" To me she barks, "Hold her head still."



Pippa's head thrashes in my hands. Pippa, I'm so very sorry. Please forgive me .



"Help me turn her," Mrs. Nightwing says. "She mustn't bite her tongue."



With effort, we turn her on her side. For a dainty creature, she is surprisingly solid. Brigid pushes into the ballroom and lets out with a cry.



Mrs. Nightwing barks out orders like a decorated commander. "Brigid! Send for Dr. Thomas at once! Miss Moore, if you would, please," Brigid scurries out as Miss Moore rushes in, spoon in hand. She shoves it into Pippa's gurgling mouth as if she means to choke her with it.