A Great and Terrible Beauty

I stare into my custard dish.



"How did the fire happen?" Cecily asks. "It was a foolish accident. The girls took a candle to the East Wing. It was after they should have been in bed. We shall never know why they went. Probably one of their fanciful adventures." Mrs. Nightwing sips from her cup for a moment, lost. "The candle caught on a drapery, I suppose, and spread quickly. Mrs. Spence must have rushed in to help them, the door slammed shut behind her" She trails off, staring into her tea as if it might help her. "I couldn't get it open, you see. It was as if something heavy was holding it fast. I suppose we should count ourselves very lucky. The entire school might have gone up in flames."



It's quiet except for the clatter of dishes in Brigid's hands.



Ann barges in. "Is it true that Sarah and Mary were involved with something supernatural?"



A dish crashes to the floor. Brigid is on hands and knees, sweeping the pieces into her apron. "Sorry, Missus Nightwing. I'll just get a broom."



Mrs. Nightwing fixes Ann with a glare. "Wherever did you hear such a scurrilous rumor?"



I stir my tea with a concentration particular to nuns at prayer. Blast Ann and her stupidity.



"We read" Ann is interrupted by my swift kick to her leg. "I-I c-c-can't rem-m-member."



"Nonsense! If someone has been telling you such tales, I should know at once"



Felicity is on top of the game. "I am relieved to hear it isn't true and that Spence's refutation is above reproach. What a terrible accident." She glares at Ann when she says accident .



"I do not believe in the supernatural in the slightest," Mrs. Nightwing sniffs, straightening her spine and pushing away from the table. "But I do believe in the power of young girls' minds to conjure all sorts of hobgoblins that have nothing to do with the occult and everything to do with very real mischief. So, I'll ask you againhas someone been filling your head with nonsense about magic and whatnot? Because I won't stand for it."



I'm sure she can hear the hammering of my heart across the table as we all swear our innocence on the topic. Mrs. Nightwing stands.



"If I find out otherwise, I shall punish those responsible severely. Now, it's been a long day. Let's all say good night."



We promise to turn in when we've finished, and Mrs. Nightwing retreats to make her nightly pronouncement in the great hall that it is time for bed.



"Were you dropped on your head as a child?" Felicity snaps at Ann the moment Mrs. Nightwing has left us.



"S-s-sorry," she stammers. "Why didn't you want her to know about the book?"



"And have her confiscate it? I think not." Felicity sneers.



Brigid bustles back in, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "You seem on edge tonight, Brigid," Felicity says.



"Aye," she says, sweeping crumbs from the table. "Talking about those two is enough to give anyone the chills. I remember 'em, all right, and they wasn't the saints the missus makes 'em out to be."



If you want to know something about a household, ask the servants. That's what my father used to say. I offer Brigid a seat next to me. "You should rest for a moment, Brigid. It'll do you good."



"Don't mind if I do. Oooh, my feet."



"Tell us about them. The truth" Ann says.



A low whistling sound escapes from Brigid's mouth. "They was wicked girls. Especially that Sarah. Very cheeky she was. I was young thennot bad-lookin' m'self. Had plen'y of suitors who come for me on Sundays for the walk to church. Always went to church, rain or snow or shine, I did."



Brigid is unraveling. We could be here all night listening to tales of her piety.



"And the girls?" I prompt.



Brigid fixes me with a stare. "Getting to it, ain't I? As I was saying, I'd go to church on Sundays. But one Sunday, Missus Spence, who was the Good Lord's angel on m' right hand, Missus Spence asks me would I stay and look after young Sarah, who's feeling poorly. This would be about a week before the fire." She stops, coughs for effect. "It's hard to talk, m' throat bein' so dry."



Dutifully Ann brings her a cup of tea.



"Oh, that's a good girl. Now, I'm only tellin' you wot I know as a lesson. And it don't go no further than these four walls. Swear it."



We fall all over ourselves swearing, and Brigid picks up where she left off, happy to beholding court.



"Mind you, I wasn't happy about staying. M' regular suitor, Paulie, was to call for me and I had a new bonnet besides, but I knew m' duty. You'll learn that soon enough, Miss Ann, once you've secured a position."