A Great and Terrible Beauty

"Wot's that, eh?" She grabs tight to my sleeve.



There's movement in the trees. The mist is crawling. They start to come out, one by one, till there are twenty or more. The dead. Hollow-eyed. Pale-lipped. Skin stretched shiny-tight over bone. A woman in rags carries a baby at her breast. She's dripping wet and strings of slick, green vegetation hang twisted in her hair. Two men stagger forward, arms outstretched. I can see the rounded knob of bone where their hands have been chopped clean off. They keep coming, their mouths all making the same hideous murmur.



"Come to us. You've come to us."



Madame Romanoff is shrieking and practically climbing up my side. "Wot the 'ell's goin' on 'ere? Sweet Jesus, get me out of 'ere. Please! I'll never con nobody no more, on me mother's grave I won't." "Stop," I say, holding out my hand. Surprisingly, it works. "Which one of you is Sarah Rees- Toome?"



None of the spirits come forward.



"Is there one among you by that name?"



Nothing.



"Tell them to go away," Madame Romanoff says. She grabs a tree limb from the ground and swings it wildly in front of her, warding them off and grunting in fear. Through the trees, I see her. The blue silk of her dress. I hear the warm amber of her laugh.



Find me if you can, love.



I grab Madame Romanoff by the shoulders. "What's your name? Your real name."



"Sally," she says, hoarse with fear. "Sally Carny."



"Sally, listen carefully to me. I've got to leave you for a moment, but I'll be right back. You'll be all right."



"No! Don't you leave me 'ere wif them, you li'l slut, or I'll carve your creepy green eyes out when we get back! You see if I don't, now!"



She's screaming, but I'm already running through the trees, the hope of blue just ahead of me, always out of reach, and then I'm in the ruin of a temple. A Buddha sits cross-legged on an altar surrounded by candles. It's peaceful here. There's no sound save for the cooing of birds. No fear. I let my fingertips flutter against the orange-blue flame of the candles but I feel no heat or pain. A soft scent of lilies floats through the open door. I wish I could see those flowers of my childhood, of my mother and India, and then suddenly, they're everywhere. The room is filled with blooming white flowers. I made it happen with just my thoughts . It's so beautiful, I could stay here forever.



"Mother?" My voice comes out small and hopeful.



The room grows brighter. I can't see her, but I can hear her. "Gemma"



"Mother, where are you?"



"I cannot show myself here or stay for long. These woods may not be safe. There are spies everywhere."



I don't know what she means. I still cannot grasp that I am here. That she is here.



"Mother, what's happening to me?"



"Gemma, you have great powers, my love."



Her voice reverberates in the temple. My love, love, love ... My throat tightens. "I don't understand it. I can't control any of it."



"You will, in time. But you must use your power, work with it, else it will wither on the vine, die, and then there's no getting it back. You have a great destiny, Gemma, if you choose it."



The organ-grinder's monkey appears. He sits on the Buddha's rounded shoulder, turning his head this way and that, watching me.



"There are people who don't want me to use what I have. I've been warned."



Mother's voice is calm, knowing. "The Rakshana. They're afraid of you. They are afraid of what could happen if you fail, and more afraid of the power you'll have should you succeed."



"Succeed in what?"



"Bringing back the magic of the realms. You are the link to the Order. Their magic lives in you, my love. You are the sign they've been waiting for all these years. But there is also danger. She wants your power too, and she won't stop looking till she finds you."



"Who?"



"Circe." Circe. Circe. Circe .



"Who is she? Where can I find her?"



"All in good time, Gemma. She is too powerful for you to face yet."



"But" Tears stop me. "She murdered you."



"Do not lose yourself to revenge, Gemma. Circe has chosen her path. You must choose yours."



"How do you know all of this?"



The edges of the lilies start to turn. They brown and curl under, leaves dropping to the stone floor.



"Our time is up. It's no longer safe for you to stay. Go back now."