A Mother's Wish

“Stop!” she screamed. “Stop!”



Cole slammed on the brakes, catapulting them forward. “Robin, what is it?”



Robin threw open the front door and leapt out of the car, running to the middle of the road. She stared at the one word on the sign even as the tears filled her eyes.



Cole’s farm was named Paradise.



Eleven



“Robin, I don’t understand,” Cole said for the third time, his dark eyes worried.



“I bet my allowance she’s crying again,” Jeff muttered, poking his head out the side window. “Something weird’s going on with my mother. She’s been acting goofy all day. Why do you think it is?”



“I’m not really sure,” Cole said as he continued to study Robin.



For her part, Robin couldn’t take her eyes off the sign. Jeff was right about her crying; the tears streamed unrestrained down her face. But these were tears of joy. Tears of gratitude. Tears of acknowledgment. It was exactly as Cole had described. She’d reached up and God had reached down and together they’d come to an understanding. She’d finally resolved her dilemma.



Unable to stop herself, Robin hurled her arms around Cole’s neck. Her hands roamed his face. His wonderful, wonderful face.



Because her eyes were blurred with emotion, she couldn’t accurately read Cole’s expression, but it didn’t matter. Her heart spilled over with love for him.



“Robin … “



She didn’t let him finish, but began spreading a long series of kisses across his face, starting with his eyelids. “I love you, I love you,” she repeated between kisses, moving from his cheek to his nose and downward.



Cole put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Robin was half-aware of the car door slamming and Jeff marching up the road to join them.



“Are you two getting all mushy on me again?”



Robin barely heard her son. Her mouth had unerringly found Cole’s.



The unexpected sharp sound of a hand clap brought her out of her dream world. The kiss ended, and her eyes immediately went to Jeff, who was looking very much like a pint-size adult. His face and eyes were stern.



“Do the two of you know where you’re standing?” Jeff demanded as though he’d recently been hired by the state police to make sure this type of thing didn’t happen. “There are proper places to kiss, but the middle of the road isn’t one of them.”



“He’s right,” Cole said, his eyes devouring Robin. He clearly didn’t want to release her and did so with a reluctance that tugged at her heart.



“Come with me,” Jeff said, taking his mother by the hand and leading her back to the car. He paused in front of the door and frowned. “Maybe she has a fever.”



“Robin,” Cole said, grasping her hand, “can you explain now?”



She nodded. “It’s the sign—Paradise. Tell me about it. Tell me why your grandfather named his place Paradise.”



“I’m not sure,” Cole said, puzzled. “He lived here his whole life and always said this land was all he’d ever needed. From what I remember, he once told me he thought of this place as the Garden of Eden. I can only assume that’s why he named it Paradise.”



Robin nodded, unsurprised by his explanation. “When Lenny and I were first married, we talked … we dreamed about someday buying some land and raising animals. Enough land for Jeff to have a pony and for me to have a huge garden. We decided this land would be our own piece of heaven on earth and … from that we came up with the idea of naming it Paradise.”



Cole shook his head slowly, and she could tell he didn’t completely understand.



“This afternoon, when I was standing on Fisherman’s Wharf, you suggested I talk over my feelings about our getting married with Lenny.”



“What I suggested,” Cole reminded her, “was that you imagine what he’d say to advise you. I certainly didn’t expect you to really communicate with him.”



“I know this won’t make any sense to you, but I’ve talked to Lenny lots of times over the years. This afternoon, what hit me so hard was the fact that Lenny would never answer me. That realization was what finally forced me to deal with the pain. To forgive Lenny for dying.”



Jeff was looking at her in confusion, his mouth open and eyes wide.



“Here you were wanting to marry me and I didn’t know what to do. I had trouble believing your proposal was prompted by anything more than the desire to replace the family you’d lost. I do love you, and I desperately wanted to believe you loved me—and Jeff. But I wasn’t sure ….”



“And you’re sure now?”



She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes. With all my heart, I’m confident that marrying you would be the right thing for all of us.”



“Of course we’re going to marry Cole!” Jeff cried. “Good grief, all you had to do was ask me and I would’ve told you. We belong together.”



“Yes, we do, don’t we?” Robin whispered. “Cole,” she said, taking both his hands with her own. “I’d consider it a very great honor to become your wife.”



“Jeff?” Cole said, tearing his eyes away from Robin.



The boy’s face shone and his eyes sparkled. “I’d consider it a very great honor to become your son.”



Cole brushed his lips across Robin’s and then reached for Jeff, hauling him into his arms and squeezing him tight. Blackie started barking then, wanting out of the car. Robin quickly moved to open the passenger door, and the black Lab leapt out. She crouched down and wrapped her arms around his thick neck, hugging him. “You’re going to have a whole family now, Blackie,” she said happily.



Two hours later, just at dusk, Robin was standing in the middle of the yard. She’d loved everything about Paradise, just as she’d known she would. The house and property were nothing like the place she and Lenny had dreamed about, but she hadn’t expected them to be. The four-bedroom house was much larger than anything they’d ever hoped to own. The land was covered with Ponderosa pine, and the rocky ground was more suitable to grazing a few sheep or cattle than planting crops.



Cole was showing Jeff the barn, and Robin had intended to join them, but the evening was redolent with a sweet-smelling breeze and she’d stopped to breathe in the fresh cool air. She folded her arms and stood there, smiling into the clear sky. A multitude of twinkling stars were just beginning to reveal themselves.



Cole walked quietly up behind her, and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. “Have I told you how much I love you?”



“In the last fifteen minutes? No, you haven’t.”



“Then allow me to correct that situation.” He nibbled the back of her neck gently. “I love you to distraction.”



“I love you, too.”



He sighed then and whispered hoarsely, “It was a difficult decision to marry me, wasn’t it?”



Robin agreed with a nod.



“Had I given you so many reasons to doubt me?”



“No,” she said quickly, turning in his arms. She pressed her palms against his jaw. “I had to be sure in my heart that you weren’t trying to replace the son you’d lost with Jeff. And I had to be equally certain you loved me for myself and not because I was Jeff’s mother and we came as a package deal.”



He shook his head decisively. “Jeff’s a great kid, don’t get me wrong, but there’s never been any question in my mind about how I felt. The first time we met, you hit me square between the eyes. I didn’t mean to fall in love again. I didn’t even want to.”



“I don’t think I did, either,” Robin confessed.



“Past experience taught us both that loving someone only causes pain. I loved Jennifer, but I could never make her happy. When we divorced I accepted my role in the breakup.”



“But she had a drinking problem, Cole. You can’t blame yourself.”



“I don’t, not entirely, but I accept a portion of the blame for what went wrong. It tore me apart to see Bobby caught in the middle, and in an effort to minimize the pain I didn’t fight for custody. He was an innocent victim of the divorce, and I didn’t want him to suffer any further distress. I was willing to do anything I could to spare him. Later, when I realized how serious Jennifer’s problem with alcohol had become, I tried to obtain custody, but before I could get the courts to move on it, the accident happened. Afterward, I was left facing the guilt of having waited too long.



“The thought of ever marrying again, having children again, terrified me. I couldn’t imagine making myself vulnerable a second time.” He paused, and a slow, gentle smile spread across his face, smoothing away the tension. “All of that changed when I met you. It was as if life was offering me another chance. And I knew I had to grab hold of it with both hands or live with regret forever.”



“Oh, brother,” Jeff said as he dashed into the yard. “Are you two at it again?”



“We’re talking,” Robin explained.



“Your mouths are too close together for talking.” He strolled past them, Blackie trotting at his side. “I don’t suppose you thought about making me anything to eat, did you, Mom?”



“I made sandwiches.”



“Great. Are there enough for Blackie to have one?”



“I think so. There’s juice and some corn chips in the kitchen, too.”



“Great,” Jeff repeated, hurrying into the house.



“Are you hungry?” Robin asked Cole.



“Yes,” he stated emphatically, “but my appetite doesn’t seem to be for food. How long will you keep me waiting to make you my wife?”



“I’ll have to call my parents and my brother so we can arrange everything. It’s important to me that we have a church wedding. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but I’d like to invite a handful of good friends and—”



“How long?”



“To make the arrangements? I’m not sure. Three, possibly four months to do it properly.”



“One month,” Cole said.



“What do you mean, one month?”



“I’m giving you exactly thirty days to arrange whatever you want, but that’s as long as I’m willing to wait.”



“Cole—”



He swept her into his arms then and his mouth claimed hers in a fury of desire. Robin found herself trembling and she clutched his shirt, her fingers bunching the material as she strove to regain her equilibrium.



“Cole …” She felt chilled and feverish at the same time. Needy, yet wealthy beyond her wildest dreams.



“One month?” he repeated.



“One month,” she agreed, pressing her face against his broad warm chest. They’d both loved, profoundly, and lost what they’d valued most. For years, in their own ways, they’d sealed themselves off from others, because no one else could understand their pain. Then they’d discovered each other, and nothing would ever be the same again. Their love was the mature love that came when one had suffered and lost and been left to rebuild a shattered life. A love that was stronger than either could have hoped for.