All I Want

No.

No.

No.

Jesus. Fuck, no.

There are absolutely zero good-looking men at this thing besides Reed, who disappeared an hour ago with some giggly brunette, and the man I refuse to acknowledge. Weddings are supposed to be a breeding ground for nameless hook-ups, and I’m shit-out-of-luck at this one. So, instead of getting drilled in a concealed corner somewhere, my dress bunched around my waist as a stranger becomes familiar with my sounds, I’m having to find other ways to pass the time.

Eat cake.

Hit up the open bar.

Eat more cake.

Dance with Nolan.

Get cake with Nolan.

Steal Mia away from Ben.

Watch Mia get carried off by Ben.

And now this.

Sitting at an empty table, watching as Ben, Mia, and Nolan all slow dance together. Nolan’s in between them, rubbing Mia’s growing baby bump, while Ben can’t seem to keep his eyes off his new wife. I’m crazy happy for them, but right now, I can’t watch them share another perfect family moment in front of me. I need a break from this. Just a few minutes to get some air.

I step out of the tent and head across the lawn toward the Estate House. I’m walking aimlessly, not having any destination in mind. I need to get away from all the love for a second. Love is great when you’re with someone. It’s better when it’s reciprocated. But it fucking sucks when that shit is one-sided.

And that’s the only way I’ve known it.

I walk down the side of the building and turn right to go around the back. As soon as I round the corner, I see him.

He’s leaning against the building behind some shrubs, head back, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. His sandy-brown hair is cut shorter than normal, almost buzzed completely, and it does really annoying things to his face. Like show it off more. Those ridiculously gorgeous features of his are on display for my eyes right now, and I don’t have to avert my gaze because he doesn’t know I’m watching. He has no idea I’m staring at his sharp, angular cheekbones, the fullness of his mouth, or the bump at the bridge of his nose that I see as this perfect imperfection.

God, I fucking love that bump.

His face tenses as his arms move to the front of his body, and I let my eyes roam to the reason for this change.

The blonde, I recognize from the wedding, is on her knees with his cock lodged in her mouth, deep throating it until she gags. His hands are in her hair, encouraging her, pulling her closer until she practically swallows him whole. I lift my eyes to the face I was just secretly admiring seconds ago. It’s no longer tempting to keep my presence unknown. Because there’s no way in hell I’m going to let this shit happen right now.

Fuck him, and his face.

I step in front of the bush and make a fist, clearing my throat into it. Luke’s eyes shoot open and he grabs the blonde’s head, sliding her off his cock. She releases it with a pop and a grunt of disappointment. Apparently, she isn’t finished. But she looks pretty fucking finished to me.

Luke tucks himself away quickly. “What the fuck, Tessa? What are you doing?”

I look from him to the blonde. “Oh, sweetie. You might want to go disinfect. He’s got the herp.”

Slutty blonde parts her lips as if she’s waiting for another cock. She stands and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, glaring in Luke’s direction. “Oh my God. Are you serious? You have herpes?”

Luke’s wide eyes train on mine. “What? No, I don’t!”

“He’s really sweet about it though,” I say, looking sympathetically at the blonde. “He pays for my Valtrex every month.” I turn my eyes to Luke, letting out a swooning sigh. “So romantic.”

Blonde shoves against Luke’s chest. “You’re disgusting.”

“I don’t have fucking herpes!” Luke adamantly vows as he tightens his belt.

I watch, basking in my victory, as blonde trudges through the grass, getting her heel caught in the process. She stumbles a bit, glares at Luke over her shoulder, and disappears around the corner.

“I can’t fucking believe you just did that,” Luke says, prompting me to whip my head around to look at him. He buttons his suit jacket up and steps closer. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

You.

What happened between us.

And the fact that you’ve obviously moved on without any difficulty.

I close the gap and he freezes, his hand flattening against his jacket. My gaze flicks from his crotch to his face, and I mask all the hurt of seeing this asshole with another woman behind the fakest smile I’ve ever worn.

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. You, on the other hand, might want to go to the clinic. If you didn’t have an STD before that whore touched you, I’m sure you have one now.”

I turn and storm away before he can give me a comeback. But more importantly, before he can see the smile fading from my lips.

Fuck. I am desperate for some dick.

I hit the enter key, and wait. Graphics flash across my screen.

Welcome to Ignite. It’s how hot people meet.

Is it? Is this really how hot people are meeting?

Twelve months, Tessa. It’s been twelve months since you’ve gotten laid. You need this.

I stare at my computer screen, having finally gotten up the nerve to visit the online dating website that Mia gave me. Her aunt has apparently been extremely successful on here, finding her current boyfriend after only having to go through two duds. And by the looks of the happy faces smiling at me on my screen with the little conversational bubbles above them, informing users like me of their amazing experiences with Ignite, I might actually get lucky on here.