All I Want

His gaze lowers. “I am dying to be alone with you. Don’t make me wait anymore.”

All my hesitation evaporates as I blush, nodding before finding my voice. “No more waiting.”

***

“Nice place,” he observes, looking around my apartment as I lock the door behind us. I watch him get comfortable on my couch, slumping down on one end. I toss my keys onto the table and head into the kitchen.

“Thanks. Do you want something to drink?”

“A beer, if you got it.”

I grab two beers out of the fridge, and kick my flip-flops off before joining him. As I place the beers on the coffee table in front of me, he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small plastic bag that’s rolled up tightly.

“What is that?” I ask, leaning forward and watching him hold it over the coffee table.

Two of his fingers grasp the top of the bag, allowing it to unravel and reveal the contents.

I put a hand on his arm as my breath catches in my chest. “Um, those are just regular cigarettes, right?”

He muffles his laugh through tight lips, opening the top of the bag and reaching inside. “They better not be.” He pulls out a blunt and tosses the bag in front of him before reaching into the front pocket of his polo and removing a lighter. I watch with what I’m sure is my most alarmed expression as he lights up and takes a hit, holding it in for several seconds before he exhales and offers it to me.

I shake my head, scooting back on the couch.

He moves closer. “Come on. Get high with me.”

“I have beer. I’m good.”

His brow pinches together before he takes another hit, grabs the back of my neck, and blows the smoke against my mouth.

“What the hell!” I push against him, hearing his amused laugh as I cough into my fist. “I’ve never done that stuff. Are you crazy?”

He takes another hit and nods. “You’re twenty-four and you’ve never tried pot? I just did you a favor.”

Suddenly annoyed and borderline murderous, I move to stand when he grabs my wrist and pulls me back down next to him.

“I just wanna go to the bathroom really quick.”

He releases me, blowing the smoke out above him. “Hurry up.”

I ignore the warning in his voice and walk down the hallway, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind me. I rinse my hands under the cool water as I stare at myself in the mirror.

My eyes appear glassy and dilated.

Shit. Can you get high off one hit of weed? Is that a thing?

I turn the water off, roughly drying my hands on a towel before balling it up and tossing it against the wall. I could easily walk back out there and follow through with my original plans for the evening, but I’m suddenly no longer wanting to do anything with this guy besides kick his ass out of my apartment. And after forcing me to try drugs, I seriously doubt he’s going to take my sudden disinterest in him very well. But right now, I don’t give a shit what this guy wants. Nobody makes me uncomfortable.

I exit the bathroom and walk down the hallway, coming up behind the couch and seeing him bent over the coffee table. “Look, I don’t think…”

I’m cut off by a loud sniffing sound and walk around the side of the couch to investigate it. As he lifts his head, my eyes narrow in on the three white lines of powder on my glass top, and I feel my stomach drop out to the floor.

“What the fuck? What are you doing?”

He wipes underneath his nose and leans back, smiling. “Getting high. You said you wanted to party, remember?”

“Are you crazy? My brother is a cop!” I move quickly, and without thought, come up beside him and brush the powder off the table and onto my carpet.

I just want it gone.

I want him gone.

“Hey!” he yells, grabbing me and throwing me to the ground.

I land on my hip, wincing in pain before looking at him over my shoulder and taking in his desperate state.

He runs his hands over the carpet, trying to salvage any of his precious drug, and looking like a strung-out junkie in the process. His eyes flash with rage as he turns them on me, balling his fists against the floor.

“You stupid bitch! Do you have any idea how much that cost me?” Before I can answer, he reaches for my ankle and pulls me toward him. “You’re gonna fucking pay for that.”

I flail against him, bending the leg he doesn’t have in his grasp and kicking out, connecting with his jaw. “Get off me!” He lets out a loud groan, grabbing my other leg and pinning me to the ground. I squirm as much as I can, screaming at the top of my lungs, but he quickly silences me with one hand to my mouth and another to my throat. My hands claw at his face, his neck, anything to weaken him.

My eyes go wide with panic when he tightens his grip.

“Yeah, I fucking love that. Look how scared you look right now.” He bends down, running his nose against my cheek. “Are you ready to see how rough I like it?”

I close my eyes as I try to pry his fingers from around my neck, but he keeps his hold. And as the tears slip out and my breathing becomes constricted, there’s only one word remaining in my vocabulary. One word that I chant over and over again in my head.

Luke.

“Ruin your own life, Tessa. Do whatever you want. I don’t give a shit, and soon, I won’t even have to watch.”

I turn and walk away, needing to get the hell out of here before I resort to begging. I refuse to let her see my desperation right now. I don’t want this to bother me, I shouldn’t care what she does anymore, but it does, and I do.