All I Want

Page 7

You don’t want this anymore? Fine. You need more than what I can give you? Whatever. I didn’t care what the reason was; I just needed one. But she wouldn’t talk to me. She wouldn’t give me anything. And then I find out she broke up with me thinking she was pregnant with my baby.

Fuck her. She keeps something like that from me? I had a right to know.

Her reasoning behind the break-up, using my words to her as an excuse, was complete bullshit. How the fuck was I supposed to know she was fishing around because she thought she was pregnant? Tessa and I never put labels on what we were. And I liked that. I didn’t need anything other than what she was giving me, and I don’t need anyone getting too close. Except for Ben, but that shit’s different. He’s my partner. We have to trust each other completely, and you can’t trust someone if they keep you at a distance. I’d risk my life for him, but that is my choice. And it’s a fucking selfish one. He’s my best friend, and I don’t want to miss him. I don’t want to miss anyone. So I don’t let anyone else in. I can’t. I saw what it did to my dad, and that’s not happening to me.

He didn’t just love her. He lived for her. She was everything to him, and for nineteen years he was a better man. But when you love someone like that, when they become your only reason and they’re taken away from you, a part of you dies right along with them. And nothing can fill that void.

Not the drink you gave up when you met her.

Not the son you shared.

Nothing.

So, what Tessa and I had worked for me. I gave her what I could, and she gave me all of her and never held back. Maybe it wasn’t the perfect balance, but it was us. She was open and honest, most of the time. And I wanted to be that way with her. So when she asked me if I ever saw myself getting married and having a family someday, I was fucking honest.

No. I didn’t.

Shit, before I met Tessa, I had a different girl practically every night. It was fucking easy to get laid in this town, and not a lot of work ever went in to taking someone home. I could just sit back and let them come to me. But doing that for nine years had taken its toll. No one excited me, or my cock. No one until her.

I had known Ben had a sister, but the thought of meeting her had never crossed my mind. We’d gone through the academy together and he mentioned her occasionally, but I’d never thought twice about her. Until I actually saw her. Then she became all I thought about.

It was at one of our fundraising events at Todd Lakes. Ben didn’t tell me that his sister was coming, so when I’d seen him get out of his truck with the hottest chick I’d ever seen, I’d been jealous and really fucking pissed. My best friend had landed himself a girl that my dick wanted to be introduced to. And when they both came walking over to me, I’d wanted to get the hell out of there. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from looking at her, and how fucked up would that be?

Even from a distance she was stunning. She was a tiny thing, coming up to Ben’s shoulders, with reddish hair and a tight little body that I could easily throw around a little, which I desperately wanted to do. She had these crazy green eyes that grew more intense the closer she got to me. And they’d been glued to mine, daring me to break the contact I’d been holding. I’d never been looked at like that. Like she knew I wasn’t going to be able to stop. Like she was getting off on my struggle. She’d fucking commanded attention, and I’d given it to her.

And I’d been way the hell turned on.

Then, by some fucking miracle, she’d turned out to be Ben’s sister. I’d almost lunged at her right then. I’d almost pulled her into my arms and crashed my mouth against hers, needing to taste the sweetness I knew was there, but also the bite, because she fucking had it. Instead, I’d held my hand out for her to take and she’d looked down at it, smirked, and walked away with a smile that had made my dick harden.

That, right there, had pulled me in.

She wasn’t like every other girl. She wasn’t going to let me sit back and wait for her to make that first move. She was going to make me work for it. And I’d never worked for it. I knew she’d fight me. Hell, I’d wanted a fucking challenge. I’d given Ben a look, a look I didn’t need to explain, and he’d laughed, and given me two words: “Good luck.” He’d known what I was going up against. I’d had no idea how difficult it was going to be. But fuck, I’d never wanted anything more than her.

Tessa Kelly. If I’d have known the shit she was going to put me through, I wouldn’t have bothered. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

She’d ended it. She’d been dishonest with me. She’d fucked up everything we had. And now I was on my way to a co-ed baby shower where I wouldn’t be able to avoid her. Where I knew for a fact that I’d once again be caught up in her and nothing else.

Who the fuck throws a co-ed baby shower? Isn’t that usually just for chicks?

I pull up to Ben’s parents’ house and park around back. I try to ignore the throbbing anxiety that is coursing through me as I get out of my truck and walk toward the pool. There are balloons everywhere, all blue and green, and Nolan is running around like a mad man with his sword slicing the air.

“Uncle Wuke!” He wraps his arms around my legs and squeezes me with all his might. “Look at all dees balloons!”

I reach down and rustle his hair after he lets me out of his death grip. “You should try to pop them with your sword.”

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