All the Ugly and Wonderful Things

“I can’t go.”

“Yes, you can, Brenda. There’s nothing you can do here. We can make the funeral arrangements from home.”

“Wavy and Donal are missing. I can’t go. They need me.”

“I’m so sorry about Val, but your daughters need you, too.” Dad jingled his car keys. “The police will find Wavy and Donal and take care of them.”

“What am I supposed to do? I can’t just walk away,” Mom said.

“That’s exactly what you can do. There’s a system in place to take care of kids like Wavy and Donal. There’s a reason I pay through the nose on my taxes, so that when things like this happen, we don’t have to disrupt our lives. So we don’t have to live in the chaos people like Val create. We keep stepping in, but let’s let the system work this time.”

“Are you serious? If something happened to us, is that what you’d want to happen to Leslie and Amy?” Mom stood up, not to come with us, but to fight.

I stood in my socks, on the sidewalk between the room and the car, waiting to see what Dad would do. He stepped out of the motel room and closed the door behind him, leaving Mom alone.

“Get in the car, girls.”

I slept on the drive home, curled up in the front seat. I dreamed in blood that night, speeding through darkness, with Dad’s hand on my back. Aunt Val’s skull ruptured on the kitchen floor in a sea of creeping red. Footprints running away. A trail of blood drops across a concrete floor. A calendar blotter on a desk, with a heart drawn around the nineteenth, and a smear of blood beside it.

6

KELLEN

I knew exactly how Wavy’s birthday would go. I would make her wait at the table with her eyes closed, while I set out the ice cream to spell the message I’d written on the lids. Then I would sit down across from her and say, “Okay, you can look now.”

She would uncover her eyes and stare. The same way the girl at the ice cream place stared at me when I ordered. After she got over the surprise, Wavy would laugh. Stuff like that cracked her up. Then we’d eat ice cream together, even if I had to close my eyes.

After that, I was gonna take her over to the shop to see her real birthday present, the Triumph Terrier. It wasn’t finished yet, but that way she could tell me how she wanted it painted. The guy who sold it to me planned to return it to mint condition, but I had my eye more on the size, only 150 cc. Now that she was fourteen, she could get her learner’s permit, and the bike would let her go where she wanted, when she needed.

Then there would probably be some fooling around. Okay, there was definitely gonna be some fooling around after two weeks apart. Not too fast, but maybe not that slow. I could not stop thinking about the magazine she left on my pillow.

Eventually, I imagined we’d end up lying on the quilt in the meadow and she would name all the stars for me. Last of all, I was gonna say, “Do you really wanna marry me?”

If she said yes, I’d tell her about the conversation I had with Liam.

We were driving back from a deal, and I waited until he was all talked out about business.

“So, what do you want to do about Wavy?” I picked that question because if somebody asked me that, I had an answer.

“Do about her? Is there a problem?” Liam said.

“No, but I was thinking maybe we could make things more official.”

“Didn’t you buy her a ring?”

“Yeah, but I talked to Lyle Broadus. You know, my lawyer on that assault charge over in Garringer. That fight I got into at the drags?”

“Yeah, I remember. Can’t believe he got you probation for turning that guy into hamburger.”

“Well, it was justified. Anyway, Lyle says, once Wavy turns fourteen, we can get married, if you give us permission. It’s just a piece of paper you’d have to sign with a notary, that’s all.”

Liam laughed and shook his head. My stomach went south and I eased up on the accelerator.

“Kellen, as a married man, let me tell you, you don’t want to rush into anything. How old are you? Twenty-five or something? Why are you in such a hurry to tie yourself down? Think about that girl we met at Myrtle Beach last year. The redhead. The one with the tiny, tiny waist and the black leather dress?”

I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. I had room in my head for about five women: my ma, Wavy, Val, and maybe two of Liam’s girlfriends. Beyond that, I couldn’t keep them straight. I wished Liam would lay off the coke or the meth, whichever one made him talk so fast.

“So, would that be okay? If we got married? You wouldn’t have to do anything except sign that form. It’d be easier for school, too. If Wavy lived with me, she’d be closer to the new high school in Belton County.”

“Does she still go to school? You didn’t finish school, did you?”

“No, but Wavy’s a lot smarter than me.”

“No offense, but that’s not saying much. She’s a little slow.” Liam laughed. “I tried to teach her to read and never got anywhere.”

“You know I’d treat her good. You wouldn’t have to worry about that.”

Liam fumbled around in his shirt pocket for the coke. “Can’t talk you out of it, can I? You’re like a—you know in those Budweiser commercials—you’re like a big fucking horse with blinders on. I’m trying to expand your horizons, introduce you to girls, and you got your eye on that weird little runt. Does she even talk to you? Seriously, don’t lie, now, you sad sack of shit, does she talk to you?”