Amy & Roger's Epic Detour

He shook his head. “I’m not so sure about that.”

I was about to contradict him when I realized that Roger had said basically the same thing in the car only a few hours ago. “Well … I know he’s still hung up on her. I mean, that’s why we’re here.”

“So there’s nothing going on between you two?” Lucien asked.

I blinked at him. My first instinct was to be incredulous that he would even think that. But … I ran my hand through my hair, trying not to pull on it too much. This was Roger. And although I’d noticed how cute he was when I first saw him, that wasn’t how I thought of him anymore. Then, completely unbidden, a series of images flashed through my mind. Roger drumming on the steering wheel. Roger sleeping next to me in bed, the blanket falling off his shoulder. Watching me carefully as we drove through a rain-soaked Kansas night, asking me to talk to him. Offering me the last french fry.

“Amy?” Lucien prompted.

“No,” I said quickly. “No, there’s nothing going on. No.”

“That’s a lot of no’s,” Lucien said.

“Yeah,” I agreed, having heard that myself. I leaned back against my seat, a little shaken by this conversation.

“I just wasn’t sure,” he said. “What the situation was, I mean.”

I shook my head. “Nothing is happening.” I paused after saying this. Was that even entirely right? “I mean, nothing has happened,” I corrected, secure in the knowledge that this, at least, was true. “I mean, we’re here for Hadley. Because Roger still has feelings for her.”

“I’m not sure how that’s going to go, then. I think Had’s going to take one look at him and run. That’s what she does. I’m the opposite. I like to stick around.”

“You grow things,” I reminded him. “You’re putting down roots. Literally. People who run off don’t tend to do that.”

“No,” Lucien said with a smile. “I guess not. But I suppose I learned to do it because someone had to be here. And Hadley has spent her entire life running away. She runs from everything. Things, people, feelings. Family. I’ve watched her do it forever. Why do you think she rides horses? She’s been trying to escape since she was little. The thing I don’t think she’s realized is that eventually you have to stop. And what happens when you do?”

Something in what Lucien said was ringing a loud bell, and I had a quick flash of Charlie, seeing his head disappear over the porch railing as he snuck out, night after night. “I think my brother does the same thing,” I said slowly. “I don’t know if he runs away from stuff. But I think he likes to go places where people can’t follow him.”

“Yeah?” Lucien asked.

“Yeah,” I said, feeling the absence of my brother. I had spent so long carefully not talking about him. But suddenly I wanted to. I knew without being able to say why that Lucien would understand. “He’s in rehab,” I said out loud, for the first time.

He looked at me for a long moment, then up at the sky with a short laugh. “So’s my mother,” he said. He shook his head. “She goes almost every summer and dries out. She and my father tell everyone that they’re just on a trip, so they can get some golf in. I even believed it until a few years ago, when Had set me straight.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, hoping he would know that I meant it.

“Me too,” he said, looking at me with a smile. “God, we’re a regular Norman Rockwell painting, aren’t we?”

“Happy families are all alike,” I said, quoting from a book I’d once overheard my mother and Charlie talking about.

Lucien nodded. “Exactly.”

I leaned my head against the back of the seat and looked up at the sky. “Hey, do you know the Kansas state motto?”

“I don’t. Enlighten me.”

“It’s Ad astra per aspera—that’s the Latin. In English, it means ‘To the stars’—”

“Through adversity,” Lucien finished. I glanced over at him, impressed, and he knocked on his skull. “Not just a hat rack.”

“Impressive,” I said, leaning my head back again. “I just thought of it tonight. It’s beautiful out.”

“It is,” he murmured. “Amy …” I turned my head to look at him and saw that he had slid a little closer to me. As I watched, surprised, he slid even closer, reached out, and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. His hand lingered there for a second, and then traced the curve of my cheek, stopping at my chin.

“Oh,” I murmured. “Oh. Um …” I had not been expecting this. And it felt like it had been a long time since I’d had to deal with something like this. I liked Lucien, sure, he was really nice, but …

He slid a little closer, his arm resting along the back of the seat, and now right behind my shoulders. And as he did this, I did feel a little thrill. Here was a boy who liked me, who seemed to want to kiss me under the stars. I was still trying to figure out what I was feeling, and what I was going to do, when he leaned even closer and tipped his head toward mine.

At that instant, the light in Roger’s window came on, and I looked up at it, effectively ruining the moment. Lucien looked toward the light as well and slid back a little bit to his side of the car. “Looks like Roger’s awake,” I said, stating the obvious, just trying to cover some of the awkwardness.

“Looks that way,” Lucien said, with an embarrassed smile.

I smiled back and slid away. “I’d better go to bed,” I said, getting out of the car. I closed the door and leaned over the open window. “But I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Lucien said easily, though I noticed that he was blushing a little—at least, his sunburn appeared more pronounced. “You drove tonight,” he said, looking at me. “That’s huge.”

“Yeah,” I said, feeling the panic begin to rise when I thought about it, the moment when the car had slipped out of my control once again. I pushed the feeling away as best I could and tried to tell myself that I was okay. Unfortunately, the same could not be said of Maurice. I turned and headed to the guesthouse.

“One thing,” he called to quietly to me, and I turned back to him. “Do you have a favorite animal?”