Alek passed her his handkerchief.
“Thanks.” She dabbed her eyes. “Look on page fifty-three. It explains why a woman’s more likely to cry when she’s pregnant.”
Alek flipped through the pages until he found the one she’d mentioned. He scanned the text and nodded.
“How have you been feeling?”
She shrugged. “All right, I guess. I don’t get sick in the mornings the way most women do. I usually get nauseous around three-thirty in the afternoon. I don’t know why I bother with lunch since it comes right back up again.”
“Have you had any other problems?”
“No,” she was quick to assure him. “Actually, I’ve been feeling great. And the nausea should be over soon.” She smiled. “You’ll be proud of me. I’ve been eating well, with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables.” She stopped when she noticed the way he was staring at her. “Is something wrong?”
Alek’s eyes left hers and he shook his head. “Never mind.”
“No, tell me, please.”
He hesitated and Julia felt a jolt of fear. She’d read about this, in the very book that rested on the table between her and Alek. Some men were turned off by their wives during pregnancy.
“You are more beautiful than ever,” Alek whispered.
Julia bit her lower lip and a sigh trembled through her.
“That disappoints you?”
“I’m not beautiful, Alek. Judging by the way Jerry and my assistant are constantly fussing over me, I must look awful.”
Emotion produced a second quivering sigh. “I’ve missed you so much,” she admitted. “I wanted to tell you about the baby right away.… I learned I was pregnant the afternoon you moved out. I came home from the doctor’s office to find you packing.”
“And you didn’t tell me then?” he bellowed.
“Would it have changed anything if I had told you?” she asked calmly.
“Yes,” he answered, then lowered his gaze. “I don’t know.”
“I’d hurt you and was hurting so badly myself. If I’d told you about Junior then, I was afraid it might sound like blackmail.”
“You realize now that I would never betray you?”
“I knew it then, I always knew it…in my heart. I just did a poor job of showing you. I couldn’t get past my own fears.” A tear ran from the corner of her eye. “No words can ever express how sorry I am for the pain I caused you. When we got married, I didn’t expect to fall in love with you. I’d steeled myself against it. I’d been in love once before and, as you know, the experience cost me and others dearly.
“A green-card marriage seemed workable. I was determined not to involve my heart, but day after day you treated me with love and affection, chipping away at my defenses no matter how much I fortified them.
“When Ruth died… I don’t think I would’ve survived that time without you. Your comfort and love meant the world to me. I’ll always treasure our day at the beach.”
She stopped to catch her breath and to keep her voice from cracking. “This much is a fact—I love you, Alek, and I’m deeply sorry for the pain I caused you. I swear I’ll never doubt you again.” Tears fell unheeded from her eyes.
“Don’t cry, Julia.”
She noticed he didn’t call her my love the way he so often had in the past. Covering her face with her hands, she wiped away the moisture, expelled a sigh and forced herself to smile. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me for contacting Roger?”
“If you can forgive me for letting my pride stand in the way.”
“Your pride? Oh, Alek, I trampled over it a hundred times, and still you loved me. I didn’t know how to deal with love and I made so many mistakes.”
“I made my own mistakes.”
“I asked Anna about you countless times, but she refuses to talk about you. I don’t think she’s forgiven me for hurting you.”
“Ah, my sister,” Alek said slowly. “She played the same game with me. I asked her about you so often, she finally told me that if I was so curious, I should go ask you myself.”
“She was right, you know. Neither of us had any business putting her in the middle, pumping her for information about the other.”
“I agree. But I still don’t like it that you didn’t tell me about our baby.”
Julia thought her heart would melt at the tender way he said baby. Alek was going to be a wonderful father. She hadn’t gone into this marriage with any great expectations; she hadn’t thought she’d be married long, despite her undeniable attraction to him. Falling in love with Alek had come as a delightful surprise.
His gentleness, his patience, his comfort had seen her through that bleak time surrounding Ruth’s final days and the dark weeks that followed. Without him, she would have become lost and tormented. How wise of Ruth to recognize the type of man Alek was. To recognize that he would become her compass, guiding her toward happiness.
“I would’ve eventually found a way of getting in touch with you,” Julia said. “Soon, too.… I don’t know how much longer I would’ve been able to keep this baby to myself.” She stopped talking, realizing Alek had come to her because he’d learned of her condition. Slowly she raised her eyes to his. “Who told you I was pregnant?”
If Jerry had known where Alek was all this time, she’d have a few words to say to him.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
“All right, if you must know, a private detective told me.”
“You hired a detective to—”