Angry God

Although, considering that his red face was slowly taking on a nice shade of purple, I wasn’t sure he’d agree with my last statement. I pressed harder, knowing I had just a few more seconds to relish his fright and fury. I wasn’t going to push until he choked to death. I didn’t know much about women, but killing their best friend didn’t seem like a good courting move.

Not that I was courting Lenora.

I was just going to fuck her, take what I needed, and leave.

“You’re never going to touch Lenora again—during my time here or after. No kissing. No fondling. Not even flicking her ear, like you did yesterday. And you definitely aren’t going to get anywhere close to her pussy or tits if you want your tongue to stay in your mouth and not be shoved up your ass. You can be her friend, her platonic friend—the one with zero benefits. Also, we never had this conversation. Am I understood? Blink twice if I am, once if you really want a nice visit to the ER and an oxygen mask for the next week or two.”

He blinked twice, and I released him. I was sure he had plenty to say to me, but as it happened, I didn’t have the time or will to listen.

I stalked out and locked myself in my cellar for the remainder of the day, working.

I felt this weird, hungry, impatient lust for life that hit me like a tornado. It was strange, new, and raw. I finally understood that Iggy Pop song. But to feel lust for life, one must be alive first, and I wasn’t sure I’d been living before Lenora moved to Todos Santos.

Which was a pile of steaming bullshit. What was wrong with me?

I wasn’t feeling alive.

I was feeling horny. That’s it. I just wanted to get my dick wet.

I called it a day a little early—three-thirty. I locked the cellar behind me and took a trip downtown, shouldering past students and professors who begged to see my work.

I bought brownies, wine, and flowers, then threw them into a garbage can before I made it back to the castle. I was torn between wanting to impress her and wanting to kill her.

As I continued, furious at myself for yet again letting a girl fuck me up, my phone rang. I thought it was Dad, but no, it was Knight. I took the call.

“What?”

“Don’t what me like I’m interrupting your goddamn schedule of scowling at places, people, and your own reflection. You texted you wanted Hunter and me to come to London. Everything cool?”

He sounded sober, which meant he’d been keeping up the good work. I Skyped with him often, but it still surprised me to talk to Knight without some sort of slurring involved.

“Berkshire, and yeah, everything’s going according to plan. Just need a solid.”

“In person?”

“The fucking flesh.”

“Aight. Hunter’s travel agent is booking us tickets now. How are things with Drusilla?”

I heard the smile in his voice and clenched my jaw. Who the fuck knew? Admitting to having something with her would only invite unwelcome questions when I eventually put a stop to it. No way was I going to drag her down the dark rabbit hole I was about to dive into.

“There aren’t any things between us,” I told him.

“Hot damn, Spencer. I thought I was the romantic. Turns out, you were the one to drag your ass across the world for a pussy.”

“It had nothing to do with her. I came here for the internship.”

He laughed. I was too distracted to give a damn, though.

“Suuuuure. And I’m doing Meatless Tuesdays because I like quinoa, not because of my vegetarian bae. You’re drowning in a river of denial, too proud to ask someone to pull you out.”

“Clearly Luna likes you for your dick, not your ability to form a fucking sentence. Stay away from writing poetry.”

“Clearly.” More laughter. When he finally calmed down, he said, “Oh, and it’s good you’re not too hot on Astalis, because rumor has it your mom wants to hire her for her gallery in LA when she finishes this little stint. And you told anyone who’s willing to listen you were never coming back to California, amiright?”

“What?” I nearly shrieked, standing in front of the castle now. It infuriated the living fuck out of me that Mom would make this decision without consulting me first. Especially seeing as she didn’t even know Lenora.

Then again, that was exactly why she didn’t tell me. I’d never told Mom how I felt about Astalis.

You don’t feel anything for Astalis, dumbass.

It was quarter to seven, and I was feeling on edge. Pacing back and forth on the front lawn, I shook my head.

“Mom can hire her. None of my business.”

Knight was cracking up at the other end of the line. “Dude, it took you ten minutes to say it. Just admit you believe in a thing called looooove,” he sang. “By the way, this was a test. Your mom said no such thing. But it’s good to know how you really feel. See you in England, fucker. Stay safe.”