Anguish
“Diesel.”
I jerk my head. “What?”
“Your son, his name is Diesel. Not kid. You gotta stop, Mack . . .”
“Don’t tell me how to feel about this,” I hiss.
He steps closer. Maddox has always been bigger than me, but I’ve always had a whole lot more steam. I don’t lie down just because he’s trying to overpower me. “That boy needs you, and if you don’t start bondin’ with him, he won’t know who you are. I don’t know what went down with his mother and you, but it ain’t his fault. You can’t deal with him, you should give him to someone who can.”
“Comin’ from a man that’s got his fuckin’ happily-ever-after, that’s rich. I’ll deal with this when I’m good and fuckin’ ready. Until then, the boy is safe. He’s loved by those around him, and that’s enough.”
“If you truly believe that, then you’ve learned nothin’ in your life,” he mutters, but his eyes show his disappointment in me.
He steps past me, dropping the cigarette and crushing it out with his boot as he goes past. When the door slams, I grind my teeth and glare into the darkness.
They don’t get it; none of them fuckin’ get it.
That woman took my heart, ripped it out, crushed it, and then handed it back to me in one tiny package.
A package I wasn’t ready for.
~*~*~*~
JAYLAH
My ribs don’t feel any better when I wake in the morning, but I’m grateful that it isn’t worse. I force myself up, and I shower slowly. By the time I’m done, everyone is already downstairs. Maddox and Santana spent the night, because they had Diesel. I ignore the stares as I brush past them to get coffee.
“Morning Jay,” Santana says.
“Hey Tana,” I flash her a quick smile, ignoring the two very fierce male eyes boaring into me.
“You make contact with Gregor?” Mack asks.
I close my eyes, take a breath, and turn, coffee in hand. I suck in a little gasp when I see him. Jesus. None one should look that good in the morning. He’s wearing a pair of faded cargo pants, top button undone, boxer briefs poking out the top. No shirt. Hair messy, yet lose, so it flows halfway down his back. My God . . . drool.
“I . . .” God, did his ab muscles just . . . flex? “I didn’t.”
“Good,” he says, making my head jerk up.
“Good?”
“I’m comin’ with you to drop the money off.”
I’m already shaking my head before he’s finished his sentence. “Oh no, that’s not a good idea.”
“It’s not an option.”
“Mack, seriously, I’m not taking you with me to face a drug dealer. It will cause all kinds of problems, and—”
My sentence is cut off with a little squeak when he steps close, his body pressing against mine. He leans down close and my heart skitters as his full lips come into clear view, and God, do I want a taste of them. His brown eyes are intense and determined. “I said,” he grinds out, “it’s not an option. I’m not giving you money to have you deliver it and get shot. Then how will I get my payment?”
“Shot?” I croak.
“You’re just assuming he’s going to let you walk. You don’t know Gregor the way I know Gregor. There’s a good chance he’ll top you, regardless.”
My heartbeat picks up, and my skin becomes clammy. “Top me?”
“That’s why,” he says, letting his eyes slowly travel down my face, “I’m coming with you.”
“O-o-okay.”
What am I going to say? No? Pffft. I’m not stupid, and there’s no way I’m risking my head being anywhere but on my shoulders. Mack steps back, and I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Make the call,” he says, nodding towards my phone. “Don’t tell him I’m coming.”
“Okay.”
I take a sip of coffee.
“Now, Lah.”
I scowl at him. He winks at me.
I lift the phone and the nerves jerk back into my body. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and then I dial Gregor.
“You got my money?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“That was fast. What did you do? Rip another dealer off?”
Fear creeps up my spine.
“I borrowed it, from, ah, family. When do you want to meet?”
“Lunchtime, same place.”
“Okay.”
“You’d better have it,” he says, his voice low and threatening. “Or you’ll more than have my boot in your ribs.”
The phone disconnects, and a gag creeps up my throat but I squelch it down.
“Well?” Mack asks, unperturbed.
“He said to meet at twelve, behind Costa’s.”
Mack turns to Maddox. “You want to trail us?”
Maddox nods. “I’ll get the guys on it, make sure if shit goes down, you’re covered.”
“Good.”
Santana stands, walking over and putting a hand on my shoulder. “You okay?”
“I will be when this is over.”
“It’s going to be okay,” she soothes.
I force a smile and step into the kitchen. I eat, even though my stomach turns, and I spend the rest of the morning talking to Santana and playing with Diesel. When lunchtime rolls around, I feel ill. This could go so badly. Is Mack right? Will they just try to kill me? Granted it’s the middle of they day so I’m hoping that is some protection, but in saying that, Costa’s is quiet as hell when you go around the back. I’m grateful for Mack in that moment, because if he weren’t around I would have waltzed in and just handed the cash over, probably earning myself a bullet to the brain.