Awakened
Zoey
"I have to do what to my cashmere scarf?"
"Tear a strip from it," Stark said.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I got the instructions straight from Seoras. That and a bunch of smart-ass comments about my education being sadly lacking and something about not knowing my arse from my ear or my elbow, and also something about me being a fanny, and I don't know what the hell that means."
"Fanny? Like a girl's name?"
"I don't think so..."
Stark and I shook our heads, in total agreement about Seoras and his weirdness. "Anyway," Stark continued, "he said the pieces of fabric have to be from something that's mine and something that's yours, and it has to be special to each of us." He smiled and tugged at my shimmery, expensive, beautiful new scarf. "You like this thing a lot, don't you?"
"Yeah, enough that I don't want to rip it up." Stark laughed, pulled his dirk from the sheath at his waist, and handed it to me. "Good, then that tied with my plaid will make a strong knot between us."
"Yeah, that plaid didn't cost you eighty euros, which is more than a hundred dollars. I think," I muttered as I reached for the dirk.
Instead of letting me take the dirk from him, Stark hesitated. His eyes found mine. "You're right. It didn't cost me money. It cost me blood."
My shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry. Listen to me, whining about money and a scarf. Ah, hell! I'm starting to sound like Aphrodite."
Stark flipped the dirk around so that it pressed against his chest over his heart. "If you turn into Aphrodite I'm going to stab myself." "If I turn into Aphrodite, stab me first." I reached for the dirk, and this time he gave it to me.
"Deal." He grinned.
"Deal," I said, and then I pierced the fringy edge of my new scarf and with one quick yank ripped a long, slender piece from it. "Now what?"
"Pick a branch. Seoras said I'm supposed to hold my piece, and you hold yours. We tie them together, and the wish we make for us will be tied together."
"Really? That's super romantic."
"Yeah, I know." He reached out and traced my cheek with one finger. "It makes me wish I'd made it up, just for you."
I looked into his eyes and said exactly what I was thinking. "You're the best Guardian in the world."
Stark shook his head, his expression tight. "I'm not. Don't say that."
As he had done to me, I traced his cheek with a finger. "For me, Stark. For me you're the best Guardian in the world."
He relaxed a little. "For you, I'll try to be."
I looked from his eyes to the ancient tree. "There."
I pointed to a low-hanging branch that forked, creating with leaves and limbs what looked like a perfect heart. "That's our place."
Together we went to the tree. Then, like Sgiach's Guardian had instructed, Stark and I tied the earthcolored MacUallis plaid and my shimmery length of cream together. Our fingers brushed and as we looped the last part of the knot, our eyes met.
"My wish for us is that our future is strong, just like this knot," Stark said.
"My wish is that our future is together, just like this knot," I said. We sealed our wishes with a kiss that made me breathless. I was leaning into Stark to kiss him again when he took my hand in his and said, "Would you let me show you something?"
"Okay, sure," I said, thinking that just about then I'd let Stark show me anything.
He started leading me into the grove, but he felt my hesitation because he squeezed my hand and smiled down at me. "Hey, there's nothing here that can hurt you, and if there was I'd protect you. I promise."
"I know. Sorry." I swallowed past the weird little knot of fear that had formed in my throat, squeezed his hand back, and we walked into the grove.
"You're back, Z. Really back. And you're safe."
"Doesn't it remind you of the Otherworld, too?" I spoke quietly and Stark had to bend to hear me.
"Yeah, but in a good way."
"Me, too, most of the time. I feel stuff here that makes me think of Nyx and her realm."
"I think it has something to do with how old this place is, and how apart from the world it's been. Okay, it's over here," he said. "Seoras was telling me about this, and I thought I saw it just before you came up. This is what I wanted to show you." Stark pointed ahead and to the right of us, and I gasped in pleasure. One of the trees was glowing. From within the craggy lines in its thick bark, a soft blue light glistened, as if the tree had luminous veins.
"It's amazing! What is it?"
"I'm sure there's a scientific explanation--probably something about phosphorous plants and stuff, but I'd rather believe it's magick, Scottish magick," Stark said. I looked up at him, smiled, and tugged at his plaid. "I like calling it magick, too. And speaking of Scottish stuff, I'm seriously liking you in this outfit."
He glanced down at himself. "Yeah, weird that what's basically a dress made out of wool can look so manly."
I giggled. "I'd like to hear you tell Seoras and the rest of the Warriors that they're wearing woolly dresses."
"Hell, no. I just came from the Otherworld, but that doesn't mean I have a death wish." Then he seemed to reconsider what I'd just said, and added, "You like me in this, huh?"
I crossed my arms and walked a circle around him, giving him a serious once-over while he watched me. The colors of the MacUallis plaid always reminded me of the earth--weirdly enough, Oklahoma red dirt earth to be specific. That distinctive rusty brown was mixed with lighter justchanged- leaves and bark-like gray-black, lighter just-changed-leaves. He wore it the ancient way, like Seoras had taught him, pleating all those yards of material by hand and then wrapping himself into it and securing it with belts and cool old brooches (except I didn't think Warrior guys called them brooches). He had another piece of plaid that he could pull up over his shoulders, which was a good thing because except for the crisscross leather belt things, all he wore over his chest was a sleeveless T-shirt that left lots of his skin bare.
He cleared his throat. His half grin made him look a little boyish and kinda nervous. "So? Do I pass your inspection, my queen?"
"Totally." I grinned. "With a big A-plus." I liked it that even though he was a big, tough Guardian, he looked relieved.
"Glad to hear it. Check out how handy all this wool is." He took my hand and led me closer to the glowing tree, and sat down, spreading part of his plaid out over the moss.
"Have a seat, Z."
"Don't mind if I do," I said, curling up beside him. Stark pulled me into his arms and flipped up the edge of the kilt over me so that I was warm, cocooned in what felt like a lovely Warrior-and-plaid sandwich. We lay there like that for what seemed like a long time. We didn't talk. Instead we sank into a beautiful, comfortable silence. It felt right to be in Stark's arms. Safe. And when his hands started to move, tracing the pattern of my tattoos, first on my face and then down my neck, that felt right, too.
"I'm glad they came back," Stark said softly.
"It was because of you," I whispered back. "Because of what you made me feel in the Otherworld."
He smiled and kissed my forehead. "You mean scared and freaked out?"
"No," I said, touching his face. "You made me feel alive again."
His lips went from my forehead to my mouth. He kissed me deeply and then, against my lips, he said, "That's good to hear, 'cause the whole thing with Heath, and almost losing you, has made me know something for real that I only kinda knew before. I can't live without you, Zoey. Maybe I'll only be your Guardian, and you'll have another consort or even a mate, but whoever else you have in your life won't change who I am to you. I'll never get pissed and selfish again and leave you. No matter what. I'll deal with other guys, and it won't change us. I swear." He sighed then and pressed his forehead against mine.
"Thank you," I said. "Even if it does kinda sound like you're giving me away to other guys."
He leaned back, frowned at me, and said, "That's just bullshit, Z."
"Well, you just said that it's cool with you if I'm with--"
"No!" He shook me a little. "I didn't say I was cool with you being with other guys. I said I wouldn't let it break up what we have."
"What do we have?"
"Each other. For always." "That's enough for me, Stark." I twined my arms around his shoulders. "Would you do something with me?"
"Yep, anything," he echoed my answer, making both of us smile.
"Kiss me like you did before so that I can't think."
"I can handle that," he said.
Stark's kiss started out as slow and sweet, but it didn't stay that way for long. As his kiss deepened, his hands began to explore my body. When he found the bottom edge of my T-shirt he hesitated, and it was during that tiny moment of hesitation that I made my decision. I wanted Stark. I wanted all of him. I pulled away from him so that I could look into his eyes. We were both breathing hard and he automatically leaned toward me, like he couldn't stand not being pressed against my body.
"Wait." I put my hand flat against his chest.
"Sorry." His voice sounded gruff. "I didn't mean to come on too strong."
"No, that's not it. You're not coming on too strong. I just wanted to ... well..." I hesitated, trying to make my mind work through the fog of desire I was feeling for him. "Ah, hell. I'll show you what I want." Before I could get shy or embarrassed, I stood up. Stark was watching me with an expression that was curiosity mixed with heat, but when I pulled off my shirt, undid and stepped out of my jeans, the curiosity went away and his eyes seemed to darken with the heat. I lay back down within the safety of his arms, loving the sensation of the roughness of his plaid against the smoothness of my naked skin.
"You're so beautiful," Stark said, tracing the pattern of my tattoo that wrapped around my waist. His touch made me tremble. "Are you scared?" he asked, pulling me closer.
"I'm not trembling because I'm scared," I whispered against his lips between kisses. "I'm trembling because of how much I want you."
"You're sure?" "Totally sure. I love you, Stark."
"I love you, too, Zoey."
Stark took me in his arms then, and with his hands and his lips, he blocked out the world, making me think only about him--want only to be with him. His touch banished the ugly memory of Loren, and the mistake I'd made giving myself to him, into the mists of the past. At the same time Stark soothed the hurt inside me left by Heath's loss. I would always miss Heath, but he had been human, and as Stark made love to me I understood that I would have had to say goodbye to Heath eventually. Stark was my future-- my Warrior--my Guardian--my love.
When Stark unwrapped the MacUallis plaid from around his body and lay naked beside me, he bent and I felt his tongue first against the pulse at my neck, and then a brief, questioning touch of his teeth.
"Yes," I said, surprised by the breathless, unfamiliar sound of my voice. I shifted my body so that Stark's lips pressed more firmly against my neck, while I kissed the strong, smooth slope where his shoulder met his biceps. With my own wordless question, I let my teeth graze his skin.
"Oh, goddess, yes! Please, Zoey. Please."
I couldn't wait any longer. I nicked his skin at the same moment he bit gently into my neck, and with the warm, sweet taste of his blood my body was filled with our shared feelings. The bond between us was like fire--it burned and consumed, almost painful in its intensity. Almost unbearable in its pleasure. We clung to each other, mouths pressed against skin, body against body. All I could feel was Stark. All I could hear was the pounding of our hearts beating in time together. I couldn't tell where I ended and he began. I couldn't tell which pleasure was mine, and which was his. Afterward while I lay in his arms, our legs twined together, our bodies still slick with sweat, I sent a silent prayer to my Goddess: Nyx, thank you for giving Stark to me. Thank you for letting him love me.
***
We didn't leave the grove for hours. Later I would remember that night as one of the happiest of my life. In the chaos of the future, the memory of being wrapped in Stark's arms, sharing touches and dreams, and for that moment in time being completely, utterly content, would be something I cherished, like the warm glow of candlelight on the darkest of nights.
Much later we walked slowly back to the castle. Our fingers were threaded together, our sides brushed intimately. We'd just crossed the moat bridge, and I'd been so wrapped up in Stark that I hadn't even noticed the staked heads. Actually, I hadn't noticed much of anything until Aphrodite's voice intruded.
"Oh, for shit's sake. Could you two be more obvious?"
I lifted my head dreamily from Stark's shoulder and saw Aphrodite standing in a pool of torchlight at the entrance to the castle, toe tapping in annoyance.
"My beauty, leave them be. They've earned their piece of happiness." Darius's deep voice came from the shadows beside her.
One fine blond eyebrow lifted mockingly. "I don't think happiness is the piece she just gave Stark."
"Seriously, even your crudeness can't bother me right now," I told her.
"It can bother me, though," Stark said. "Shouldn't you be pulling the wings off seagulls or the claws off crabs?"
Aphrodite acted like Stark hadn't spoken and walked up to me. "Is it true?"
"Is what true? That you're a pain in the butt?" I said.
Stark snorted. "That's definitely true."
"If it's true, then you're gonna have to tell him. I'm not listening to him blubber." Aphrodite waved her iPhone around, using it to punctuate her words.
"Jeesh, you're acting super crazy, even for you," I said. "Do you need shopping therapy intervention? Is. What. True?" I spoke slowly, pretending she was an English-as-a-second-language-learner. "Is it true what the Queen of Every Damn Thing Skye just told me--that you're not leaving with us tomorrow? That you're staying here?"
"Oh." I shuffled my feet, wondering why I should feel guilty. "Yeah, that's true."
"Great. Just great. Then, like I said before, you tell him."
"Who him?"
"Jack. Here. He's gonna burst into snotty tears and ruin his makeup, which will make him boo-hoo even more. And I want nothing to do with gay snot. At all." Aphrodite punched the screen of her phone. It was ringing when she handed it to me.
Jack sounded sweet but defensive when he answered. "Aphrodite, if you're going to say something else mean about the Ritual, then I think you should just say nothing at all. Plus, I'm not going to listen to you because I'm busy defying gravity. So there."
"Uh, hi, Jack," I said.
I could almost see his smile blaze through the phone. "Zoey! Hi! Oooh, it's so cool that you're not dead, or even dead-like. Oh, oh, did Aphrodite tell you what we're planning for tomorrow after you get back? Ohmigoddess, it's going to be so totally cool!"
"No, Jack. Aphrodite didn't tell me 'cause--"
"Goodie! I get to tell you. So, we're going to have a special Dark Daughters and Sons Ritual of Celebration, like with proper nouns and such, because you being un-shattered is a big deal."
"Jack, I have to--"
"No, no, no, you don't have to do anything. I have it all handled. I even have the food planned, well, with Damien's help, of course. I mean..."
I sighed and waited for him to take a breath. "See, told ya," Aphrodite said under her breath while Jack gushed. "He's going to bawl when you burst his little pink bubble."
"... and my favorite part is when you come into the circle I'm going to be singing `Defying Gravity.' You know, like Kurt did on Glee, except I'm going to actually hit that high note. So what do you think?"
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and said, "I think you're a really good friend."
"Oooh! Thank you!"
"But let's postpone the Ritual."
"Postpone? How come?" His voice already sounded trembly.
"Because..." I hesitated. Crap. Aphrodite was right. He probably was going to cry.
Stark pried the phone gently from my hand and tapped the speaker button.
"Hey there, Jack," he said.
"Hi, Stark!"
"Could you do me a favor?"
"Ohmigoddess! Of course!"
"Well, I'm still kinda out of it from the Otherworld thing and all. Aphrodite and Darius are coming back tomorrow, but Zoey is going to stay here on Skye with me while I get stronger. So could you let everyone know that we won't be back in Tulsa for a couple more weeks or so? Just pass the word for me and smooth everything over?"
I held my breath, waiting for the tears, but instead Jack sounded totally grown and mature. "Absolutely. Don't worry about anything, Stark. I'll let Lenobia and Damien and everyone know. And Z, no problem. We can definitely postpone. It'll just give me more time to practice my song and figure out how to make origami swords for decorations. I thought I'd hang them with fishing line, that see-through stuff, so it would look like, you know, they're defying gravity."
I smiled and mouthed thank you to Stark. "Sounds perfect, Jack. I won't worry about a thing if I know you're in charge of the decorations and the music."
Jack's happy laughter bubbled. "It's going to be a great Ritual! You wait and see. Stark, just get well. Oh, and Aphrodite, you shouldn't assume that I'm going to burst into tears at the first hint of a change in party plans."
Aphrodite frowned at the phone. "How the hell did you know that's what I assumed?"
"I'm gay. I know things."
"Whatever. Say goodbye, Jack. My phone's roaming," Aphrodite said.
"Goodbye, Jack!" Jack said, giggling, while Aphrodite snatched the phone from Stark and ended the call.
"That went better than you thought it was going to go," I said to Aphrodite.
"Yeah, `she' took it well. Wonder how that other one will take it, since she's exponentially worse than Miss Jack."
"Look, Aphrodite, Damien isn't a fluttery gay, not that there's anything wrong with that. But I really wish you'd be nicer about both of them."
"Oh, please. I'm not talking your gays. I'm talking about Neferet."
"Neferet!" My voice was sharp. I hated even saying her name. "What have you heard from her?"
"Nothing, and that's exactly what I'm worried about. But, hey, Z, don't lose any sleep over it. After all, you're going to be here, on Skye, with a gazillion big, strong guys--and Stark--to protect you, while the rest of us mere mortals get on with the whole good versus evil, Darkness v. Light, epic battle, blah, blah, et cetera, ad nauseam." Aphrodite turned and stomped up the front stairs of the castle. "Aphrodite's a mere mortal? I thought her pain-inthe-ass level was well beyond mere," Stark said.
"I heard that!" Aphrodite called over her shoulder.
"Oh, and FYI, Z, I had a luggage emergency, as in I didn't have enough of it, so I'm confiscating that suitcase you bought the other day. I'm off to do some power packing. Later, peasants." She slammed the thick, wooden door to the castle, which really took some doing.
"She's magnificent," Darius said, smiling proudly as he vaulted the steps and followed Aphrodite.
"I can think of a lot of m words that she could be. Magnificent isn't one of them," Stark grumbled.
"Mental and mean pop into my head," I said.
"Manure pops into mine," Stark said.
"Manure?"
"I think she's full of shit, but it's too many words and doesn't start with an m, so that's as close as I could get," he said.
"Heehees," I said. Then I linked my arm with his.
"You're just trying to distract me from the Neferet stuff, aren't you?"
"Is it working?"
"Not really."
Stark's arm slid around me. "Then I'll have to work on my distraction skills."
Arm in arm, we walked to the castle entrance. I let Stark amuse me with his list of m words that fit Aphrodite better than magnificent, and tried to regain the sense of contented happiness I'd felt so recently and so briefly. I kept telling myself that Neferet was a world away--and the adults of that world could handle her. As Stark opened the castle door for me, something pulled my vision upward and my eyes caught on the flag that waved proudly over Sgiach's domain. I paused, appreciating the beauty of the powerful black bull with the shape of the glittering Goddess within his body. Just then, a trail of mist lifted from the waters that flanked the castle, altering my sight of the flag and changing the black bull to ghostly white as it blanked out the Goddess image completely.
Fear skittered through my body.
"What is it?" Instantly alert, Stark moved to my side.
I blinked. The fog dissipated and the flag shifted back into its proper form.
"Nothing," I said quickly. "Just me being paranoid."
"Hey, I'm right here. You don't have to be paranoid; you don't have to worry. I can protect you."
Stark took me into his arms and held me tightly, blocking the outside world and what my gut was trying to tell me.