Beauty from Surrender

I nod as I watch her hands move from my open fly to the waist of my jeans where she hooks her fingers around them and my boxer briefs. "Upsy-daisy," she directs as she pulls downward. I lift my hips and she's careful to avoid snagging my hard-on as she slides them to my feet before tossing them onto the floor.



After I'm naked from the waist down, she rises to her knees and runs her hands up my thighs before she rakes her nails slowly down my legs. "I'm gonna suck you off so good, you'll forget your own name."



"I dare you."



She grabs me where my legs are bent and gives me a jerk to scoot my body closer to her. Frankly, I'm a little surprised because I didn't realize she was packing that kind of strength in her tiny body.



Her eyes watch mine as her tongue touches the base of my cock and she slides it slowly up the shaft until reaching the tip. She swipes her tongue back and forth across the end before tilting her head and wrapping her mouth around the base from the side. She glides her mouth upward and then covers me as she takes me fully inside her mouth.



I love watching her do that. It never gets old.



I lace my fingers through her nape and massage the muscles of her neck as each stroke of her mouth brings me closer to ecstasy. I love seeing her head bob up and down as she takes me deeper with each pass. She uses her hand to grasp the void space and it glides up and down in perfect rhythm with her mouth. She does this motion over and over until I feel it building and I'm ready to blow.



"I'm getting close," I warn her because it always needs to be her decision if I come in her mouth.



Like always, she doesn't stop and I can't believe how lucky I am to have a girl who does any of this for me. She is so fucking hot!



I try to hold back so I can make it last longer, but I'm a goner when she squeezes her hand tighter around the base. I flex upward into her mouth and her hands move to wrap around my hips as she gives me one last hard suck. I place my head against the back of the couch and look up at the ceiling. "You are my dream come true."



That's how I stay for several seconds before I lift my head to see her sitting at my feet, her chin resting on my leg as she looks up at me. "I love seeing you come apart like that. It's amazing to know I'm able to do that to you."



I place my hand on the side of her face and rub my thumb over her bruised cheekbone. "You're the only one who can."



She turns her face toward my palm and places her hand on top of mine. "I think I owed you that after you handled Jolie so well. I know that wasn't easy for you."



There's so much more. "Baby, you don't know the half of it."



"What else did she do?"



"She cornered me in the dining room while you were in the kitchen."



"What did she say?"



I don't really even want to go there because I'm afraid Laurelyn might begin to think about it and find some merit in her mum's words, but I tell her out of my own selfishness because I want to see her reaction. I've dropped hints here and there, but we've yet to talk about any kind of future together. I hope to read her face for some sign of how she feels about leaving her new successful life. "She told me I'd be robbing you of great opportunities if I took you away from your career."



"Oh, God."



"You know I'm not that person. I want you to have everything you've dreamed of."



"There are two things I dream of, and having one means I don't get to have the other."



I'm gonna put it out there. "The selfish part of me wants to tell you to quit this thing you're doing and come back with me, but I won't. It has to be a decision you make on your own. I couldn't take it if years down the road, you blamed me for robbing you of this life."



"And I want to tell you to sell everything and come here to build a life with me, but I understand how leaving behind the vineyards you know for the unknown could be disastrous for your livelihood. You've worked too hard to give up all of your success, and I could never ask you to move away from your family. So, where does that leave us? Where do we go from here?"



"I have no idea. I only know that I want you more than anything I've ever wanted in my life."



"Ditto." She kisses my leg. "I wish we weren't so complicated." As soon as the word complicated leaves her mouth, we both laugh. "I know. Complication is exactly what you wanted to avoid and look at what it's done to your life."



I hope she's not suggesting we would've been better off not knowing one another because nothing could be further from the truth. "Come here, love."



She gets up from the floor and straddles me. I take her face in my hands and hold it so she's eye to eye with me. "I don't regret you for a second. You're my favorite complication and you always will be." I see the tears forming in her eyes as they begin to glass. "I knew you were the next one the second I laid my eyes on you singing in that club, but you can never imagine my surprise when I realized that you weren't just the next one—you were the last one."



Chapter Nineteen



He has no idea what it does to me when he says things like that. It tears my heart in two. I know I love him and I want to be with him more than anything in this world, but then I have this life I've only barely tasted. What if I give it up and then we don't work out? Where would I be then?



Alone without a career. I've been there and done that, and it was terrible. I'm terrified of finding myself in that predicament again.



My heart is racing. I know he wants me to tell him I'll walk away from all this and go back with him, but I can't. "I'm scared. Terrified is actually a better word. I wish I weren't, but I'm the only person in my life who's ever had my back. This is my way of surviving—to put trust in someone besides myself is to become vulnerable. I've never allowed myself to do that. I'm just messed up that way and I'm not sure I can ever be any different."



"I know you can. I saw your vulnerability when you told me you loved me for the first time. You broke through those walls you'd built but I let you down. And even though you love me, you're not ready to trust me wholeheartedly again. But it's okay because I'm going to prove that you can put all of your faith in me."



I would love that so much—to have just one person I could always depend on for love and safety. And I'd love nothing more than for it to be Jack Henry. "Please don't confuse my lack of security for lack of love. I swear I couldn't love you more, but I need time."



"I want you to have everything you want. If time is what you're asking for, then I'll give you all you need." He pulls my face to his and kisses my mouth so gently, I almost swoon. "I'll always give you anything you want."



I feel his erection sandwiched between us and I rock my pelvis gently against it. "Right now, there's only one thing I want, and you're definitely the only person who can give it to me."



In record time, he has us moved to the floor and I'm on my back with him dragging my jeans and panties down my legs. He's merciless when he drives into me so hard, my back skids across the carpet. "Sorry," he apologizes but doesn't relent as he pounds inside me. I'm propelled further across the floor with each thrust.



I loop my arms around him to hold on. "Never be sorry for fucking me this good."



"God, you're gonna get carpet burn if I keep on like this."



He's up from the floor and pulling me with him. He lifts me and deposits my bottom on the arm of the couch. I fall backwards on the cushions before I lift my feet to his shoulders and he's at it again. Damn. I'm getting fucked while practically standing on my head, and it's pretty superb.



I should be willing to walk away from my life just so I can have this done to me every day. It's definitely something to consider.



He wraps his hands around my thighs and pulls me up to him as he drives harder with each thrust. "I meant what I said. I swear you are my fucking dream come true."



It's amazing how he can take the sweetest things, throw the word "fucking" in the middle of it, and I could melt into a puddle at his feet. If my panties weren't already off, I'd be dropping them after hearing him say that.



I don't have time to think of a witty response because he's thrusting into me those last few times. "There's nothing I love more than being inside you, Miss McLachlan."



Okay, that's a little different. Usually he just groans my name. This time I get a complete sentence, ending with "Miss McLachlan."



When he's finished coming, I slide up the couch and he sinks over on top of me with his body settled between my thighs. "I swear you don't miss an opportunity to get between my legs."



"No, I certainly do not, and that won't be changing any time soon." He reaches down and grins mischievously as he cups his hand over me. "This is where I love to be."



I slap his hand away because sometimes a girl just needs a little break. "You are an animal."



"And you love it."



He always says that. And it's true. "Yeah, I do."



"We have six days to ourselves before you're scheduled back in the studio. Do you want to do something special?"



I'm always up for anything, special or not, with him. "What do you have in mind?"



"I don't know. Maybe take a trip somewhere?"



I've been away from home for so long. I'd like to spend some time here instead of being gone all week. "Maybe if it was a short trip—no more than three days."



"What about Vegas?"



I like the thought of a little fun at the casinos. "I could handle a little R and R. Maybe do some gambling. See a show."



"What day works for you?"



I don't want to come back and have to roll into rehearsals the next day. "Can we do it soon so I can have a few days to rest before I have to be back in the studio? It's going to be hell on wheels once we start this new material."