“You’re not going to want to hear this.”

“Then say it faster. I don’t know. But please . . . just say it.”

It’s over, she thinks. Whatever this rare, special, unexpected thing between them was, it’s over. He’s stepping back. Stepping out. Whatever you want to call it. She’d never expected to find someone who could handle her past. Now that her future’s twice as insane, how can she expect any man to hold up under the stress created by both? Her mind’s spinning with fearful thoughts of what Luke walking away from her could mean, given everything he knows about her current situation. How will Cole respond? But this is a distraction, she’s sure. A distraction from the rejection that’s about to hit her like a body blow from which no pill can protect her.

“Yes, I was worried,” Luke says. “I was worried sick. And the only thing I wanted was for you to come back. But there was another part of it, a part I’m ashamed of.”

“Just don’t . . .”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t give me some speech about how you just want a normal life. If you wanted normal, you should have found yourself a sorority girl.”

“Normal?”

“Yeah. Stress-free. Easy. Whatever.”

“You think I want a normal life? You gotta be kidding me. I’ve wanted out of this town since I was a kid. You think I went after a job at the FBI because I wanted to . . . what? Be Father Knows Best and run a feed store? Come on. Charley, I wasn’t just worried. I was jealous. I wanted to be there, and not just to make sure you were OK. I wanted to take down another guy like Pemberton.”

“Luke, it wasn’t the same.”

“Even so, I didn’t want to be here, corralling drunks and counting the minutes until you came back. So at the first sign of something, anything that would make me feel like I was making the world a better place, I jumped at it. But I jumped too damn hard, and now we’re in the middle of this crap because of me.”

“Lord,” Charley whispers.

“What?”

“I thought you were breaking up with me.”

“What? No!”

“Why didn’t you say any of this before now?” she asks.

“Oh, come on. We both knew. Cole said I couldn’t be part of the team, and you didn’t fight him on it so I backed down.”

“I didn’t fight him on it because you didn’t fight me on it.”

“I know, but still . . .”

“Oh, please. We’re supposed to read each other’s minds now?”

“Maybe not. But we’re supposed to know each other, aren’t we? I mean, come on, do you really think I want to spend the rest of my life as a sheriff’s deputy in Altamira? I came home with my tail between my legs because my dreams were shot and I didn’t want to become some consultant with my business degree. And then . . . you and I. We did something amazing. We found that guy, Charley, and you stopped him. And then all of a sudden my job was to stay home and wait for you and not talk about everything you’d done.”

“This isn’t just about what I said about Bailey?”

“What do you mean?”

“The fact that he’s working for Cole now. You’ve tried so hard to make him be a family with you. I just worry that you think if you go into business with Graydon, too, it’ll bring you guys closer.”

“It won’t.”

“I know it won’t. I mean, I’ve been working with Graydon for months, and I’ve never laid eyes on him.”

“It’s not about him, Charley. I know it might seem like it, but it’s not.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s about me. That’s why I didn’t want to say it. Because it’s really just about me and what I want, and it feels selfish. But it’s the truth. I want to be part of something. That’s what I’ve wanted all my life. I want to do something that makes the world a better place. But it’s too damn easy to give up on that dream, because the older you get the more you realize the world’s worse off than you thought.”

“You do make this world a better place.”

“Charley, don’t greeting card this.”

“Luke, if you pull over a drunk driver on your shift, you could be saving a school bus full of kids later. You’re not giving yourself enough credit.”

“You’re part of something that could change the world. I’m screwing up basic law enforcement work.”

“This wasn’t basic. You were being played by someone unstable who’d just discovered a massive criminal conspiracy she didn’t know how to handle or even report. You were doing the best you knew how to do. And if you really thought Jordy Clements was a woman beater, good. I’m glad you threw him in a cell.”

“You’re just being generous,” he says.

“That’s bad?”

“It’s not, I guess,” he whispers. “I meant to say biased.”

“Still. Everyone deserves at least one person who’s always biased in their favor.”

“Marty?”

“No, my grandmother used to say that one.”

“So many sayings, so few of them knitted on things. Missed opportunities all over the place.”