“So, James,” I started before he had a chance to say anything. “I’m assuming you’re going to agree with my father here—as per usual—but let me add something before I get sent to my room. If you agree with him this time, after everything I went through last night”—I leaned forward, the sudden movement causing a halo of lights to erupt in my field of vision, distracting me—“um…if you do that… You have…big…spots…and colorful stuff…floating around.” I ended lamely, blinking a few times, shaking my head and gripping the front of the desk. I pulled my focus back with concentrated effort and clenched teeth. “What I mean is, everything I went through last night will have been for nothing. You have to consider what it means if I continue to stay in this environment, and it’s going to be on your conscience if you agree with my father. You’re going to have to live with it.”
James’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Did you just say I had colorful spots?” His laugh mingled nicely with his Irish brogue as he spoke, giving it a nice chime. “I don’t think that’s quite accurate, but I’ve been called worse, that’s for certain. And to address what I think was your statement—no, I don’t agree with your father. I think it’s time for you leave the Compound. It’s not bloody safe for you anymore and that’s plain enough to see. If you stay here, it’s only a matter of time before you’re hurt beyond repair.”
Now it was time for my eyebrows to mingle with my hairline. I couldn’t shake my astonishment, so I left them up there for a few seconds. I’d known James my entire life, and he’d never once taken my side—and over the years there’d been ample opportunities for him to do so. “Wha?” I finally managed, shaking my head again. Please don’t let it be the drugs talking. “Can you please repeat that?”
“You can’t be serious, James.” My father slapped his hands on the desk. “You’re actually recommending I send my daughter down to the cities alone? Unprotected?”
“No, I’m recommending we find a plan that suits,” James stated evenly, his voice firm. “The wolves have grown more unsteady in the last few months—more than they’ve been in a long time. It’s becoming apparent Jessica is no longer safe here, and we cannot protect her at all times when she’s on Compound.”
“Then I’ll issue a stronger threat,” my father argued.
“In your direct presence the wolves will not attack; that we know,” James said. “But your authority will lessen while you’re away. And now that Jessica has openly challenged a wolf, they will view it as an invitation to do more harm.” And since I hadn’t won, they wouldn’t think twice about it. “The Pack is running on strong emotion, and it’s too late to rein it all in. It’s been building for nineteen years. The discontent has momentum, whether we like it or not. Keeping her here is too great a risk.”
Lesser wolves could not physically disobey a direct order from their Alpha when he was near, but when they were agitated enough, their emotions overrode their orders. They were living, breathing bodies with animal instincts. They weren’t robots. Unfortunately.
“Then they will swear blood oaths. Every single one of them.” My father’s voice held more than rage; it held both sadness and a ferocity I’d never heard before. Chills ran up my arms and I hugged myself.
James sucked in a sharp breath. “You cannot be serious.” He moved forward in his seat. “If you do that, the Pack will dissolve within a month. The wolves have always been restless having a female in their presence, and if you make them swear to accept her, upon death, they will flee rather than risk their lives.”
“Dammit!” My father pounded the top of his desk with his fists. It was solid mahogany, but it splintered. He knew James spoke the truth—but he didn’t want it to be true. Nobody was a better Alpha than Callum McClain, and everyone knew it. My father was a fair leader with a strong hand, and not all Alphas were equal—actually, far from it. Wolves followed their Alpha by instinct, but when overcome by extreme emotion, they became restless and confused. It would be disastrous to have them swear an oath of fealty to me resulting in instantaneous death if they stepped out of line. A blood oath would bind their blood to the Alpha’s, and vice versa. The words they swore would become a binding contract. If they laid a finger on me thereafter, they would be breaking their vow and they would die, my father’s blood extinguishing their life in some capacity that was still a mystery to me. My father stood up and paced to the windows. “There has to be some way to solve this that doesn’t include putting my daughter in more danger. My wolves will obey me! I am their Alpha.”
“The only way is to send me away,” I repeated quietly. “What danger could I possibly face in the cities that I haven’t already encountered here?” I paused for a second, feeling unaccountably emotional. I blamed the drugs. “I’m so tired of living with conflict. I deserve to have my own life. I don’t belong here.” I picked at nonexistent lint on my pants. “I’m sure I never did.”
“Jessica, you don’t understand how the supernatural community works,” my father growled, turning to face me. “They are extremely powerful and they will be curious about a female born to a werewolf. I can’t allow it. It’s too full of unknowns, dangerous beings with deadly skills, any of which could kill you. You are human and I can’t possibly prepare you for everything you may encounter, and even if I could, it would be useless. You are no match for them.”
“Then I won’t go as myself.” I shrugged. “I can leave here as anybody. Nobody knows my face except for the wolves up here. I’m willing to start over and live in secrecy if it gets me out of here. I will do whatever you ask of me—I will be safe, keep my head down, and follow your rules. I swear.” That would be new for me, but I was willing to try.
“That may work, Callum,” James said carefully. “We have the ability to give her an alias, a brand-new identity. We do it all the time for Pack wolves who relocate.” Werewolves don’t age normally, and over time people start to notice. “She can leave here freely if no one knows who she is. She doesn’t smell like us, and there are no other traits that would give her away.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “Nobody has ever seen me in your company, as the Alpha’s daughter. They don’t know what I look like. They only have my name.”
“I don’t like it.” My father ran a hand through his hair. “The wolves here know you. They can find you. Word can spread to other Packs.”
“Then”—I grappled for an answer—“we’ll tell them I’ve left the country. They won’t bother looking for me if they think I’m gone for good. Or we can pretend I died—we can fake my death.”
“It’s not that easy, Jessica,” my father said stubbornly. “There are other factors involved.”
“What other factors can there possibly be?” I asked, exasperated. “Because those factors can’t be any worse than getting the shit kicked out of me again at the hands of one of your wolves. You have to stop being so stubborn and try to understand! Anything that happens to me in my new life will pale in comparison to what I’ve already lived through here. The brushes with violence, my constantly being surrounded by people who would rather see me dead, happen on a daily basis. I can’t keep this up. You’re going to have to let me go one way or another, and I’d rather not leave here in a body bag.”
“That’s enough!” My father stopped in front of me. “You think I don’t know what goes on right under my nose? In my own Pack? That I’m blind to what’s been happening? I’m not. And I never have been. I’ve let you and Tyler lie to me these last few months, tiptoe around, covering your bruises. And I’ve done it in an effort to save lives—just as you both have.” He walked to the windows. “I’ve ignored it for the good of the Pack, because if I killed those wolves, the Pack would’ve been torn apart already, your life in greater jeopardy.” He turned without meeting my eyes. “I’ve been the Alpha of this Pack for over five hundred years. It’s tough to understand how long that is until you’ve lasted as long as I have. Up until nineteen years ago, my leadership was cut-and-dried, my allegiance, without question, to my Pack—to my wolves. That allegiance was returned to me without hesitation. Once you were born, things changed very quickly. It took me by surprise. The intensity and love I have for you and Tyler came from somewhere deep and previously untapped. I can’t say I’ve made the best choices along the way, especially of late, but trying to maintain a fair balance to both you and this Pack has taken its toll. Everyone has suffered. I can’t protect you without sacrificing the lives of my wolves, the same wolves who have stood beside me for centuries.”
“So your threats to harm them if they touched me have been for show?”
“Of course not.” My father spun around to face me, his eyes glinting with emotion. “All of my orders about your safety have been sincere, backed with my full power. Seeing you, of your own free will, fighting Mitch in the arena, an area off-limits except for Pack challenges, must be handled carefully. I cannot step in and kill a wolf during a challenge. It’s against Pack Law. But Mitch will be lucky if he survives. At any other time during your life, if I’d personally seen any wolf abusing you, I would have killed him instantly and without regret.” He ran both hands through his thick black hair. “Recently, as the aggression increased, every scuffle was relayed back to me, and I made absolutely sure you weren’t hurt—that the outcome wasn’t severe, that Tyler or one of the other wolves had stepped in, or that the wolf himself had walked away. If that hadn’t been the case, or any of the fights had escalated too far, the wolf in question would’ve faced death at my hands.” He blew air out of his mouth, but this time it was with regret, not annoyance. “Jessica, you have to understand that violence is a way of life for us and always has been. We are animals at our core, and fighting one another for our rightful place in this world is natural. We can’t change that.” He sighed. “But if the goddamn wolves had followed my directives instead of letting a myth lead them emotionally astray, we’d all be coexisting just fine. Once you didn’t make a change at puberty, I sincerely thought the unrest surrounding you would calm. But I can see it’s only gotten worse.” He shook his head. “I don’t understand it.”