Chapter 2
“They. Look. So. Good!” Dawn’s round eyes opened even wider when she saw the star-shaped string of lights in our shopping cart. By now we’d reached the aisle with bedspreads and throws, but I turned up my nose at all the bright flower patterns attacking me from all sides. I brushed my hand over the colorful fabric and turned toward my new friend.
I’d met Dawn at the intro lectures. We’d both gotten there way too early and started chatting while we waited—a stroke of luck, as far as I was concerned. There was no other explanation. Dawn was new here, like me. But she hadn’t moved to get away from her family. In her case, it was an ex-boyfriend. They’d been together six years when he cheated on her. She’d needed to get away, too. Now here we were together at Target to snag stuff for our rooms. The hour-long drive to Portland did us both some good. Besides, it was a way to get to know the area around Woodshill a bit better.
“Take one with flowers,” she said as she disappeared into the next aisle. “Or the pink one!”
At the end of the row I found a crocheted, cream-colored throw with fringes—a perfect match with the pale blue curtains already in my cart.
“How do you like this one?” I called out, holding up the throw for her to see. Dawn came back around the corner, carrying a reading lamp with a rose-colored lampshade.
“Bingo!”
Kaden would lose his shit if I came home with something like that. But then it wasn’t any of his business how I set up my room.
I’d had to spend the entire past week in the hostel before Kaden could finally give me a key. Turned out the previous tenant had needed more time than he thought to pick up his bed. But today was the day: I was moving into my new room. Kaden still seemed a bit wary when he handed me the key this morning. As if he already regretted his decision. But that was his problem, not mine.
Right after that, Dawn and I set out to shop for my first-ever furniture. I’d saved up some money in high school; I always socked away any cash I’d gotten from tutoring or as birthday gifts from relatives. My little stash would easily cover the cost of everything in my shopping cart. I also had a savings account that Mom had set up, but I only dipped into that in emergencies … or to pay for essentials—like tuition. After all, it wasn’t for nothing that she’d paid into the account for the last few years. It made me sick to think about why she’d given me the money at all. She honestly believed I could be bribed, and that money would make me forget what had happened. She had another thing coming. But even if I couldn’t be bought, I could still exact a kind of revenge by using some of Mom’s money.
I took a deep breath and pushed the dark thoughts to the back of my mind. Back to shopping.
“Do you need another table?” asked Dawn as we wheeled our shopping cart down the next aisle.
“No, the guy who had the room before me left his desk and shelves there. Kaden said if I don’t like the stuff I can get rid of it myself.” I rolled my eyes. “Thank goodness he picked up the bed. It looked disgusting.”
Dawn raised an eyebrow. “That guy sounds lovely.”
“That’s not necessarily the first word I’d choose,” I replied.
Oh man. Hopefully things would work out okay. I didn’t want to give up my room any time soon. The endless search for a place to stay had left me mildly traumatized.
I’d be the perfect tenant. At least, that was my plan.
Kaden wouldn’t find any excuse to throw me out.
“I wish I hadn’t gotten a place in the dorm,” Dawn sighed. “Then we could have rented something together.”
“Yeah, that’s too bad,” I agreed and pushed the cart onward. By now it was nearly full.
“My roommate is a bitch,” Dawn continued. “I’ve only been there two weeks, and she’s already brought three different guys over. With each one she brings back, she kicks me out! I’ve thought about just not leaving, out of protest. But that’s also gross—would you want to have to watch your roommate having sex?”
For a second I winced and shook the image of Kaden’s naked skin, glistening with sweat, from my mind. “No. I wouldn’t want that. Though with us it’s a bit different,” I added.
Maybe my hesitation was too obvious. Dawn glanced at me searchingly, then a grin spread across her face, deepening the dimples in her cheeks.
“Oh yeah? A bit different?” She egged me on, wiggling her eyebrows.
I responded in kind, raising an eyebrow. “Yup. Because I don’t live in the same room with him and don’t have to get up close and personal.”
In a flash Dawn grabbed one of the pillows from the cart and started beating me with it. I dodged the blows, laughing.
“It’s not funny!” She dropped the pillow back into the cart and buried her face in her hands, groaning. “Really not. She doesn’t seem to have any problems finding new guys to hook up with. I mean, we’re in Woodshill! Who would’ve thought that there were so many hotties running around in a small town?”
I had to agree with her. Right now, at the beginning of the semester, there was a cute guy our age on every street corner—one of the advantages of a university town. Hotties as far as the eye could see.
“How about this,” I suggested, hanging my arm over Dawn’s shoulders.
She peeked through her fingers; her hazelnut-brown eyes twinkled. “I’m listening.”
“Just come over to my place if you have problems with your roommate. It’s probably not the optimal solution—you know the rules my roommate set,” I said, making a face, and Dawn snorted with contempt. I’d told her all about my visit, and of course I didn’t spare any details. She found Kaden’s rules just as stupid as I did. “But we can hole up in my room. At least until the storm has passed.”
By now we’d arrived in the department for candles and picture frames. Without thinking I reached for two huge candles that wafted vanilla and coconut. Another thing we’d never had back home. My Mom thought they smelled cheap. But I found the scent heavenly and was already looking forward to the cozy haven that I would create in my room.
“You’re too good, Allie Harper,” Dawn said. She slapped my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. “Thanks.”
I flushed and looked away. No one had ever said anything like that to me. I’ve always been just the super-bitch. The nasty rich girl from next door. The slut. So I didn’t know how to deal with kind words.
Dawn frowned. She seemed to sense my discomfort and changed the subject. “Wanna check out the things up there? They look nice,” she said, pointing to a high shelf with white, ornately designed picture frames. Standing on tiptoes, I managed reach the top shelf.
“Those are cute,” I said, my mind still elsewhere. “But I don’t have any pictures to put in it.”
It had slipped out. Even I could hear how pathetic it sounded. God, hopefully Dawn wouldn’t write me off now as a total loser. After all, it’d been my decision to leave everything behind. The pain I carried inside was heavy enough; I certainly didn’t need photos to remind me of my old life.
“What a bunch of crap. Then we’ll make one ourselves,” Dawn said, grabbing her phone. She stood in front of me so I had to look over her shoulder, and aimed the camera at us.
“Here? Now?” My voice was an octave higher than usual. People walked past, and I felt their eyes on us.
“Yeah, why not?” Dawn replied unconcerned, and smiled broadly at the camera. “And now: Say sexyyy!”
I grinned uncomfortably. My green-gray eyes looked gloomy on the phone screen.
“Screw them!” Dawn jabbed her elbow into my ribs, as other customers stared our way. “Now, say it out loud so everyone in the store can hear it: sexyyy! Come on, Allie!”
It seemed I had no choice. Shaking my head, I grinned and shouted: “SEXYYY!”
And this time the smile was real.
The picture frame was the first decoration that I placed in the room. On the way back, we’d stopped at CVS to print out the photo, and now Dawn and I were smiling down from the windowsill in my room.
Dawn had done the same: Our Target selfie would hang in her room, too. It felt like today we’d laid the foundation for a wonderful friendship.
Dawn made me feel like there really was such a thing. Friendship for its own sake, and not for the sake of getting something from the other person. Without pressure to always do better than the other.
I was proud of us. We’d bought shelves and a big dresser, which fit perfectly behind the door. Since I’d forgotten to measure the room, it was pure luck. We’d already finished assembling the dresser and the second set of white shelves. Now all I needed was to assemble the sofa bed, which looked more complicated. There seemed to be some holes missing underneath, and some of the components didn’t fit in the pullout bedframe. One was longer than the other, which must’ve been a defect. I should have returned it right away, but I didn’t feel like dragging the thing down two stories and driving all the way back to Portland. On top of that, neither Dawn nor I had tools, and without a drill we’d never be able to finish it.
Frustrated, I sank to the floor.
“I’m probably going to have to sleep on this,” I moped, pulling the rolled-up rug to my lap and stroking its soft, bright fake-fur as if it were a pet. Preferably a cat.
“Stop it! We’ll figure this one out,” she growled, kind of reminding me of a Chihuahua. I had to giggle.
Just then I heard the apartment door slam and muffled voices drifting toward us from the hallway. Oh great, the jerk was home.
Dawn’s eyes opened wide. “Should we ask him if he has a drill?” She’d sat up so quickly that she now looked like a meerkat. I giggled again.
“You just want to check him out.”
“And what if I do?” she admitted and practically floated to her feet. She brushed off her shirt, which was covered with wood shavings, and reached back to check her hair, which was twisted into a messy bun. “How do I look?” she asked, giving a little spin.
“I think we both look like we need a shower,” I replied, standing up, as well.
We moved to the door and listened for a second. The other voice was also a man’s. So Kaden wasn’t about to get things on with some woman.
“Do you think it’s a violation of the rules to ask him for a drill?” I whispered, as if they could have heard us.
“Jeez! Don’t let that douche intimidate you like that,” Dawn retorted, stepping back from the door.
I tugged at the hem of my shirt and mulled it over: Of course I didn’t want to be intimidated, but this room was important to me. I didn’t want to get on Kaden’s nerves—especially not on my first day as his roommate.
But before I could give it another moment’s thought, Dawn opened the door and burst into the living room.
“Dawn!” I hissed and hurried after her.
Kaden was in the kitchen grabbing a beer from the fridge. Even from the back—or maybe particularly from the back—he was a knockout. He wore midnight-blue jeans that hugged his butt and a close-fitting dark green shirt that stretched over his shoulders and drew my gaze toward his muscular back. Next to Kaden, leaning against the kitchen counter, stood a black-haired guy. He was tall and kind of lanky. His plaid shirt was loose, its sleeves rolled up to the elbows.
“Hey, you must be that weird roommate!” Dawn stopped in front of the dark-haired guy, who turned toward her in surprise. His inquiring look was remarkably friendly, unlike Kaden’s. “First of all I wanted to tell you that I think your rules are a bunch of crap. I mean, look at you and then look at her.” Dawn gestured toward me—and at that moment I wanted to sink into the floor. Or just disappear altogether. Definitely one of the two. “And I don’t think she has any desire to get it on with you. Besides, it’s awful that you have such a clichéd image of women, painting us all with one brush! How would you even know how we spend our free time? I mean, we could be into wrestling and pro football for all you know.”
Kaden closed the refrigerator door and turned around slowly. He eyed Dawn with a raised eyebrow and watched, bemused, as she berated his friend. It almost looked as if he was smiling.
But not quite.
I slipped behind Dawn and put my hands on her shoulders. Leaning forward, I whispered: “That’s not him.”
She stiffened. “What do you mean, that’s not him?”
I nodded in Kaden’s direction. “This is Kaden, my roommate. Kaden, this is my friend Dawn.”
By now, the other guy was grinning broadly. Deep dimples appeared on his cheeks. He turned to Kaden. “Dude, is it possible that you could have been mean to these ladies?”
Kaden shrugged his shoulders and popped the cap off a beer. He shoved it across the kitchen counter to his friend and opened another, which he lifted to his lips. Then he wiped his hand across his mouth and looked me up and down. He frowned and turned, heading for the couch. He didn’t even look at Dawn. Oh, great.
Otherwise inclined, his friend reached out to shake hands with Dawn and then with me. “I’m Spencer,” he said. “Nice to meet you.”
“Hi,” I replied. “I’m Allie.”
“Heard about you,” he said, glancing briefly in Kaden’s direction. He gave his head a little shake, and his grin widened even more. “And you’re Dawn, the wrestling fan and pro football player.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make a bad impression.” Her voice had gone almost meek, and I couldn’t help laughing.
“Oh, you didn’t. Trust me.” Spencer winked, and for the first time I noticed his brilliant blue eyes. Black hair, blue eyes. What a mix.
While those two were talking, I remembered the real reason why we’d ventured out of my room. If I wanted to have a good night’s sleep, I needed to set up my sofa bed.
“Hey,” I said, lightly kicking the couch behind my roomie. Kaden looked over his shoulder at me, frowning. “Do you happen to have a drill?”
“What do you want a drill for?” he asked, curious but still scowling.
I wanted to say “none of your business,” but changed my mind at the last second. After all, I needed a favor from him. “Somehow, there aren’t enough holes in the wooden frame of my sofa bed,” I said, putting on the friendliest tone I could muster. “I have to drill some new holes.”
Kaden nodded briefly and turned away. “I don’t have a drill.”
It took a second before I understood what he’d said. “So why were you asking why I needed one?”
“I just wanted to know if you really need one, or if you’re just too dumb to read the instructions,” he said, shrugging. Then he picked up the remote from the coffee table and switched on the TV.
I felt a flood of insults rising but dammed them up. “So you mean, you have a drill but don’t want to lend it to me?”
He didn’t even bother looking up from the TV. “You got it.”
Dawn and Spencer had stopped talking and were staring at me.
“Don’t be an ass, bro,” Spencer said finally.
“Yeah. Don’t be an ass, bro,” agreed Dawn. Normally, I would have laughed. But I was practically boiling over with anger. One look at Kaden’s clenched lips told me that he, too, found the situation anything but funny.
He gave me another one of those unbearably mistrustful looks. “You’re on thin ice,” he muttered and rose so suddenly that I drew back and banged my calves on the coffee table. My eyes opened wide as I began to stumble; I flailed my arms wildly to keep my balance. But Kaden had already grabbed me under the arms.
I felt his chest against mine, felt his heart beating.
He blinked and the moment was gone.
Just as suddenly, he let go of me and stormed out of the living room.
I managed to catch my breath, hoping Dawn and Spencer hadn’t noticed. When I turned toward them, they were both looking in the direction of a loud clatter in the hallway.
Kaden appeared at the door. “Here,” he barked, holding up a dark green tool case. “Give it back the way you got it, or else.”
“You could just give us a hand for a second, instead of being such an asshole,” suggested Dawn with a sweet smile. She could be a little devil if she wanted to.
I liked this side of her, but damn, if she didn’t start being nicer to Kaden, I’d have to strangle her. I hated his rude attitude as much as she did, and wished I could’ve tossed one nasty retort at him after the next. He’d have to be given a reality check one of these days. But however unbearable I found him, I still had to spend the coming months in close proximity with him. So I preferred not to get him riled up if I didn’t have to.
“I can do it myself,” I insisted and moved to take the tool case off Kaden’s hands.
“I’ll help,” Spencer said, leaping to his feet. “Where’s the offending item?”
I ignored Kaden’s angry glare and followed Spencer to my room. At least someone was willing to help. The door was open, but before he entered, he cast a questioning glance over his shoulder. I nodded.
“Oh wow! Things have changed since Ethan moved out.”
Spencer took in the perfumed candles and strand of lights, glanced behind the door and noticed the chest of drawers and shelves, on which I’d already placed some of my things.
“It smells like someone ate tons of vanilla ice cream and then threw up in the middle of the room.” Kaden was right behind me.
I turned.
His nose wrinkled in disgust, Kaden surveyed the room, then pushed past me and squatted in front of the sofa bed sections.
“Some holes are missing,” I explained. “We already tried turning the pieces around but that didn’t work either. So I thought we’d have to drill some holes over there,” I said, putting down the tool kit and pointing over Kaden’s shoulder to the faulty section. “I think it would fit together then. But there’s still a piece that’s too long.”
“Maybe we could saw it off,” Dawn suggested.
I shook my head. “I don’t think it would work. That wooden piece would just split and break. This thing has to hold me up all night. I won’t be able to do anything on that bed, as it is!”
Kaden looked up at me from below. Under his thick lashes his twinkled. “Now that would be too bad.”
I rolled my eyes. Spencer chuckled, and I sent him a withering look as well.
“I don’t want to be blamed if Allie’s afraid to do certain things on her bed,” Spencer said with a sigh, placing a hand dramatically on his chest. “We’d better do something about it, man.”
For the first time ever, I saw Kaden White grin. An actual non-sarcastic grin. It was nice—really honest. He didn’t just smile with his mouth; his caramel eyes crinkled up mischievously. “You’re right, we don’t want to be blamed for that.”
With these words, he pulled the toolbox toward him, opened the clasps and reached for the drill.
“My God, that wiped me out,” I groaned, letting myself sink into the living room couch. Dawn plopped down as well, leaning her head on my shoulder.
“Me too. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move again.” She lifted her head slightly and let it fall again. “See?”
“Well, that’s too bad,” Spencer said, sprawled out on the other side of the u-shaped couch. “I thought I heard something about Kaden inviting a few people over later.”
“Oh.” Now I started to worry about what that meant for me. What exactly did “a few” people mean? Would I have to hole up in my room? Back in Lincoln “inviting a few people over” was code for throwing a party.
“Don’t worry. I don’t think he’s planning an orgy.” Spencer winked.
“Actually, I’m so tired I could just hit the sack,” I said, in all seriousness. “How about you?”
“Oh, I’d jump right in,” answered Spencer with a grin.
Dawn and I looked at him, eyebrows raised.
He lifted his hands in apology. “Sorry, but I wouldn’t miss an opportunity like that.”
I rolled my eyes, grinning back at him.
Dawn yawned loudly. “I’m afraid I have to get going. I wanted to call my dad tonight.”
“No problem; should I drive you home?”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s only a ten-minute walk from here. Clean up and settle in.” She sat up and stretched her arms over her head. “Oh, man—my muscles are already sore.”
“I know what you mean.” Moaning, I rubbed my aching shoulders. “Good thing we have tomorrow off. Otherwise I’d be walking into class like a robot.”
Dawn laughed, and together we walked out to the hallway. I gave her a big hug at the door. “Thank you. You saved me. I could never have managed all that on my own.”
“Oh yeah, you would’ve. You’re a strong, independent woman,” Dawn insisted—and I had to smile again. “Text me about Monday,” she added, “Then we can grab a coffee before class.”
Dawn was also majoring in English, but she’d picked out other electives from mine. I was already looking forward to our joint lectures. At least I wouldn’t have to roam that huge campus alone the whole time.
“Of course, I’ll call. And my offer remains: If your roommate gets on your nerves, just come over here.”
“I will,” Dawn said. Before she disappeared into the stairwell, she called out from the hallway, aiming at the living room: “See ya, guys!”
I heard someone mumble; it had to be Spencer, couldn’t be Kaden. Dawn threw me another “don’t let it get you down” look, then closed the door behind her, and I was alone.
I went back into my room, pulled my makeup items together and headed for the bath. For the first time, I inspected the bathroom. It was extremely bright, probably because of the tiles and the little window just over the toilet. As I turned to lock the door behind me, I stopped in my tracks.
What the hell?
I opened the door and peered into the living room. Spencer was alone on the couch, playing with something that looked like the latest Playstation.
“Kaden?” I called out. No answer.
“I think he’s in his room,” Spencer said, without looking up. He nodded toward the one closed door in the apartment.
I hesitated, but then crossed the living room and tapped at the door. No answer. I knocked again. I waited another moment, but when no answer came I pushed down the door handle.
“Hey, is there seriously no lock on the bathroom door?” I spoke into the room.
Before I could make out a single detail, Kaden was standing in front of me, blocking my view.
“It’s one thing to force me to put together your shitty furniture,” he growled. “But bursting into my room while I’m working is going too far.”
Irritated, I frowned up at him. His eyes were burning darkly.
“Sorry, I just wanted to … ”
“I got it already. It’s impossible to ignore you.” He rubbed his forehead. “Listen, my limit for today has been reached.”
“Your limit?” I asked in disbelief.
I’d spent the entire day putting furniture together and setting up my room. I was exhausted and just wanted to take a shower—behind a locked bathroom door, without the fear of Kaden busting in on me and dumping his nastiness on my head.
I put my hands on my hips. “Get real!” I chided him. “First of all, I never made you put my furniture together. You drilled three holes in the wooden frame: big deal. Dawn and I did everything else! And secondly I just wanted to ask you for the key to the bathroom, Kaden. You tell me not to bother you with female troubles, but your mood swings are worse than a woman with PMS!”
Kaden didn’t even bat an eyelid. “I don’t have mood swings, dear. I’m always a pain in the ass.” He grabbed me by the shoulders. His firm grip made the skin tingle under my shirt, and I cursed myself for feeling that way. Then Kaden pushed me from the threshold of his room.
“Now fuck off.”
And he slammed the door in my face.