Chapter 26
He didn’t kiss me.
Instead, he pressed his lips against my cheek and seemed to wait for my answer. But I’d already lost the ability to think rationally.
My pulse was racing, and I could scarcely breathe; I wanted his touch so much, it almost hurt.
“You’re crazy about me?” I whispered, incredulous.
“Pretty crazy. Even though sometimes I have doubts about my sanity. Like when I think about your terrible taste in coffee, or the perfumed candles, or the Taylor Swift CDs—”
I didn’t let him continue. Instead I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed him.
Kaden gave a surprised sound and froze for a second, as if he hadn’t expected this. Then he placed his hands on my back gently, as if I could break if he pressed too hard—and returned the kiss.
It was a slow, intimate kiss, and a tingling sensation traveled the whole length of my body, from my scalp to my toes.
Cautiously he pushed his tongue into my mouth and touched mine. I sighed. I needed more, much more. It felt like I’d wanted him forever—and now we would complete what we had started so long ago.
I pushed my hands under Kaden’s shirt. He froze. His breath was heavy as he said, his lips still on mine, “I don’t know if now is-”
“If you complete that sentence I’ll hurt you,” I murmured back, and ran my fingers down his spine.
He drew a rushing breath and closed his eyes.
“You’re always telling me not to think so much. And I can tell you now that thinking is the last thing on my mind.”
I kissed his neck and nibbled on his skin until he shuddered.
“I’m crazy about you, too, Kaden,” I whispered. “Whatever’s in my past, or your past. That doesn’t change anything.”
I looked up, straight into his hungry eyes. And then his self-control was gone. He pressed me close until I couldn’t breathe, and I dug my fingers into his shoulders. Then he lifted me up as if I were light as a feather, and my legs wrapped themselves around his hips.
His mouth found mine again and our kiss deepened. More intimate. This time he didn’t hold back.
He carried me through the room and stopped at the bed. I loosened my legs from around his waist, and Kaden let me slide down until I stood before him. His eyes were blazing with desire. I looked at him. A shiver ran down my spine. He let his hands wander up from my hips, under my shirt. I groaned as his fingers finally touched my naked skin. Kaden raised my shirt, and I lifted my arms so he could pull it over my head. He tossed it behind him and reached for my bra, which he opened with one quick motion. Kaden was still looking into my eyes and hadn’t even glanced at my body.
I could see how much he wanted me. And I wanted him like I’d never wanted anyone before.
Trembling, I breathed in as he now let his eyes wander over me. Kaden bowed his head and leaned toward me. His breath swept over my neck, and all my nerve endings were electrified when his lips touched my skin. He kissed me, again and again, sliding his tongue over me.
“You are wonderful,” he whispered roughly. “So beautiful.”
He slid further down, kissed and nibbled on the sensitive skin of my breasts. When he placed his lips on my nipples, I let my head fall back and closed my eyes. He sucked on me, and I let out a moan like never before.
Kaden’s hand ran down my back until he reached my bottom. He grabbed me there while circling his tongue around my nipple.
I buried my hands in Kaden’s hair as he bent over me, his lips gliding downward. He stopped at the waist of my jeans, opened the button with skillful fingers and pushed them down to my ankles. I kicked them off.
Kaden looked up at me through his dark, thick eyelashes. His breathing was as fast as mine. Never before in my life had I felt so wanted.
“You’re wearing too much,” I panted and tugged at his collar. A half-smile spread across his face. He rose, without taking his eyes off me. Then he pulled his shirt over his head in one flowing motion.
My eyes devoured his perfect abs and followed the trail of little hairs that wandered downward from his navel. When I discovered the bulge in his pants, I caught my breath.
“Do you have any idea how often I’ve thought of you at night?” he whispered. Slowly, unbearably slowly, he reached down, opened his button and peeled off his jeans. “I’ve wanted you since the moment I first saw you in my apartment, in those damned shorts.”
Unable to speak, I hoped my kiss would say it all. Kaden put his hands on my waist and lifted me up. A second later I was lying on the bed with Kaden on top of me, his arms to either side of my head and his legs between mine. I threw my legs around Kaden’s hips and pushed up against him. Feeling his hard arousal, I trembled.
Kaden took his time—he stroked me, kissed, sucked, and licked every inch of my skin.
“Oh God,” I sighed.
Then he hooked his fingers under the waistband of my panties. I raised my head. Kaden looked up at me with dark caramel eyes.
“Are you sure, Allie?” His voice was deep and raw.
“I’m not a virgin,” I whispered.
“That’s not what I’m asking.” He tugged at the waistband of my panties. Then he sat back, put his hands around my hips and lifted me into his lap. I panted and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “I want to know if you’re sure about this. Just because it’s not your first time, doesn’t make it less important.”
This was important for Kaden as much as for me. He trusted me. I trusted him. So there was only one possible answer to his question.
I stroked his hair. “Yes,” I whispered. “I’m sure. I want this. And I trust you.”
It was enough for him. In one sweeping motion he laid me back on the bed and pulled my panties off. His fingers stroked my inner thighs, then he pushed them apart, and a second later I felt his warm mouth right at my very center.
Kaden’s tongue swirled lightly around my most sensitive spot, and I gasped. With one hand I clawed at the blanket, with the other I held on to Kaden’s hair, while he took my breath away with his mouth.
“Kaden.” I sighed his name, again and again.
His tongue glided in teasing, circling movements. He grasped my thighs and held me tight. I arched my back, almost desperately, as his kisses became even hotter, even more intense.
And then he stopped. I groaned in frustration and was about to protest when he began to spread a trail of hot kisses from the inside of my thighs to my belly, my breasts, up to my forehead.
“You’re driving me crazy,” I whispered into his lips and felt how his stomach muscles twitched at my touch. I let my hands roam over his skin, exploring his body, and wrapped my legs around his hips.
Kaden let out a deep, guttural cry as I pressed against him and began to move my hips.
“You’re wearing too much.”
Before I could blink, Kaden had rolled off me and pulled off his boxer shorts. My eyes wandered over his naked body, his muscles, his tattoos, farther down … He reached out to his nightstand to find a condom, and I watched him as he slipped it on.
Then his body was back over mine, and Kaden stroked my cheeks. “We can stop any time,” he murmured. “Any time. Okay?”
I nodded and placed my hands on his shoulders, to pull him back down toward me.
“I have to hear you say it, Allie.” I felt him trembling above me.
“Okay, Kaden,” I whispered and looked at him. “I want you. I want you so badly, it hurts. Please, please come here.”
He shifted his weight and lowered himself onto me. He kissed me passionately and at the same time I felt him at my opening. I spread my legs even farther apart and gasped as he began to push into me.
He paused for a second. “Is it okay?”
I nodded, and because I was afraid this answer might not be enough, I raised one leg over his hip to pull him deeper inside.
“Oh, God,” Kaden groaned next to my ear. “Oh, God, Allie.”
And then he pushed all the way in.
I gasped and dug my fingers into Kaden’s arms. He withdrew from me slightly, only to push back a second later.
My desire spread so hot and quick that it felt as if my whole body was on fire. I wished this could have been my first time, and consoled myself with the fact that at least in one sense it was a first—I’d never opened myself so much to anyone, never given so much of myself.
His motions were still slow and controlled. But I didn’t want him to hold back: I wanted him to let go. So I whispered onto his lips: “I won’t break, Kaden. Take me harder.”
As if he’d been waiting for these words, a groan broke from his chest and he thrust harder, faster. Deeper. I moaned, dragged my fingernails over his back and pressed against him.
“You feel … unbelievable,” Kaden cried and pressed his mouth against my throat. His hand reached for mine and held it over my head on the mattress. Our fingers tangled together as Kaden penetrated deeper into me.
“Kaden!” I groaned as my orgasm shook my body. Kaden’s hips ground against mine, now without any rhythm or subtlety. Each impact sent another wave rolling through me.
Kaden moaned my name and released his hand from mine to embrace me. He buried his face in my neck and pushed one last time before a shudder ran through his body and his hips began to twitch.
It took a while before my pulse had calmed. I felt Kaden’s heart beating against mine and closed my eyes. I didn’t know how much time had passed. At some point, Kaden rolled off me and lay down alongside me. Leaning on an elbow, he looked into my eyes. Then he leaned over me and kissed me.
“That was … amazing,” I whispered hoarsely and stroked his chest, his shoulders, his arms.
“And how.” He kissed me again, slow and deep, and promised me so much more than just a physical connection. Now it was all too much; I couldn’t handle the emotions. And then it happened.
I had to cry.
Kaden caressed my face, kissed my tears away, and with his powerful presence drove out my dark memories to make room for new ones.