Chapter Twenty-Three
Adam
Wednesday
I just stepped out of the shower when I heard it. At first I assumed it was in my mind, that I was simply hearing things or that it was just the house settling itself again, but it quickly became obvious that wasn’t the case, at all. There was someone knocking at the door, and judging by the way they were petering out they’d been going on for a while.
“Just coming, hold on!” I called out while grabbing onto the nearest tee shirt. I didn’t have time to get pants, too so I wrapped the towel tightly around my waist to cover up my bottom half. I wasn’t sure how decent I was but I didn’t want to keep whoever it was waiting any longer. “Be right there.”
I pulled the door open and smiled at the face standing on the other side of it. It was a surprise, but a very pleasant one. “Hello there,” she said playfully, holding out a box of chocolates. “Just thought I’d drop by unexpectedly and give you these.”
I loved that Lindsey was ballsy enough to just turn up out of the blue, confident enough in herself to believe that I liked her. She wasn’t arrogant about it, she just understood that this was something. If she didn’t, she probably would have messaged me beforehand. I was glad that she didn’t, I wanted her to be comfortable.
“Why, thank you.” I took the box from her. “Do you want to come inside? I’m just about to head out to the orphanage for the day, but you’re more than welcome to come in until then.”
A part of me considered not going into the orphanage today to spend time with Lindsey instead, but I hadn’t ever let the kids down before, and I didn’t want to start now.
As Lindsey followed me inside, I wondered if she knew how naked I was underneath my towel. The idea that she might whip it down before seducing me sent an excitable thrill racing up and down my spine. I feared if I kept thinking along those lines I might spring to attention and show her without the need to whip anything down.
I didn’t want to be inappropriate, but if she initiated it, I sure as hell wasn’t going to turn her down.
“I wanted to talk to you about that actually… Would you mind if I came with you again?” she asked me coyly. “I had a really awesome time last time.”
“Oh right, of course you can come.” I smiled to myself, glad that she wanted to. The kids loved her and wanted her around and I sure as hell did too. It was always fun at the orphanage, brightening up the kid’s days, but with Lindsey by my side that would be even better. “That would be cool. Are you sure you didn’t have anything better to do?”
“Than hang out with you? No, of course not,” she told me playfully. I loved the teasing in her tone, it was sweet and alluring. “Only if you’re sure you want me.”
“Well, there’s always playing to do and cooking, too. I won’t turn down the world class chef that you are.”
She rolled her eyes and chuckled at me. “Alright, no need to be like that about it. I’ll help you cook, but I’m making no promises about the quality of what I’ll produce.”
“Maybe I’ll keep you out the kitchen then.” I squeezed her arm playfully. “I’m just going to get dressed. I’ll be back in a minute.”
As I pulled my clothes on I grinned to myself with sheer happiness. I couldn’t believe how well things were going with me and Lindsey, I was so damn lucky. Things could have gotten really awkward really fast between us after all that had happened, but it hadn’t.
Once I got back into the kitchen, Lindsey was looking at her phone, completely oblivious to the rest of the world. I watched her for a while with my shoulder leaned up against the doorframe. Her expression and face were so beautiful when she didn’t think anyone was looking at her. She had an angelic appearance. Of course, I also enjoyed the devilish side of her.
Stop that, I warned myself. Today we have a job to do. This isn’t a day for that.
Eventually she sensed me looking up at her and her eyes met mine. There was no denying the bolt in my chest as we connected. I coughed and pushed myself upwards as I realized my cheeks were reddening. She was making me feel all kinds of things that I hadn’t before and I liked it a lot. Sure it was scary, but I didn’t want to focus too much on the fear. I just wanted to enjoy the moment while it lasted.
“Are you ready to get going?” I nodded towards the front door. I needed to move before I lost my mind and devoured her whole. “The bacon won’t cook itself.”
“I thought I wasn’t allowed in the kitchen!” She grinned and jumped up, while shoving her phone into her bag once more. “Let’s get going.”
As she walked towards the door I couldn’t stop myself from staring at her ass. That girl looked damn good as she walked away from me. I couldn’t believe there was ever a time when I believed we didn’t have any chemistry. It sizzled between us all the time. I must have been in denial. I couldn’t have missed it, it was intense. The most powerful sensation in the world. It threatened to consume me whole if I let it.
Well now that I was aware of it, I couldn’t ignore it again!
***
“Are you singing?” Lindsey asked me in a shocked tone as she came up behind me in the kitchen, where despite all my protests I’d ended up letting her in willingly. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sing before.”
“Oh, that’s because I haven’t taken you to karaoke yet,” I laughed. “Wait til you see me up on the stage rocking the mic. It’ll make my kitchen singing seem like nothing at all.”
Lindsey’s tinkling giggles lit up the whole kitchen. She brought a brand new atmosphere to the place. Rose had been absolutely ecstatic about seeing Lindsey again, and so had the rest of the kids. They all hoped that she would come around more – and so did I.
“Now that is something I really want to see. But I don’t know if that’s something you’ll be able to beat me at. I kick ass with the seventies glam rock tunes.”
Again I was struck by the sensation that she wasn’t like anyone I ever met before. She had a carefree side to her, a bit of her that didn’t mind looking foolish, and I loved that. She didn’t seem to be struck by the same curse as the rest of the world where self consciousness made it challenging to just be. It was utterly refreshing.
“Excellent, now I have to take you.”
I scanned my eyes out the hole in the wall to watch the children all curled around the television to watch a movie. The owner here had such a great set up; the kids never seemed short of anything. Sometimes it made it difficult for me to remember that they’d lost one of the most important things in the world. They didn’t have a family – at least not a biological one.
“They’ve enjoyed today, haven’t they?” Lindsey asked softly. “The meal you cooked was really nice, too. You are good for these kids. Every time I see you with them it strikes me how much they need you.”
My chest swelled with pride and joy. It was so awesome to get that praise from someone else, especially Lindsey, whose opinion I really cared about. Also it meant a lot because she’d been through a similar thing herself…or so I thought. I still didn’t know any of the details about what had happened to her parents and while I desperately wanted to know what had gone on, I wasn’t going to push it. I just had to be patient and wait for her to be ready.
All of a sudden, I felt Lindsey’s arms snake around my waist as she stood behind me pressing her body up against me. I leaned back into her and let her hold me for a moment. I didn’t even worry about what the moment meant. I just enjoyed it for what it was. A lot of being with Lindsey involved living in the moment.
“Do you think you’ll ever have kids one day?” I asked without thinking much. I didn’t even consider how that might sound to the woman I was sort of seeing as we stood in a very romantic pose. “I mean, I just…” I stammered as my cheeks reddened and my heart rate kicked up a notch. “I don’t mean… I was just taking about…”
“I know,” she laughed while she stepped away from me. “I know what you meant. I guess I haven’t thought about it much. I haven’t really found myself in a situation where I needed to, you know?”
That meant she hadn’t been in any serious enough relationships before. I wasn’t sure why, but that made me feel really good. I didn’t want to have some ghost from her past to compete with. Not that we were at that stage, I suppose, but I still didn’t like the idea of her holding on to feelings for someone else.
“Yeah, I suppose it’s not something you consider until it might actually happen.” I shrugged, hoping that I’d come across as blasé. “I see what you mean there.”
She cocked her head towards me and gave me a curious look. Her eyebrows furrowed and she narrowed her eyes. “What about you? You spend a lot of time with kids and you’re great with them. Do you think you might have children one day?”
I could feel my face darken; maybe I shouldn’t have brought this subject line up since I didn’t much want to answer the question myself. Not really.
“I don’t know,” I replied quietly. “Without much of a decent fatherly role model, I haven’t really considered what I might be like as a parent. What if I turned out as terrible as him?”
Lindsey laughed, but it wasn’t nastily. “Adam, if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that you won’t turn out anything like your father when you’re a parent.” She rubbed my arm reassuringly.
“The kids here respect you, love you, and really look up to you. When it’s one of your own, I’m sure it’ll be even better. They say the love you feel for them is boundless, so just imagine how much better you’ll be then? You’re an excellent role model, too.”
The compliments swirled through my system and boosted me up. Lindsey probably saw the best in everyone, but the fact that she could see the best in me right now felt incredible. I wasn’t sure that I totally deserved her kind words, but they felt so good. Maybe I wouldn’t be anything like my father. Maybe I would actually be much better as a dad because I knew what not to do. He’d given me many lessons on how to be the shittiest parent ever. I could just use that and do the opposite.
Not that I was thinking about having kids right now. Hypothetically maybe, but that was it. Maybe I’d changed my mind about commitment a little bit, but that was a step too far for now.