Chapter Thirty-Six
Lindsey
Saturday
“Okay, thank you, Lindsey. You did a really great job.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief as the gentleman running the audition smiled warmly at me. I really tried, as hard as I possibly could with my acting then and I was so pleased to find out that it had paid off. From the look on his face, his remark was genuine.
“Oh that’s wonderful, thank you,” I gushed. “And, thank you for seeing me. I really appreciate it.” Was I bobbing my head too hard? I wasn’t sure, I felt a little foolish.
“So, I take you’ve read through all the script?” He peered over his glasses. “You know that there’s some semi nudity there?” I nodded slowly. I still hadn’t worked out how I felt about that quite yet. “And you’re happy with that? It’s going to be a tasteful scene without much showing. I just want to know before we proceed with this. I don’t want you to back out later on.”
Oh shit, it was time. The moment had come way before I was prepared for it. I certainly wasn’t being given any time to think things through now. No space, no hours agonizing. I needed to decide if this acting game was something that I wanted to go along with.
I could almost hear the clock taunting me as I tried to think hard. My heart pounded in my ears, my brain raced. I did like the script, it was awesome, it was something I could see myself in. If the nudity wasn’t an issue I’d jump on it, I’d love it and feel like it was about to re spark my career…but the nudity was there. Could I do it?
“No,” I heard myself whisper before I’d even thought about it fully. “That won’t be a problem at all. If it’s done tastefully, I don’t mind.”
Denise’s pride raced through me, I could almost feel her clapping me on the back. I felt like if I went into this with strength and demanded that things were done in a way that I liked, not in a diva way, more in a morals way, then surely it would be okay?
“That’s great.” He straightened out some papers on the table. “Someone will be in touch.”
I thanked the guy again and left the room with a sense of achievement in my chest. At least that went well, and at the end of the day I still could change my mind before I went through it if it came down to it. I didn’t have to do it.
With a small smile on my lips, I pulled my cell phone out of my bag to call Denise as soon as I got outside. This was going to be good news, and focusing on this rather than the heart break I suffered in my chest, things could only get better…
What the…
My eyes bugged out of my head as I saw the number of missed calls on the screen, and all from the one person I was trying my hardest to forget. It was damn typical that now, right as I was about to move on, he called me now. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to call him back… But then he’d called me so many times that I could hardly ignore him. What if it was an emergency?
I stomped loudly down the street as I waited for him to answer. Emotions swirled and churned inside me and I wasn’t even sure how I felt. Was I angry or upset? Hurt or furious? I just couldn’t tell.
“Hello?” A tone gushing answered, but it definitely wasn’t Adam. “Lindsey, is that you?”
“Erm, yeah. Who’s this?”
“It’s Max. I met you New Year’s Eve.”
“Oh, right of course. I remember.” His stressed words were making me panic. I didn’t know what the hell was going on and it sent me into a state of sheer worry. “Has something happened?”
“It’s Adam.” Oh God. My heart sunk into my shoes, I felt like I might vomit at any given moment. “His mother is in the hospital.”
“Oh my God, Debbie? Has something happened?” Of course it had! Why would she be in the hospital if it hadn’t?
“She got a virus. The MRSA one. It’s bad, it’s really bad.”
“Shall I come?” Instantly I wanted to be by his side. I didn’t care what had come before. “Does he want me there?”
“I’ll be honest with you, he hasn’t asked for you, but I really think he needs you.”
Of course, I was going to go. It didn’t matter that we’d argued, it didn’t matter that everything had gone tits up, I didn’t even care that he’d turned me away, I just cared that he needed me right now. “I’m on the way. I’ll be there as soon as I can be. I’ll just hop into a cab.” I held out my arm to try and stop a car. “I won’t be long.”
“Thank you, Lindsey. I really appreciate it.”
Finally, a car stopped and I jumped into it. I couldn’t think about anything but Adam and his mother. My audition was forgotten on top of everything else. Nothing else mattered but him. His mother had some virus, I couldn’t believe it, she seemed fine the last time I saw her, but wasn’t MRSA one of those ones that could just ravage through a body in a day? I didn’t know much about it, but it didn’t sound good.
When we arrived at the hospital, I threw some bills at the driver and leapt out the car. I raced into the building, knocking people out of the way as I went, but my eyes were on the prize. I raced the reception and just as I was about to beg the receptionist to tell me where to go, I spotted Max.
“Oh my God, Max.” I grabbed onto his arm. “I’m here, what’s going on?”
He grabbed onto my arm and pulled my down the hallway without saying anything. I could tell by the red rims around his eyes that things weren’t good, and that made me feel ill. Debbie couldn’t be gone, I couldn’t stand that. It was just too much. I knew better than anyone how much it killed to lose a parent, and I didn’t wish that on anyone.
“Adam.” I let out a deep breath as I spotted him slumped on the ground outside the hospital room. He was in such a heap that it was clear the end had come quickly and suddenly. “Oh my God.” I fell to the ground next to him and wrapped my arms around him. Without even thinking about it, Adam fell into my embrace and sobbed against my shoulder. Everything froze. It was only me and him in this bubble of intense sadness. “I’m here, Adam,” I whispered to him. “I’m here. I’m so sorry.”
“I need you, Lindsey, I need you,” he told me. I can’t do this without you.”
My heart broke for him, and I fell everything shatter. I knew he would be a mess for a very long time. At least I could be there though, at least I could be here for him. For as long as it took.
***
Hours passed in a haze of misery. I couldn’t do too much, but I helped out where I could. His father managed to take charge, despite the fact that he was clearly broken himself, and even Brandon was useful. It seemed that as sad as it was, Debbie’s death had managed to unite them for just a few moments. She would like that – it was just a shame that it had to happen in such a horrific way.
“I didn’t want to come home,” Adam muttered pitifully as I got him through the front door. “I want to be back at the hospital.”
“I know you do.” I rubbed his back reassuringly. “But your dad told you to leave, he said you need some rest, Brandon, too. You need some sleep and there’s nothing else you can do.”
I walked him over to the couch and sat him down. There was such heart break in his eyes that it made me want to weep for him. I was keeping strong despite the fact that I was sad myself, because it was all that I could do.
“What am I going to do?” he asked sadly. “I don’t know what to do now?”
“I know you don’t.” I sat down beside him. “I remember that feeling well, but it’s important to remember that you have to carry on. It might not happen right away but you need to find a way to continue. Your mother wouldn’t want you to be a mess forever, would she?”
He shook his head and sniffed back some more tears. “No, I know. She even said that to me. It just feels like the end of the world.” He stared at me intensely and I had to gulp back because it felt so devastating. “I know you don’t like to talk about it, but can I ask you something?”
I nodded, already preparing myself for what was going to come. I could tell, it was obvious he’d want to know now. The time had come and there was no way I could turn him down.
“What happened to your parents?”
I sighed loudly and steeled myself, trying to prepare myself for saying the things I tried my hardest to keep inside. “It happened when I was sixteen. It was a car crash.” I gulped, it hurt to say these words. “I was in the back of the car, and I don’t even really know what happened. I think that my dad got distracted for a moment and…well, something smashed into the side of the car.”
“Oh my God.” He gripped onto my hands and stared at me. “Were you okay? What happened?”
“I wasn’t for a while. I was in hospital for a long time afterwards, and so was my dad.” I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the tears inside. “My mom died instantly, she… The crash basically tore her body apart.” I couldn’t stand thinking about it; the images my brain created were dreadful.
“But it put my dad in a coma until they had to turn the life support machine off. Because I was so young they decided not to tell me until I was better myself, so I didn’t know until I was just about to leave the hospital that I was alone in the world. That was… Well, it wasn’t the best news to hear. It destroyed me more than the accident did. I was much too young for that news.”
Adam grabbed me and squeezed me tight. “You’re so strong,” he whispered into my ear. “So much stronger than me. I can learn from you. I need you to help me through this.” I didn’t feel strong, I felt like I was just getting by every day, but I was too upset to vocalize that. Remembering everything simply had it all flooding to the surface again. “I’m sorry for everything that I said. I didn’t mean any of it. Please, just stick with me. I need you.”
“Yes,” I said thickly. “I will be there for you. You know I will. Whatever you need.”
He grabbed my chin and he tilted my face towards him. His eyes were filled with something that looked a lot like love. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered. “Thank you so much.”
Then he kissed me gently and told me exactly what he wanted from me. He really wanted me to be there, and I was more than willing. The past was the past now, none of that mattered. It was all about the future from here on out.