Chapter Seven
Roy – Friday
I already knew that I wasn’t about to get any work done on the fence today before I even woke up because on Fridays, I liked to try and get to the office, just to show my face for a short while. No one really needed me there and I never got much done, but I felt like it looked good, and I hoped that it gave staff confidence in me. They had probably heard all kinds of things about me, and I wanted to show them I was normal.
I tugged my tailored designer suit from my closet and yanked it on my body, already feeling alien in it. It fit me well because it was designed to, but I just didn’t like it. I preferred to be casual, in my jeans and tee shirts. I didn’t feel right this way – it was the main reason I could never fit in living in the city and working a nine-to-five finance job. That would kill me.
“Sorry, Tank,” I told my dog sadly. “I have to leave you here today, but I won’t be gone for long.” He whined at me, giving me sad eyes to make me feel guilty, but unfortunately, I couldn’t budge. Not this time. “I’ll get you some treats while I’m out.”
I straightened up my collar and walked out towards the door. This time, I walked past my beat-up truck, towards the small car that I had for journeys such as this one. Sure, I could have a Lamborghini like Lewis or something else as fancy as that, but I just didn’t feel the need. I liked living the quieter life, and that had been giving me pause for thought over the last few months.
I had slowly been forming a plan in my mind, one that would allow me to keep to myself even more, and I’d finally made the decision to just go through with it, which was also why I needed to go to the office to discuss my new steps forward with Lewis.
The half an hour journey into the next town where my office block was set up felt like it simply flew by because I was in my head so much, thinking about the best way to present my new plan. And, I still hadn't managed to come up with anything. I would just have to get in there and wing it, hoping that everything would be fine.
“Hello, Mr. Larkin,” one of the younger members of staff gushed as soon as I walked through the door. He was almost bowing at me in his eagerness to impress, which made me feel uncomfortable.
“It’s Roy, please,” I smiled thinly at him, judging him as an intern due to his oversized suit that clearly belonged to his father. “Is Lewis in?”
“I think he’s in his office…” he trailed off behind me as I walked forward, anxious to get this plan rolling.
I knocked lightly on the door, my pulse going crazy, but as Lewis swung the door to his office open and he extended his arms to me, I felt like everything would be okay. He would understand why I needed to do what I was about to do, and everything was going to work out. He embraced me closely, discussing business stuff with me, but I wasn’t really listening. I had too much on my mind.
“Come in,” he prompted and indicated towards his desk. “Take a seat; we could discuss your meeting in St. Louis now that you’re here.”
“Yeah, sounds good…” In all honesty, I had totally forgotten about the meeting with the shareholders, and I really wasn’t looking forward to it. “Are you going to come with me?”
“I can’t,” he told me regretfully. “I have too much to take care of here, but I’ve already written your speech, so I think you’ll be okay.”
To be polite, I scanned my eyes quickly over the piece of paper he handed me. I didn’t really have to read it because I knew it would be fine, but I didn’t want to give the impression that I didn’t care. “Thank you for this. I really do appreciate it.”
“That’s okay, and I will have my phone with me the entire time, so if you need anything while you’re there, I’ll be on hand.”
“Thank you,” I grinned at him, waiting for a couple of moments before launching into the real reason that I was there. “Look, I do have some things that I want to discuss with you while I’m here and they might come as a bit of a shock, so I implore you to hear me out before you say anything.”
Lewis glanced up at me, seeming to sense just how serious I was before nodding briskly and sitting back in his chair, allowing him to focus solely on me rather than the paperwork sitting in front of him.
“Okay, well first off, I just want to say how proud I am of you. You came into my life when I was really struggling with things, and you were too, just in a different way. You were at a crossroads of your life where things could have gone either way, you could have gone deeper into the pit you were stuck in or you could have dug yourself out. Luckily for me, you took the right path.”
I grinned at him, but he couldn’t seem to muster up the same happiness. He was simply looking at me as if I’d gone crazy, which in a way, I guessed that I had. “You left gambling far behind you, and you threw yourself into the business, helping me out when I needed you the most, and I honestly couldn’t have done it without you.”
“I… I don’t know what to say,” he gasped in shock. “I mean, you already know how grateful I am for everything that you’ve done for me. I hope that I’ve shown you that over the years.”
“And then some!” I exclaimed excitedly. “You’ve been dedicated to me and my company for a lot longer than you needed to be, and I appreciate that.”
“Well, no problem…” He looked totally blown away, which was where I hoped I would be before having to ask the next question.
“Well, what I want to tell you is that I’m done with the company.” As I spoke, Lewis’s face went totally white, which proved to me that I’d worded this totally wrong. He was already getting the wrong idea, which wasn’t what I wanted. “No, no, it isn’t that. I mean, for me it is, but that’s because I’ve made all the money that I need.”
“What are you saying?” he asked cautiously, still freaking out.
“Well, you know me. I don’t need stuff; I’ve never been about that, so I have definitely made enough money to live off for the rest of my life. So, I want this trip to St. Louis to be the last thing I do for this business. After that, I want to sign it all over to you.”
“What?” He stood up, sliding his chair loudly backwards in shock. “What are you saying?”
I grinned happily, glad to be able to do such a nice thing for my friend. He had more than proven to me that he could be trusted, and I knew that he would do a good job with it all. “I want you to have the company. You have worked hard at it, and you deserve it. I’m done with it; this is what I want to happen.”
“I… I…” he started, shocked by my suggestion.
“Look, you don’t have to give me an answer now, just wait until I get back. Think about it, decide if this is something you might like to do, and just…let me know. No pressure, okay?”
I stood up and walked from the office, knowing that a life had been changed for the better. Lewis might not have had an answer for me now, but he would come around to the concept of owning the business, I just knew it.
I hope that you’re proud, Shelley, I thought to myself, like I occasionally did whenever I felt strong enough to think about my wife. I think I did something good, and I hope it works out for the best.
A bolt of warmth ran through me, one that was probably in my mind, but that I decided to imagine was her giving me her blessing. I allowed it to put a massive grin on my face. After that, I wandered about the office, allowing anyone who needed to to ask me any questions, which they did happily. Once I felt like they were all done, I made the brave decision to head over to the gravesite to take some flowers to my wife. Admittedly, I neglected her grave a lot of the time because it stirred up too many emotions, but right now, I had the need to go and see her, to pay my respects.
As I sat by her grave, I recalled how we first met, feeling the warmth of that moment filling me up.
I had been at the local bar, having a few pints with a friend, and I saw her standing across the bar, waiting to order a drink. It was like a light was shining on her, making her stand out from everyone else, and I knew in that moment that my life would never be the same again. There was just something about her, that small, red-haired, fiery beauty, that drew me in, and I knew at once she had a grip on my heart that would never let go.
As she turned to face me and our eyes connected, a rush of love just flew between us, and we were drawn to one another like magnets. We moved nearer and talked all night long, exchanging numbers as soon as last call was announced, already making plans to see one another again. Shelley had only just moved to town, so she was glad to have someone show her around, and I was more than happy to be that guide for her.
On our first official date, we shared our first kiss, and I knew then that she would be the woman that I went on to marry. Of course, I didn’t propose until we’d been dating for much longer because I didn’t want to freak her out. I felt like I was the luckiest man alive when she said yes. It was all during the period where I was starting to make my money, but neither of us cared about that. We were just happy to be together, no matter what.
When she passed, and I lost my mind, she would have been ashamed of me. I lost myself in drunkenness and one-night stands for a while, just wanting to feel something, but I hoped that now she would see I was trying. Of course, I wasn’t there, but I was making an effort, and I hoped that would be enough.
I miss you, I thought as I laid the flowers down on her headstone. I miss you so much. But for the first time, being at her grave felt a little therapeutic, like it was exactly what I needed. I started to feel like it was something I should do a little more often, just to get some of my emotions off my chest. I will always love you, Shelley, but I do hope to move on at some point in my life. I don’t want to be stuck in this pit of misery forever.
If only I could find the right person to make that happen.