“I understand. And I hope she shows up. You know, maybe she was waiting until tonight or even tomorrow to come to you. As a Christmas surprise, you know?”
Closing my eyes, I picture her showing up on my doorstep. A red corset on and a Santa hat. A bottle of wine in one hand and her lips pursed for a kiss.
“I hope like hell, you’re right, Father. You have a Merry Christmas. I will talk to you tomorrow.”
“You too, Nicholai.”
Our call is ended and I am left wondering what in the hell I can do to make sure I get to spend Christmas with the woman I love.
Where in the hell could she be?
NATASHA
James came sometime during the night and left the things I am to wear to the ceremony tonight. I found the box on the coffee table in the living room. A note was on top of the red box.
I am to fast today. Eat and drink nothing until he comes for me. I know that’s because he wants to make sure I am too weak to put up a fight. He’s a smart man, never underestimating my power at all times.
It’s almost as if he can read my mind. I had planned to go through with actually trying to kill the man. With a solid hit to his nose, the way my father taught me to. But he’s placed a set of handcuffs in the box and I am to cuff my hands before his arrival.
The attire he’s making me wear is more than I am comfortable with. Or perhaps I should say less. It’s merely straps of black leather that run under my breasts and around my upper thighs. I will be completely exposed.
A red cloak will cover me as he transports me to wherever this ceremony will occur. I will wear no shoes, it seems, as none were in the box.
I am to wash my hair and put it into a slicked back ponytail. The mask I have to wear is huge, covering my entire face. I will not be recognizable at all.
Looking at my reflection in the full-length mirror in the bedroom, I’m shaking my head as I look at my body in this so-called outfit. The scar from where I fell out of a tree when I was twelve shows. It’s under my left breast and is quite large as I was impaled by a limb and had to go to the hospital with the injury.
The limb barely missed piercing my heart. It was a miracle, the doctors all said. Running my hand over the large scar, I recall it was also on Christmas Eve when it happened all those years back.
I was climbing the tree with my cousins in our grandmother’s backyard. When I fell, it pretty much ruined that Christmas. But all of my family came to see me at the hospital and I got way more presents than anyone else did.
I’ve always worn bathing suits that hid the scar. I hate it. And now I have to go out in front of a bunch of people, completely bared to them, including my ugly scar.
Unable to fight it back any longer, the desperateness of the situation overwhelms me. I fall to the floor and hide my face on the carpet. I can’t stop the sobs from coming out of me.
Loudly, I wail. I’ve never felt more hopeless. No one can save me!
No matter how loud I cry, all will think it’s an act. No matter how much I beg for help, they will think I am adding to the drama of the act.
The squeal of the intercom draws my attention and I raise my head to look up at the camera in my room as James’ voice fills it. “Finally, I thought you’d never crack.”
“Please, James. Please, let me go,” I beg as I look into the camera. “I can’t go through with this. I can’t!”
“You can go free. It will mean Nicholai will be ruined. Get dressed and I will let you out,” he says.
“What will you do to ruin Nic?” I ask, as maybe I can get away from him and go to my father and let him know what he’s doing to Nic.
“I have seven different ways to send the man to prison. Hell, I’ll let you choose the method of his demise if you’d like. All can be immediately deployed. He will be picked up by the authorities before I let you go free.”
My heart falls and I know I can’t let that happen to Nic. “I will stay. Leave him alone. I will honor the bond we signed.”
“Good to hear. Now, please, feel free to cry some more. It gets me off and I’m bored at the moment. If it makes you feel any better, Nicholai has been at the club every night and I think during the days too. He’s kept a redhead with him everywhere he goes. I do believe you’ve been replaced.”
Not able to take it any longer, I pull my body up off the floor and throw myself onto the bed. He may be lying to me or he may be telling me the truth. I have no idea. I just know I will be at the mercy of the man on the damn intercom sometime tonight and I can already feel the burning flesh on the back of my neck from the brand he’ll be putting on me.
As I cry into the pillow, I have to wonder why my father doesn’t have people looking for me. Surely, my parents know I’m the kind of woman who calls when I get to places I’m going. I’m the kind of person who checks in on a daily basis.
With no money, phone, or even decent clothes to go outside in, even if I could get out of the apartment, I am stuck. I suppose I could get out but it would set off alarms, and most likely send one of James’ plans against Nic into action. So, I sit here, waiting for the inevitable. Waiting to become James Hawthorne’s very real sex slave.
All hope is gone of being saved. No one will ever recognize me. My fate has been set. One I never saw coming.
I should’ve never stepped foot in the fucking Billionaire Bad Boy Club!
NICHOLAI
After making repeated phone calls to Natasha’s parents without getting any answer, I’ve decided they must be on their way to New York to see if they can find her. Leaving me out of everything.
But that was to be expected. The day has come and gone and the eleven o’clock hour has just rolled in. My cell lights up with a text and I see it’s from Hawthorne. ‘Will you be at the ceremony?’
His insistence on me being at his damn ceremony to welcome his new slave to our society is annoying, to say the least. After spending a few hours at the club that night after the FBI interrogation, attempting to occupy my mind with poker and failing miserably, I’ve stayed home only to have repeated texts from him to join him at the club.
Why he wants to suddenly be best buddies is a thing I not only do not understand but am growing tired of, quite rapidly. I place the phone on the table beside my bed where I have already retreated to. There is the slightest hope Natasha will surprise me at midnight, so I want to be all ready for her arrival. If that happens.
My screen lights up again and I grab it up, ready to pound out a text for him to leave me the fuck alone. Only it’s a number I don’t recognize and it says, ‘Something’s not right about Natasha.’
‘Who is this?’ I text back.
‘Her mother. Her father and I came to look for her but she’s not in the apartment the man gave us as her address. The doorman has never seen her, as we showed him a picture. I’ve asked Norman if we could call you but he’s told me to leave you out of it. I’m worried, though.’
After a long moment, I text back, ‘I need to know the name of the man who gave her the job and apartment.’
‘He said not to tell you that. He also told me not to tell her father. I’m acting like I don’t know his name. Ask me anything else,’ she texts back.
‘What company is she interning for?’ I ask in hopes of that helping me in some way to find her.
‘They’re closed for the holidays. So how will that help? I’m worried that we might mess this job up for her. I don’t want to jump the gun.’
The woman is trying my patience. ‘Tell me the name of the company!’
‘Hawthorne Publications.’
As my eyes focus on the name of the company, my heart pounds like a sledgehammer in my chest. Tossing the blankets off me, I haul ass to the bathroom to get ready.
Before I dress, I tap out a text to James Hawthorne to throw his ass off. ‘I’m not coming. Thanks for the invitation, though.’
Then I send one to Natasha’s mother. ‘Go to the Central Park Zoo. Wear masquerade masks and speak to no one. Make sure your husband has his gun with him. And be prepared to see things you’ve never seen before. I will be there in a black tux with a Phantom of the Opera mask on.’
Praying I am way off, I hurry to get ready and head down to take off for the zoo. It’s beyond my imagination that Natasha would purposely make a bond with that man to be his slave. Not that woman!
But he may be holding something over her head. Maybe telling her father about her involvement with the club. Or maybe something even worse. The fact the doorman of the apartment building said he didn’t recognize her is giving me an eerie feeling.
The woman I saved from him said James would leave her alone in the apartment he set her up in and made her wear an ankle bracelet that would go off if she left it. He has the means and the ingenuity to take Natasha somewhere and stash her until he is ready for her.
If that man thinks he can take that woman, he is sadly mistaken!
NATASHA
With the mask and cloak on, James whisks me out of the apartment building after sending the doorman on an errand for him. He’s been extremely careful about not having me seen at all.
His driver opens the door of the town car and I slip into the back, then James comes in after me. “On the floor, Slave.”
I quickly comply, trying to reserve my energy for a fight later, when I’ll need every ounce of energy I can muster. “Yes, Master.” I move to the floor and take a position of submission.
Although my body has been ravaged by the drugs my father had me on for over a year and then the fasting James has made me do, my mind is sharper than ever. There has to be at least one man in the audience tonight who will listen to me when I shout to call Nic.
I’m prepared to take all I can before the actual branding occurs. I will fight to my death to stop that from happening. James Hawthorne is in for a rude awakening. I did warn him about myself.
After I fell apart and cried for over an hour, I found a reserve of strength and faith hidden deep inside of myself. I also recalled some things about the people I’ve met at the club. Though not many, I did manage to meet a few and I have faith those people will step up and help me when I ask for it.
With James’ confession of having quite a few irons in the fire, ready to be aimed at Nic, I have all I need to have the man arrested for blackmail. When you add in the fact he has to have the bonds he has with his other slaves on file with the BBC, that should be all anyone needs to put the man away for a very long time.
There’s no way more than a few of his other slaves hasn't found the way they’re being treated unfair and inhumane. Perhaps my fate was to walk into the club that night for the other women and future women James Hawthorn would torture and terrorize.
I’d like to think it was merely to meet Nic, the man I love, even though I never saw that coming. It seems my reason may have been two-fold for following Dani’s advice and joining her that night. The night that changed my life.
The car stops and James pulls my leash that’s attached to the collar he has tightly wrapped around my neck. He’s never gentle about anything he does. When he gets out of the car, he jerks the leash, making me run forward and nearly fall.
My bare feet are what helps me not to get tripped up and I walk quickly behind him with my head down. The smells of hay, animal shit, and cotton candy hit my nose as he hurries along with me into a large wooden gate.
As we walk inside, I can tell we’re at a zoo. It’s dark but the half-moon’s light glows off the white snow-covered walkway. My feet are freezing but that’s okay. It’s making my mind sharp as the snow bites at the soles of my feet.
We meet a man who unlocks a cage and I am placed inside of it. “You will wait here until the show begins,” James tells me as he takes my cuffed hands and pulls them up, looping them over a screw that’s jutting out of the enclosure.
My toes barely touch the snow-covered ground as my body is stretched to its limits. Then he does something I did not see coming. My mask is pulled off and he puts a gag-ball in my mouth and ties the straps so tightly, I can’t make more than a slight sound. My mask is put back on with no one the wiser that I am unable to scream or make loud noises.
I had relied on his desire to hear my screams and cries so I could shout for someone to get Nic. Now that’s gone. He must’ve thought about it and decided it was too risky to expect me to comply with the bond.
Growls fill the air behind me. Large cats, lions perhaps. Bears, for certain. And wolves howl in the darkness behind me. My body heats with the terror I’m feeling. I am at the mercy of the animals in the position I’m in.
Would he really allow the animals to rip me apart? Would any of the members who will soon be here allow that kind of show to be put on?
I have no idea to what extremes any of the people, who make the BBC their hobby, will go to in order to push the envelope. James seems to want to scare the shit out of them all. Especially me.
I watch as other women are brought into the cage. They all give me sorrowful gazes as they enter the cage, all wearing the same thing I am. Some of their red cloaks blow apart as they walk in, showing me the same little leather straps I have on, that merely accent their private areas, covering none.
All the other women, who are around my size, have their hair pulled back into a high ponytail and we all wear the same full facial mask to hide our identity to the maximum effect.
I, alone, am cuffed and hanging up. Dropping my head lower, I can see out of the corners of my eyes they are being placed on either side of me. Six on one side and six on the other.
The animals who I hear have to be in other cages behind this one or we’d have been attacked by now. Two gurneys are brought in and I have to wonder why that is. Does he plan to kill a couple of the women tonight?
The gurneys are put at the end of each line of the other slaves and then two chairs are brought in and placed at the front of each line. My heart starts to beat harder as music begins to well up and I hear claps and cheers.
Looking up for a moment, I realize a heavy black curtain is shielding us from the audience’s view. The members of the BBC and their slaves are waiting on the other side of the curtain for the show to begin.
A man, wearing tight spandex pants that reveal a huge bulge between his muscular legs, walks up next to me. He has on a black mask and horns protrude through the top, making him appear demon-like. His mask is slit at the mouth and he leans up, licking the length of my neck. “Prepare to find out what hell is really like, Slave.”
I had an idea it was James and nod as I can’t speak at all with the thing in my mouth. My body already hurts and the real torture hasn’t even begun.
The music comes to a crescendo then falls to complete silence. And I am doomed!
NICHOLAI
Taking a place at the front of the seating that’s been set up for the show, I don’t see Natasha’s parents anywhere. Her mother may not have been able to get her father to come to this place.
If I am right about who Hawthorne is trying to make his newest slave, then her father needs to be here. I may need his help as I have no idea who will help me to save her and who will help Hawthorne to keep her.
I called my father and he’s supposed to be here too. But I don't see him either. It’s extremely hard to tell who is who in the dim lighting and with all the black tuxedos and masks all the men are wearing.
They will be here if needed, I hope.
The music swells and then stops and I find myself sitting on the edge of my seat. Slowly, the black curtain rises and everything behind it is pitch black.
A sudden burst of sound and light open a spotlight on a young woman who is handcuffed and strung up at the front middle of a large cage. An animal enclosure. A man, James Hawthorne, most certainly, is standing next to her. His hand is on her long ponytail.
She is wearing a mask that hides her entire face and a red cloak is covering her body, though I can see small glimpses of naked flesh underneath it. It’s freezing out here and she has on no shoes which pisses me off no matter who that is.
The light spreads out, showing two lines of six women each on either side of the one James is next to. They all are dressed exactly alike. It’s impossible to tell one from the other.
The music goes into jungle-like sounds and more lights fill the cages behind the enclosure. The animals in the other cages roar, growl, and howl. It’s nearly deafening all the noise they make as they all seem highly agitated.
I look the animals over and find one cage houses two male lions, A huge bear is in another, and three wolves are in the last cage. All seem to be males and that has me worried about what he’s going to have the women do.
James is wearing some type of demon mask and looks every bit the part. He turns the woman who is strung up, the one I assume is to be his new slave, to one side. Taking her head, he lifts it up and makes her look to the left. “You will watch as I please your sister slaves.”
I see the woman nod then James walks away, going to the last woman in the line and picking her up, placing her on a gurney, he pushes her to lie back on it and tosses her red cape back to reveal her body, naked except for some leather straps that cover nothing.
Lifting her knees up as he spreads her legs open, he wheels the gurney to the side so the audience can see what he’s about to do better. His tongue flicks out of the slit in his full facial mask and the women in the audience moan and pant.
Forcing the women’s legs as far apart as they will possibly go, he leans over and licks her with one long slow lick. I shudder as the women in the audience shriek and shout out their praises to him.
The animals stop what they were doing and watch James as he performs cunnilingus on his slave and she moans and writhes as he does. Her hands grip the sides of the gurney but she never arches up to him while he administers to her. Only the top part of her body is moving.
I look back at the new slave and see her head is lowered. She is not looking as James instructed her to and that has me thinking my hunch is absolutely correct.
Turning back, I scan the audience and still cannot find her parents or my father. I look back as the woman screams in ecstasy. When James pulls his face away from her, his mask is shiny with her juices around the slit where his mouth is.
Quickly I look and find the new slave’s head is still looking down and I look back and see James has seen that too. He makes quick, long strides to her and takes a whip from behind a chair that is near her. “Open your eyes, Slave!”
Her head snaps up and she looks at him. His whip flies through the air, catching her on her back and making her body arch to get away from the strike. “Watch me as I pleasure your sister slaves. Your turn is coming.”
She nods and looks at him as he goes to the next woman. He merely points to the ground as he approaches the next to the last woman and she falls quickly to her hands and knees. He twirls his finger and she moves so we see her from the side.
He pulls his swollen cock out and she takes it into her mouth. My eyes leave them as one of the lion’s roars, taking my attention momentarily then they dart back to James. The way he’s facing toward the new slave and the other four women who are standing in line, looking down, has him whistling to make them look at them.
All four heads turn in unison as he says, “Give me something to look at, Slaves.”
The women know what he wants without being told and two of them automatically take positions, lying on the ground while the other two take positions at their centers and start kissing their sister slaves in their intimate areas. All of them make tons of sounds as he seems to like all that noise.
When I hear a gag coming from just behind me, I look over my shoulder and spot what has to be Natasha’s parents as the woman’s face is buried in the man’s chest and he too cannot watch what’s happening.
I look back at the stage to find James beginning to quiver as his juices shoot down the woman’s throat and he moans loudly. The sound of all the people moaning has the animals going completely insane. Growling and pawing at the cages to get free. I would guess the smell of sex is abundant in their sensitive nostrils and making them crazy horny.
The two women who were performing on their sister slaves are drawn up by him and he kisses them back and forth, sampling all the tastes. He then gestures for them to go to the slave who just sucked him off and they all three trade kisses then and the first slave he pleased joins them. Then he pulls the other slaves who are still lying on the ground up and ushers them to trade kisses with the others.
He leaves them all kissing and fondling one another as he makes his way to the hanging slave. Walking straight up to her, he takes her by the waist and holds her tightly. “You, I will make mine. My cock is only for you on this night.” He gestures to the women, who have yet to do a thing, the other six slaves who stand with their heads down. “Your sister slaves will prepare you for me. I prefer your flesh be tender before I devour it.”
Lifting her up, he takes her cuffed hands off a hook and places her feet on the ground. With a few steps back, he looks at the other women and claps his hands twice.
They fall into action, making their way to the new slave. She is standing and waiting for them. Two take her arms and lead her to a chair that is near her and place her cuffed hands on the back of it.
The other four women are placing the fourth slave’s hands on the back of the opposite chair, just like the new slave’s are. Two of the women get whips that are behind the chairs.
James watches as he rubs his cock which has been placed back inside his tight black spandex pants. The older slave is struck first and she screams a blood curdling scream.
It makes my insides shake. I’ve never had this reaction to that before. Their cloaks are still on so the whip did not hit the flesh but that woman sounded as if it hurt like hell.
When the other woman hits the new slave, not a sound is made and James claps his hands. “She may seem tough but she is hiding something.”
The audience says, “Oh!” all at once.
I watch closely to see any sign the new slave is Natasha. My eyes scan everything as James and all of his slaves are in the enclosure. There is a large padlock that is holding the one large gate closed.
I have to look very hard into the darkness at the outside far end of the cage and there I see a person completely clad in black and I bet anything he has the key to that gate.
The fact James has him and his women locked in that cage together and away from all of us is a red flag to me. I look back and see the man who has the woman’s face hidden in his chest and lift my mask up enough to reveal my eyes to him. When he nods at me and winks, I know it’s Natasha’s father.
I point to the man in black who I think might have the key and he looks that way then nods at me. I feel a bit of relief as he then points at a man standing to the far left then one to the far right and he winks again. I take that to mean he’s brought back-up and that is a gift in itself.
Though I am still not sure that’s Natasha as I think she’d have screamed her ass off by now. I wait and watch the show to see if something will be revealed to me.
But I pray it’s not her up there!
NATASHA
All the sounds are working against me, drawing my mind into the sex. The animals are even excited. And that has me very worried about what else James has in store for us, his slaves.
I’ve tried my best to scan the audience but when I do get a chance to look out, I can’t see a thing as the damn spotlights hit my eyes and blind me. It almost seems as if we’re alone here in this cage. Only the sounds of people shouting and clapping let me know people must be out there, watching us all.
The whip, falling across my cloak-covered back didn’t really hurt. I suppose the other woman knows what James wants to hear and gives it to him. All of the other women are loud, a thing Nic didn’t like at all. Their sounds are fake, I can tell.
They all sound like the few pornos I did catch bits and pieces of in the boys’ dorms in my early years of college. Nic hates that fake shit and so do I. But I know all too soon the pain will be real and if that man actually sticks his fucking cock in me, I will cry like a baby. I know I will.
No one may hear me as he’s stuck this damn ball in my mouth, but tears will flow and my heart will break into millions of tiny shards. My only love is Nicholai Grimm and my heart will always beat only for him. No matter what!
I look to the right and find the other woman, who is being punished like I am, is being stripped of her cloak. The next lash will strike her pearly white skin and I flinch as my cloak is untied and taken off too.
I am bent over, holding the back of the chair. It’s shielding me from anyone seeing anything much as far as boobs or the other essential areas are concerned. But I can feel the cold on my body and my nipples are as erect as they can get.
When the whip comes down on the other slave’s back, she grips the chair so tight, her knuckles are white and she screams like crazy. I watch a trail of blood rise to the surface of her back and begin to drip off her side.
I brace myself for some excruciating pain and when the whip hits me, it burns like fire. I scream but the gag holds it in. I find two of the other slaves holding me still as another strike is made on my sister slave and then I get another.
I see my blood drip off both sides of my back. My stomach hurts as the pain is bad enough to make me nauseous. Before I can even get a hold of myself, James takes me by the throat and his fat cock presses against my ass as he pulls me up in front of him.
The places on my back, where my skin has been split, burn as he holds me so tight, my back touches his chest. He moves behind me, his torso rubbing my pulsing back, making it hurt worse.
Stepping to one side, the chair is no longer hiding anything. My body is bare to the audience. He steps beside me and I see my blood all over his chest. My body is shaking with the pain and embarrassment.
He steps behind me again, towering over me. His hands run down my arms and he lifts my arms up over my head. Elongating my body and further exposing me to the people who are watching this act of cruelty.
They may think it’s just an act. A dramatic, erotic act. But it’s real and the man who is holding me up as his prize is a real demon, not a fake one.
If I could talk, if I didn’t have this thing in my mouth, now would be the time I’d scream for help. But I am utterly helpless and James Hawthorne is acutely aware of that fact.
Suddenly the sound of someone hitting the cage has me looking up and I see a man in a tuxedo and a Phantom of the Opera mask, standing just outside the cage. His fingers are curled around the fencing as he leans on it and looks at me. “Natasha?”
It’s Nic and I nod, only to find James pulling my ponytail to stop me from nodding anymore. I’m tossed quickly back to my sister slaves who form a circle around me, hiding me from Nic.
My hands are cuffed and the women who are in the same boat as me are holding me back from getting to the man who can help me. I look at each of them with begging eyes. It’s to no avail I see as they all look away.
One of them whispers, “It’s no use, sister. Accept your fate as we all have.”
I shake my head and look at them frantically as I hear Nic shouting, “Pete has my slave in his quarters. I have the bond here to prove that!”
“You have no bond with any of my slaves, Bill. Take a seat and enjoy the show,” I hear James say.
The animals go crazy as a commotion at the far end of the enclosure is loud and shouts are heard. Then I hear my father’s voice shout, “You are under arrest, James Hawthorne!”
The pack of women who have surrounded me, break open on one side as James comes into the circle. They close the circle around us as he tosses me to the ground and yanks my ass back up. I feel his erection on the naked flesh of my ass but the spandex is still covering him. He’s trying to take me before Nic can get through the locked gate. I start to kick and move to evade him. “Hold her,” he tells the other women through clenched teeth.
He pulls me back and I feel something hot on the back of my neck and scream but no one hears a thing as the gag keeps me quiet. I struggle to get away from him as I feel the smooth skin at the tip of his dick touch my ass cheek and I buck like I’ve never bucked in my life.
“Move!” I hear Nic’s deep voice command as the women who were surrounding me are sent out of his way. I am sprawled out on the hard, cold ground, my ass pulled into the air. As I feel the weight of James lifted off me, I roll out of the way.
Instantly, the other women have me and pull me with them to one side of the enclosure. The animals are so loud I can barely hear a thing. Boos and hisses echo in the background as the audience make their sentiments known.
A red cloak is thrown into the ball of women who hold tightly to me. “You bitches better let my baby go!”
It’s my mother and she sounds like a she-wolf!
Then I begin to hear whispers from the women who are holding me, “Help us too, please. We want out. Help us.”
They move away from me like petals on a blooming flower and I hear my mother say, “You ladies stay with me. All who want out will get out.”
I’ve never seen my mother be so protective in my life. I’m wrapped in the cloak by her and she pulls my mask off. When she sees the gag in my mouth, tears well up in her light blue eyes. One of the other girls unties it, giving me some much-needed relief. I open and close my mouth a few times then smile. “Mom!”
I hug her for all I’m worth then I hear a gunshot and we all stop and turn to look as my father, Nic, and James lay still on the ground in a pile. Just inside the enclosure.
An odd sound comes from behind us and the sound of steel squeaking has us all looking that way. The door to the lions’ cage slowly opens. The bullet must’ve hit the lock and the lions are free!
My father’s head pops up on the pile of men he is on top of. “Everyone out of the enclosure, now!” he shouts.
No one needs to tell us we need to get the hell out of here. We run in a panicked herd to the rather small opening. I barely see my father grab up Nic and Nic has James in a choke-hold, so he comes with him and they go to the gate too.
Somehow we manage to all get out and Dad shuts the gate. Everyone is panting as we stop on the safe side of the cage to find the lions have not even left their cage. They seem as surprised by the open door as we are.
One of the zoo workers zips past us and runs into the cage, throwing his hands around and yelling at the lions who move to the back of their enclosure. He closes the gate and slaps a new lock on it as the audience cheers like crazy.
I suppose they think it’s all part of the show, the fools!
NICHOLAI
When I strip the mask off Hawthorne’s head, the audience begins to murmur. I assume they’re finally seeing this is not part of the act. My father makes his way through the crowd to us, pulling his mask away too.
The FBI agents pull their masks off as well and come to take Hawthorne from me as Natasha’s father finishes reading him his rights. He then turns to the women and says, “I’ll need you all to come with us to our headquarters. We’re going to need full statements and we’ll help you all get back to your families.”
Natasha’s mother has her wrapped tightly in her arms. With James in the hands of the authorities, I make my way to her and find tears falling down her cheeks. Her mother lets her go and she comes to me with haste.
“Nic!” Her arms go around my neck as I lift her up in my arms.
She pushes my mask up and we look at each other for a long time. It’s as if we’re silently getting reacquainted after such a long time apart. “Hey,” I whisper as a lump has risen in my throat.
“Hey,” she says then her hand cups the back of my head and she pulls me to kiss her.
The sounds I hear seem far away as people clap and cheer. But all I can think about is how good this woman feels in my arms and I want nothing more than to take her home.
The sound of a man clearing his throat has me ending our sweet kiss. We turn our heads to see her father standing there, looking at us. “Can you bring her to the FBI headquarters? We need her statement too.”
“I’m taking her home to shower and change first,” I tell him.
He nods and moves on to get the other women rounded up to take them to give their statements. Natasha leans her head on my chest as I carry her away. “My God, I’ve never been so glad to see a person in my entire life, Nic.”
“Me neither,” I say as I carry her out the back way to avoid the other people.
“How did you know it was me?” she asks as she looks at me with confusion.
“The scar under your left breast. Now, aren’t you glad I took the time to get to know your body?” I ask her as I recall her trying to stop me from looking at that scar.
“Nicholai!” I hear my father call out.
I stop and wait as he approaches us. “Yes, Father?”
“I want to know if Natasha is okay. Should she be taken to the hospital?” he asks as he gets to us.
She shakes her head. “No, sir. Thank you for asking. I think some ointment on the lashes will suffice. And all I really need is Nic and I have him now. I’ll be okay.”
He gives her a nod then looks at me. “Make sure she gets a check-up, Nicholai. Take good care of her.”
“I will, Father,” I tell him then start heading to my car again.
She looks up at me with furrowed brows. “When did he start liking me?”
“Recently,” I tell her then kiss her forehead. “Things are changing, my princess.”
“I can see that.” She leans her head against my chest again. “I am so tired. You have no idea. I’m probably going to sleep for a week.”
Her voice is hoarse and weak and her body feels twenty pounds lighter than it did before she was taken from me. I could hate her father and hold a grudge for what he did to her, forever. But I won’t be doing that. I will forgive the man.
When I have a daughter, I might do insane things to try to protect her myself. All that really matters is I have the woman I love back in my arms and I will hold tight to her forever. I stop as I see a star falling from the sky and watch it as the light trails behind it. “Make a wish, Natasha.”
She looks at the star too and closes her eyes, making a silent wish. When she opens them, she smiles. “It came true,” she says.
“And how do you know that?” I ask as I continue to the car.
“I wished for this not to be a dream. I’ve had so many dreams of you rescuing me. In my dreams, when I opened my eyes, you’d be gone and I’d be alone in one of my prisons. This time, you’re really here. I’m really in your arms and you are really taking me to your home, right?”
“Our home,” I say as I get to the car and open the door, sliding her into the front seat. “I am taking you to our home, my princess.”
“That sounds fantastic to me, my prince. Our home. Our life. Our love. Take me home, Nic. It’s been too long.” She runs her hand over the back of her neck. “Nic, did he brand me here?”
I look at the back of her neck to find a bite mark but no brand. “No, he bit you pretty good but I’ll put ointment on it so often it won’t leave a scar.”
Her sigh of relief tells me she was worried about him leaving a permanent mark on her. It wouldn’t matter to me if he did. I’d still love her just the same.
Closing her door, I feel my heart beating differently. It’s hard to believe this is finally over. We’ve waited for over a year and been through hell but it’s finally over and we can start our lives together.
Slipping behind the steering wheel, I look at her to find her resting her head on the leather headrest. “You look beautiful.”
She reaches out to touch my cheek. “You do too.”
I smile and pull her hand to kiss her palm. “Let’s get you home.”
As I pull out of the parking lot, amidst a sea of other people leaving the zoo, all I can think about is how blessed I feel at this moment. When I feel her hand taking mine off the steering wheel to hold it, I sigh with how natural it feels to hold her hand on top of the middle console that separates us.
“You’re the best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten,” she says as she gazes at me.
I look at her, returning her smile. “I think that about you too. You can bet I will lavish you with gifts once the sun comes up.”
“I only want one thing from you, Nic.” She moves her hand up my arm with a gentle stroke.
“And what is that?” I ask her as my skin heats from her soft touch.
“I want you to stay in bed with me all day and night and make sweet love to me as many times as possible.” She bites her lower lip and makes a tiny moan.
“Now, that does sound like a nice way to spend our first Christmas together, doesn’t it? I think I can manage that for you.”
“Merry Christmas, my prince.”
I take her hand and press my lips to it. “Merry Christmas, my princess.”
This may be the best Christmas of our lives!
NATASHA
The snow is still falling as we go to the FBI building so I can tell them everything James Hawthorne has done to me and Nic. A hot shower and some food have me feeling a lot better.
I wish I didn’t have to leave the house to do this but it needs to be done and the sooner I can see that man behind bars the better I’ll feel. The driver drops us off in front of the large building and Nic takes my hand, leading me inside.
Two women with high ponytails and trench coats walk out the door just before we walk in. “Hello,” I say as I recognize them as a couple of James’ former slaves.
“Thank you,” one of them says. “We’ve needed someone like you to come into our lives and help us for some time now.”
Nic looks ashamed as he says, “I feel partially responsible for how you all have been treated. The rules our club has did not protect you at all. I will stay on at the club, merely to rectify the rules to protect women from now on.”
The women look at each other, then at us. One of them says, “That will be nice of you. Neither of us will ever be returning to that club or any like it, ever again. I’m heading back to Minnesota to live with my grandparents until I feel stronger, mentally and physically.”
“I’m going back to Nebraska to live with my parents while I get the help I need to get over this,” the other one tells us.
“I’m glad you two have found ways to help you overcome this tragedy. I was a shell of a person when he first took me to the apartment. I cried and nearly gave up. But then I felt as if I’d been sent to help you women. And any women in the future he’d bring into his torture chambers. May God bless and keep you two,” The hug we three share has me finding tears stinging the back of my eyes as I try desperately to hold them back.
I’m a bit surprised as Nic joins our hug, enveloping us all in his strong arms. “I’m so sorry this happened to you all. I will do all I can to make sure this never happens again. I will personally, take care of finding a lawyer to make sure you ladies are handsomely compensated for your mental and physical anguish. I want none of you to ever have any financial problems for the rest of your lives.”
“Thank you,” one of them says as we all pull away from one another, ending the hug and wiping our eyes.
With a wave, we watch them go down the sidewalk to hail a cab. Nic calls out, “Go to that black car parked over there. My driver will take you wherever it is you need to go.”
They nod and walk towards the car. He pulls his phone out and gives the driver his directions to aid the women in whatever they need. As we walk inside the building that’s sparsely populated with it being Christmas Day, I say, “That was sweet of you, Nic. Such a sweetness has taken you over, it’s amazing.”
“I know what hell feels like now. I want no part of the ugly darkness I used to crave. You are a ray of light in the world I thought of as dark and sinister. The fact is, life is what you make it. You want it dark, it will be dark. You want it light, it will be light. I want you and I want to live life in the light.”
I hold his hand and lean into his side as we go to the elevator. “I want to live life with you in the light too.”
His lips press against the top of my head as the elevator doors open and my father steps out of it. “Well, there you are. We have all the other women’s statements. Yours is all we need to wrap this up. With Hawthorne in federal custody, no judge can set him free. All of you are safe from the man.”
“Good to hear,” Nic says. “Who do we need to talk to?”
“Granger is going to get your statement. And you won’t believe how many calls we’ve had pointing fingers at you Nic. Various crimes have been reported.”
My body tenses. “Dad! You can’t…”
He stops me as he holds up his hand. “We know Hawthorne is behind all of that. He has been for some time it seems. Hence, why we were always investigating your company. That’s all over now. You can stop looking over your shoulder for us, Nic. But you still need to keep a tight leash on that company of yours. You got me?”
Nic nods. “I got you. Thank you, sir. I’d like to speak with you in private when you have the time. I’d like to do it today, if possible, sir.”
Nic is talking with such reverence to my father. I have to say, I thought he’d be mad at him for causing us both so much pain. He’s surprising me in every way.
“Sure, Nic. I’m grabbing a coffee then I’ll be back. Tasha’s going to have to give her statement alone anyway. We need the women to feel one hundred percent safe telling us everything so they’re interviewed alone. You understand, right?” Dad asks.
“I do. I’ll talk to you when you get back then,” Nic says, then we get in the elevator.
Once the doors close, I find curiosity taking me over. “What do you want to talk to my dad about?”
Turning toward me, he pulls me into his arms and rubs his nose to mine. “Don’t you worry about that, my princess. You just worry about making sure you give every last bit of evidence you have against Hawthorne to the feds so we can be rid of him.”
I know he’s got something up his sleeve but for some reason doesn’t want me to know about it. “I hate secrets.”
“I like them,” he says and chuckles as the elevator doors open and he lets me out of his hold and takes my hand, leading me out.
“Natasha Greenwell, I’m agent Granger,” a man in a black suit and tie greets me. I shake his extended hand then he turns to Nic and shakes his. “Mr. Grimm, nice to see you again, under better circumstances.”
“Nice to see you too. It’s nice to be on the other side of the FBI for a change,” Nic says then runs his arm around me and kisses the side of my head. “I guess I’ll leave her in your hands, Agent Granger. I’ll be here in the waiting area.”
“I’ll need to talk to you next, Grimm,” the agent says as he ushers me into his small office.
Nic gives him a nod and me a small wave. “Tell the man every detail, leave nothing out, princess.”
I nod and the agent closes the door, leaving me alone with him. When his hand touches the small of my back in a gesture to be seated, it sends waves of unease through me. I can see I’m going to have some residual effects from my ordeal. It has me thinking everything won’t be all rainbows and butterflies for me the way I hoped it would be.
Can everything ever be normal for me again?
NICHOLAI
A calm washes over me as Natasha’s father steps out of the elevator and smiles when he sees me sitting in the waiting room outside of Granger’s office. “Good, she’s giving him her statement. Her words will cement the case against him. And I had something to ask you, Grimm. It’s about that paper you were holding that you said was a bond between you and my daughter. You’d told me there was no such thing between you two.”
I feel a bit awkward talking about this but I forge ahead anyway. “That was a document I had drawn up but we never signed. I signed her name to the last page and brought it with me to the ceremony just in case I ran into any trouble saying she wasn’t a free woman. You’d have to understand that culture, sir. It’s not the mainstream. In that lifestyle, some women belong to men. But Natasha was a free woman, she always was and always will be.”
He nods and sips his coffee. “I get it. I’m not cool with the initial document being brought up in the first place, though.”
“That’s far behind me. I swear that to you. I did go to the club to play poker and decompress one night in the last year. The scene left me flat and I don’t plan on going back to it as any form of entertainment. I am going to continue my membership, though.”
“Why in the hell would you do that?” he asks as he frowns at me.
“Only to make sure the rules are changed and adhered to. That’s the only reason. I want to help protect the people who enjoy that lifestyle. I know you don’t get it but some people like it. It won’t stop the club just because I quit it. I need to oversee things there. Now that I know a thing like what Hawthorne pulled can happen.”
“When you explain it like that, I understand you much better,” he says and takes a seat a few chairs down from me. “Is Natasha okay? I mean the places on her back looked bad.”
“I put some ointment on them. They’re superficial. They’ll heal in about a week. I’m taking her to have a thorough check-up as soon as possible. I want her healthy.”
“Me too. I have felt extremely guilty about not paying attention to the fact her body became dependent on the drugs I told them to use daily to keep her calm while I had her held at the castle,” he tells me.
“I had no idea that had happened. That’s not good at all. I’ll call my personal physician to come this evening to see to her,” I say as I push down the anger I’m feeling at him for having done such a thing.
“That would be great. Can I trust you, Grimm, to take good care of my daughter?”
I want to tell him I am more trustworthy than he’s ever been but that would be negative and I want only positives in this conversation. “Yes, you can trust me. As a matter of fact, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” I pull the engagement ring out of my pocket. I bought it for Natasha a year ago and show it to him. “With your blessing, I’d like to ask your daughter to become my wife. I’d like to marry her sooner rather than later if you can agree to that, sir.”
He looks at the ring for a while. “That thing probably cost more than my house and two cars, doesn’t it?”
“It is a valuable piece of jewelry, sir.”
He looks at me for a minute then he looks away and takes a sip of his coffee. I don’t like how long he’s taking to answer me. My nerves are getting twitchy and my palms are beginning to sweat.
“She isn’t the sweet girl you think she is, Nicholai. I thought she was once myself, but she isn’t. I think you’re in love with the fact she seems sweet and innocent but she’s not that. When you see her with all her flaws, you may not want her and that’s what I’m afraid of. I know men like you. You put women on a pedestal. Tasha is flawed. I’m just afraid she’ll disappoint you and you two will end up in a loveless marriage.”
And just what the hell does that mean?
The Beginning: Part Eight
NATASHA
The cab ride back to Nic’s home was made in silence. As we step off the elevator to go into his apartment, I feel a chill in the air. “It’s pretty cold up here,” I say as Nic leads me by the hand to the door.
“The heating may have broken up here. Hopefully, someone in my staff reported the problem,” he says as he unlocks and opens the door.
It’s so cold in the room, we can see our breath. “No one’s here,” I say as it’s obvious.
“It’s Christmas! I forgot that I let them all off. Damn, it’s cold in here,” he says as he pulls me along with him to check the thermostat. “It’s off. Who the hell would turn it all the way off?”
“I don’t know but hurry and turn it back on,” I say with chattering teeth. “It’s freezing in here.”
He seems flustered and aggravated by the mishap. “This is really lax of my staff. I will see that whoever did this will be reprimanded. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried and I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. It’ll be warm in here soon and we won’t even think about it. Come on, we can get naked and get under the blanket in your bed,” I say to take his mind off the cold air in the room.
“I have my personal physician coming to see to you, Natasha. There will be no sex until she makes sure you’re healthy enough for that. Your father told me about you having withdrawals from a drug he had you on, a sedative. Why did you keep that from me?” he asks with a frown on his handsome face.
“I didn’t keep it from you. It’s been mere hours since we’ve seen one another. There hasn’t been time to give you every last detail of the last year.” I let his hand go and go to the bar to find something to warm me up.
His hand on my shoulder stops me. “And what are you doing?”
“Getting myself a drink. You want one?” I ask him as he looks oddly at me.
“It’s nine in the morning, Natasha.”
Shaking my head, I say, “I had no idea what time it was. That is much too early to have a drink. You’re right. I just thought it would help to ease the chill in my body. That’s all. I wasn’t looking to get snookered.”
His eyes narrow as he looks at me. Then he takes my hand and pulls me to the kitchen. “I’ll make us some hot chocolate. That too can get the chill out of your body. And while I make it, you can tell me everything. I want to hear it all.”
“I am so tired, Nic. When’s this doctor coming?” I ask as he pulls a chair out at the small table in the kitchen and I sit down. “I’ve been up forever. I’m exhausted.”
“She’ll be here shortly. I don't suppose it will take long.. Then we can sleep.” He pulls out the milk and a small saucepan to heat it in. “Did Hawthorne give you any drugs while he had you?”
“No,” I tell him as I pull my gloves off and rub my hands together. “He sent a woman to give me a birth control shot but she didn’t do it. She said she had to take my blood and test it first. She took a vial of it and I didn’t see her again.”
“Put those gloves back on, Natasha,” he tells me as he glances at me and sees me rubbing my hands together.
“This is working much better,” I say and see him give me that look I forgot he has. The one that silently tells me not to question him or talk back and just do as he says.
I pull the gloves back on though. I haven’t the strength to argue with him at this point. I need rest and I need it now!
“Good girl,” he says then opens a drawer, retrieving a metal whisk to stir the milk.
I don’t say anything as that pretty much pisses me off. I watch him in silence as he prepares the drinks. He gives me quick glances now and again and it has me thinking he’s got something he’d like to say or ask but is having a hard time bringing himself to do it.
“You’re acting strange,” I finally say when he brings the cups of hot chocolate to the table and sits across from me.
“Am I?” he asks as he blows over the surface of one of the cups then places it in front of me. “Don’t drink it yet, it’s very hot. You can use the warm cup to help warm your hands up.” He places my gloved hands around the cup and smiles at me. “See.”
“Yes, I’m not a moron!” I snap at him. “You’re treating me like a child, Nic. Stop it!”
His eyes go wide with my outburst then he looks down. “Tell me about your past, Natasha. Tell me why you had no boyfriend when we met. What had you all alone?”
“I was way too busy with my school work is what had me all alone.” I venture to take a sip of the creamy looking drink.
“Not yet,” he says as he looks over his cup at me. “Before college, did you have a boyfriend?”
Shaking my head, I answer him, “No. I wasn’t into boys my age. I liked older men. Being that I was underage had my hands tied. So, I ended up not dating anyone. When I was twenty, I dated one of my professors. He was ten years older than I was.”
“What ended that?” he asks me.
“His wife,” I say and laugh a little. “I had no idea he was married.”
“Is that a thing that’s a definite no-no with you?” he asks and watches my reaction a bit too intensely.
“What, the man I’m dating being married?”
He nods. “Yes.”
“Of course,” I say and sip the drink that’s cooled enough. “Why do you ask that?”
“I’ll be honest with you as I do hate games and I feel like I’m playing with you instead of being straightforward. Your father told me how you broke up a man’s marriage when you were sixteen. He told me how he thought the man had come on to you and he nearly killed him. He told me he caught you giving the man a blowjob and you remained silent all these years. But recently, you told him it was you who initiated the act.” He stops talking and just looks at me.
I am stunned my father told him all of that. “My God! I can’t believe he told you that!”
“He had his reasons. And now I want to know something. Is this your true character? Are you a woman who cares not if she wrecks a home? Or are you the woman I came to know, respect, and love?”
Shuddering as I feel him judging me, I wrap my arms around myself. “I don’t know what the hell to say to that, Nic. You, yourself, told me I had a darkness inside of me. It was you who said that to me. It was you who tried to bring that out in me and now you sit here and look at me as a judge and jury. Well, I don’t like it one bit. And to be judged by you is preposterous!”
“At least I am upfront and honest about my past. You seem to want to keep yours hidden. Is that the kind of person you are? One who dabbles in the dark and wants to keep it hidden as you walk around with your head held high, though you don’t deserve to?”
Getting up, quickly, I find the chair falling to the floor as I make my exit out of the kitchen. “I’m not doing this right now. I don’t have the fucking strength to do this with you.”
He’s right behind me, his hand touches my shoulder. “Where are you going?”
“To bed. In the guest room. The one that was to be mine if I signed your bond. I want to be alone,” I tell him as I keep moving. “You can send the doctor in when she gets here. Just leave me alone.”
“You’ve been alone far too much this last year. Get into our bed.” He steers me to his bedroom and I find myself fuming mad at him.
As we get to the door, I turn around and glare at him. “I won’t be coming back to a relationship where you dominate me. I’ve been lorded over for far too long. I am weak right now. I will get stronger, though. And I will never be dominated again. Do you understand me? I may not be the woman for you any longer. I am not the same person.”
His eyes go soft. The hardness that had reigned over his expression has all but disappeared. His lips fall softly on my forehead. “I am sorry. You go into the bedroom and rest. Get undressed. I’ll send the doctor in when she gets here. I am sorry, Natasha. Things are so unsettled. I yearn for them to be settled and our lives going forward.”
With a nod, I place my hands on his chest. “I am not in a state to make promises I can’t keep. I have a road ahead of me. One where I need emotional help as well as physical. I want you to know, I understand if I am too much for you to handle right now. I can go live with my parents.”
“We’ll see,” he says then opens the door and ushers me into the room. “For now, you undress and climb into bed and soon the doctor will be here to start helping you get better.”
I walk into the room, alone, as he closes the door and leaves me. I have to wonder if the doctor can help me at all as I feel lost and very helpless. I hope I don’t push Nic away just to protect myself from any more pain. That’s the last thing I want to do but I feel it welling up inside of me. Self-preservation.
NICHOLAI
As I close the door to the bedroom, leaving Natasha alone as she requested, I get the distinct impression she has many things haunting her right now. I don’t like it and I don’t like how I am handling any of this.
When her father told me about her past, I was shocked. I know I shouldn’t have been. It was me who knew she had something hidden inside of her after all. But hearing it out loud that she purposely seduced a married man, ending his marriage and family as well as getting his ass royally kicked by her father, well that left a mark on my soul.
She is not the sweet and nearly innocent women I thought she was. And why that’s bothering me so much is a complete mystery. I am by far no innocent. But I am not hiding anything either.
I play with the box in my pocket that holds the engagement ring I meant to give her today and have to hold back. It’s not the right time. Things are up in the air. Her spirit is weak as is her handle on life right now.
Making my way to the elevator to have the ring placed in a safe deposit box I have on the ground floor of the building, I find myself feeling a bit sad about things.
Nothing is working out as planned. I thought she and I would fall into each other’s arms and everything else would melt away. I was wrong. She has been drugged and neglected and even worse when she was in Hawthorne’s hands.
Liz is working the desk I see as I get off the elevator. “Can I have the key to the room where the safe deposit boxes are. I need to put something in mine?”
“Merry Christmas, Mr. Grimm,” she says with a smile.
“Oh! Yes, I forgot. Merry Christmas, Liz.”
She hands me the key. “Did you buy your lady something valuable for Christmas, sir?”
I nod then say, “I did. But I changed my mind about giving it to her. She’s in a frail state. Now is not the time.”
“Were you going to ask her to marry you, Mr. Grimm?” she asks and I find her curiosity annoying.
I simply walk away instead of biting her head off for being so intrusive. It is Christmas after all.
As I open the safety deposit box, I find the few things I keep in there, staring up at me. My grandparents’ wedding set is in here. My mother gave it to me when her mother passed on a few years back. She told me to keep it and maybe one day hand it down to one of my children.
The thought of having children had been on my mind a little over a year ago. I was going to ask Natasha to marry me on Christmas of last year but she had been taken away and that never happened.
I had so many plans that were halted. She’s so weak. Her body is much too frail to ask her to have children anytime in the next year. All my dreams and hopes have been dashed. And I have a couple of men I can blame for that. But then again, perhaps it’s Natasha’s own karma that got in our way.
Perhaps the fact she broke up a marriage means she’s not to have one. Or maybe she will have one in which someone will come along and break hers up. I would be the victim in that scenario. The role of victim is not one I like to play.
Pushing my thoughts aside, I place the black box inside and close it up, locking it away again. I was so sure this was the right time to ask her but things couldn’t be worse.
As I walk out of the room, I find the doctor coming inside the large stained glass doors. Bits of snow come in with her and she brushes off her coat on the mat.
“Hello Sandra,” I greet her.
She looks up and smiles at me. “Hi Nicholai. How are you?”
I take her hand and lead her to the elevator. “Not great. Glad you’re here.”
She kisses my cheek, a thing I didn’t use to allow her to do when she was my slave over three years ago. She stopped that lifestyle and with that, she began to treat me the way she wanted to.
I kiss her cheek back and run my arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a hug as the elevator doors close. “What’s wrong?” she whispers as I hold her to me.
“So many things, Sandra. So many,” I say as I can’t stop hugging her.
“Nicholai, I talked to your father. He told me about what happened to the young woman. It’s a tragedy but she’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of that.”
I let her out of my tight hug and run my hand over her dark hair. “I can’t explain it all to you. It’s hard for me to take it all in. I love her but what she’s been through may have made huge changes in her. She’s dead set on there being no domination by me and I can’t stop that entirely. It’s how I was raised.”
She nods and seems to understand me. “I’ll talk to her as well as examine her.”
“She may not tell you this, she didn’t tell me. It was her father who told me. He had her locked up for over a year. He had the people who were watching over her, give her sedatives three times a day for that entire time. She’s been off them about four days now.”
Her eyes droop with sadness. “How terrible for her. I think she should also see a psychiatrist.”
“Me too. I’ll get that all set up for her,” I say as I open the door to my apartment.
“About how she’s changed, Nicholai. You should give this thing some time between you two. I know you’re a man who’s never been in love. To say you love her is a huge thing where you’re concerned. Don’t make any hasty decisions, either way. She’ll need time and you will too.”
I nod and take her to the bedroom. “She’s in here.”
Sandra stops as she sees I’ve let Natasha come into my bedroom. “You allow her in your personal bedroom?” she asks with a frown.
“Yes,” I say and watch the pain spread over her face.
“Nicholai, can I ask you a question?”
“You may,” I say and take her chin in my hand to get her to look at me as she was looking down.
“Why her? What did she have that I didn’t?” she asks me as tears pool behind her dark eyes.
“I cannot explain it at all. She had an unbreakable spirit that I admired. But I’m afraid that spirit has been broken and she seems to fight like a dog that’s been chained up and she looks at me like I am trying to chain her up again.”
“If she can’t be who you want anymore, would you ever think of giving me a chance again? In a normal relationship, not like what we had before.” Her eyes search mine and I find myself feeling bad about what I have to tell her.
“Sandra, you are a magnificent woman. Any man would be lucky to have you. I wish I could tell you what you want to hear. My heart beats only for Natasha. If she’s changed into a person I cannot live with or a person who cannot live with me, it will leave me very broken. You wouldn’t want a broken man, now would you?”
She shakes her head. “I see it in your eyes. You love her. You really do. I’ll go take care of her for you. I’ll do all I can to get her to see your love for her is real and you won’t hurt her. You won’t, right?”
“I will never hurt her,” I tell her, then open the door. “Thank you, Sandra.”
Natasha is asleep I see as Sandra goes to her. “I’ll wake her up. Wish me luck, Nicholai.”
I nod and close the door. Leaning my back against it, I wonder if I will ever get to be happy. Will things ever work out right for me?
NATASHA
“You don’t seem to understand me, Doc. I want to get better, I do,” I say.
He looks at me with a knowing smile on his thin lips. “Tasha, it’s been nearly an entire year of me seeing you once a week. And still, you refuse to let me in completely. I cannot help you if you don’t. Should I find another psychiatrist for you?”
“I don’t want to start from ground zero with anyone new. I’ve already lost so much. I can’t stand to be around people. I can’t stand to be alone but I am always alone. Nothing makes me happy. No one makes me happy. I can’t start over, Doc. I just need your help to break through this barrier inside of myself. I’ve pushed everyone away. Help me,” I plead with the man.
“It’s there, within you, Tasha. You say constantly that you forgive your father for what he did to you.”
I stop him. “Because I do.”
“You don’t,” he says, simply. “How could you? He took your world away from you. You had to go into rehab for six months to let your body recuperate from the addiction it had to those sedatives. You lost the man you love because you were drinking heavily to take the place of the sedatives. That is one person’s fault. And it’s not yours. So, blame who is responsible instead of holding it all in and lying to yourself about forgiveness you do not have for the one who caused all of that.”
“It does no good to blame others for your own problems,” I say. “I’ve been told that all of my life.”
“By the man who did this to you, Tasha. Come to grips with it. Your father changed you and your life. You were able to blame James Hawthorne for his part in your emotional upheaval. You accepted the settlement that made you a wealthy woman. You testified against him in court and faced your demon head one where that man is concerned. Now it’s time to face your father and let him know he hurt you and you want an apology. You want retribution for what he did to you. You got it from Hawthorne, now get it from your father.”
“I can’t do that,” I tell him for the hundredth or so time. He wants me to do a thing that’s impossible.
“Until you do, then you will continue to stay stagnant. Not growing, not moving on with life. You’ve managed to conquer the alcohol that controlled you. You’ve managed to live life on your own terms as you refused to allow anyone to control any of your actions. And how’s that working out for you?” he asks with a grin. “How do you like making all of your own decisions? All of your own plans without anyone’s interference? No one tells you what to do at all. How does that feel?”
I’d love nothing more than to tell the man it feels wonderful but I’d be lying and he’d know that. “It’s terrible. Yes, I can make my own plans. You know what they are, day after day? What shows to watch on television. What books to read alone when I get to bed. No one tells me a thing. No one tells me they love me. No one asks for my kisses. No one says a thing to me or tells me to do anything because I walked away.”
The tears start flowing as they always do when I remind myself that I got exactly what I told Nic I wanted. I got a life with no one dominating me. Somewhere along the way, I got it in my head that everything he said or did was some type of domination. It got so bad that when he asked me to change the channel of the show I wasn’t even watching as I was also reading a book, I threw the remote at him and had a screaming fit that he was trying to control me and I left his home that very night.
He watched me pack my things and leave his home. He never said a word. He didn’t tell me to stop. He didn’t tell me to stay. He just watched me leave. He let me leave him.
I suppose he was sick of me. Sick of my drinking. Sick of my constant quick temper when I even remotely thought he was bossing me around.
I blew it and I know it was all me who did that.
“He came in today. He had a session a few hours before yours. I always make sure to keep your appointments far apart so you two don’t run into one another here,” he tells me, making my heart ache.
“How is he?” I ask as I wipe the tears away with the tissue I always have at the ready when I come to see the psychiatrist Nic still pays for me to see.
“He’s okay. He’s sad. His life hasn’t turned out the way he wanted it to. He asks about you every time he comes. He wanted me to relay a message to you. Would you like to hear it or not? It’s up to you,” he asks me.
“No, don’t tell me anything. He’s the past. I’m not looking at the past,” I say as I set my mind. I have to move forward.
“If you never look in your past then you will never learn from it and be able to be the person you can be. I’m not asking you to forget you father by making it known you find him responsible for what happened to you. I am telling you when you admit that to yourself and tell him what you think then you will feel a weight lift off your shoulders. Only then will you be able to deal with life on terms you can live with.”
“So, tell my father and myself he’s the reason my life went to hell in a handbasket?” I nod. “I can try, right?”
“That’s all you can do, is try,” he tells me and puts his pad of paper and pen away. “Session is over for this week. See you next week.”
I nod and give my eyes a final wipe then get up and leave his office. Taking a deep breath, I walk to the elevator and get in it. It’s full of people and I always find myself having trouble breathing in the crowds.
New York has crowds everywhere you go and I should really move. But my work is easier here. I work from home as a consultant. I finished my degree online. I do freelance consulting from home. Occasionally, I do have to meet people and it’s easier to meet in this big city than anywhere else.
With the money from the settlement from James’ family, I don’t have to work at all. But it gives me something to do besides hide in a book or movie to forget about my real life.
As I step out of the elevator, I hear a familiar voice. “I think I left my sunglasses up there. Can you call up and ask him?”
I freeze in place as I know it’s Nic. It’s been months since I’ve set eyes on him. Looking straight down at the floor, I make my way to the door. Each step gets me that much closer to not having the agony fill me that surely will if I see him. Then a chill rips through my body as a hand touches the small of my back. “Natasha, hello.”
My chest fills with sobs that beg to be released. My heart pounds with joy as my body has begged for me to go back to the man it loves. It’s my mind that refuses to believe it. It’s my mind that holds me back.
I can’t speak as he ushers me out the door with him. Through cloudy, tear-filled eyes, I see the shadow of a black car and he has me in the back seat before I know what’s happening.
His arms go around me and I let it all out in the privacy of the car. I cry and moan as my hands run up his arms, over his biceps where they loved to rest when he held his body over mine.
His hands stroke my back as he shushes me. “It’s okay, princess.”
It’s anything but okay and he knows that. He knows it as well as I do. I am a shell of who I was and neither of us can stand who I’ve become. I press my hands to his chest. “Don’t. This just makes things harder, Nic. Let me out of the car.”
“I’m not about to set you out on the sidewalk with tears streaming down your face,” he says as he continues to hold me tight.
I break down again as it’s so damn good to hear him boss me around. Telling me how he’s going to take care of me even when I’m trying to make self-sabotaging choices for myself.
Running my arms around him, I hold him too. “I love you,” I say in a whisper.
“I know you do,” he says then kisses the top of my head. “I love you too.”
Suddenly it becomes clear what I have to do. I have to get better. I have to follow the doctor’s orders and I have to confront my father. This is ridiculous what I’m doing to us both. “Can you take me to see my father? I have something I need to tell him.”
“Is he here, in New York?” he asks as he pushes me back so he can look at me.
I nod and already hate myself for feeling the need to curl back into his wide chest and pull from his body what only it can give me. Peace, hope, and the feeling of absolute safety.
“Right now or later?” he asks.
“I think now is best.” I hand him my phone. “Can you call him and see if he’s available for me?”
He takes it and finds my father’s number. “Hi, Greenwell. This is Nicholai Grimm. I have Natasha with me and she wants to talk to you. I don’t suppose you can make yourself available to her soon, can you?”
I hear my father say on the other end of the line, “I’m at my friend’s place. Let me see about meeting her for lunch.”
With a shake of my head, I say, “I can’t do it in public.”
“How about you come to my place. She’d like to talk with you in private,” Nic tells him.
“Text me the address and I’ll be there shortly,” Dad says. “Why are you calling me from her phone? Why can’t she do it?”
“Because she asked me to do it and I always do anything she asks of me. See you soon,” Nic says then hands me my phone back. “Did you get my message I told the doctor to give you?”
“I told him not to tell me.”
“Why?” he asks as he lifts my chin.
“Because it hurts too much to think about you,” I say then bite my lip.
“Maybe that’s because you love me and want to be with me but that stubborn brain of yours is getting in our way.” He smiles to lessen the blow.
“I know it is. I can see that now. I mean, I knew it was, but now I can really see it. I need to resolve things with my father. I’ve been hiding that inside of me. Hiding the fact he was the one who did this to me. Even James wouldn’t have been able to get to me if I hadn’t been in that weakened condition.”
He nods, letting me know this is my decision and he will leave me to it. It’s not his usual way. He’s often told me I needed to fight with whoever I had an issue with instead of him. I took out too much on Nic. I can see it now, in hindsight.
I just hope talking to my father works the way the doc said it would. I can’t take life this way any longer. Something has to change!
NICHOLAI
Natasha sits in a chair near the Christmas tree by the window. The red and green lights bounce off her golden hair and make my heart hurt that it’s been so long since I’ve last laid my eyes on her sweet face.
My poor Natasha has been in mental hell since she came back to New York. Her stay with me didn’t last long as she became aggravated by everything I did or said. Hell, even my breathing made her angry.
When she packed up one night after me asking her to change the channel on the television, I let her go. I didn’t know what else to do for her. Nothing I was doing was working. She was hiding the fact she was drinking heavily. Not well, mind you. I knew she was drunk only she’d never admit to drinking anything.
Even when I retrieved empty bottles from the bathroom trash, a place she assumed I’d never go looking for anything, she’d deny it was her. She’d blame the staff.
I emptied out the bar so she’d have nothing to drink. But she had bottles delivered to her while I was at work. She had no idea the front desk told me about it.
Thankfully, her moving out had her deciding to seek professional help and she checked herself into rehab for a while. I haven’t seen her since she left me that night, almost a year ago.
I’d told our psychiatrist to give her a message. I wanted her to join me for Christmas. I’d heard from her mother and father that she’d cut them out too. She wanted to be alone, her mother told me.
I had no choice but to respect her wishes as she learned how to throw a hellacious fit when she thought I was trying to control her or boss her around about anything.
But now she’s sitting here, in my living room, waiting for her father to come and talk to her. I’ve known for some time that her problem was with him more so than anyone else. She’d argue that he was only trying to protect her. He was being a father to her and I just didn’t understand.
I do understand, though. I have my own issues with the man. While I may see why he did what he did, I have never agreed with his actions. Natasha, on the other hand, has said, over and over again, that she forgives him and has from the very start.
“Tea, Natasha?” I ask as she looks out the window.
“That would be nice,” she says and gets up to push the curtain to the side. “The view is so gorgeous up here.”
The bar has been restocked since she left but I have some tea brewing at it. I’m not sure she’s supposed to drink anymore. “How is the view in your new place?”
“I don’t know. The windows have dark curtains on them,” she says, making me think she’s been holing herself up with only the television and books as her company.
“The message I wanted to get to you was about coming for Christmas. Father will be busy with his new girlfriend and her kids this year. Mother is off to Spain with her new beau. And I will be utterly alone if you deny me your company, my princess.”
Her hand moving down my arm makes my insides quiver with need. “Why would you still call me your princess, Nic? I’ve been terrible to you.”
Turning to her, I run the back of my hand over her cheek. “You haven’t been you, Natasha. You will always be my princess. I know we’ve never made any marriage vows but I do take you for better or worse.”
“And all I’ve given you is worse,” she says with a sadness to her blue eyes that I hate to see.
“Not true,” I say and take her cup of tea in one hand, her hand in the other and take her to sit on the sofa where I sit next to her. Her collar is askew and I fix it for her then leave a kiss on her cheek. “So, about Christmas?”
“Maybe,” she says. “I’ll have to see if this helps me.”
“What? Talking to your father?” I ask as I pick the tea up and blow over the surface, making the steam swirl.
She nods and takes the cup from me. “Is it ready to drink?”
“I think so,” I tell her. “You might want to test it with your pinky first to be sure it suits you.”
She does and I find myself overjoyed that she didn’t have a shit-fit about me telling her what she might like to do. As a matter of fact, her asking me anything is a major change.
“If you decide to come for the holiday, I’ll come and get you. I’ll have the cook make us up anything you want for dinner. Anything at all. Lobster? Turkey?” I ask as I watch her set the cup back down and smile.
It’s been so long since I’ve seen her smile. “Pot roast would be great.”
“That sounds like a yes to my invitation,” I say then smile back at her.
“Get her to make the pot roast and I’ll think about it,” she says. “Will there be a sleepover that night?”
I stop breathing as she brings that up. It’s been a damn long time since I’ve touched her. A damn long time. Over two years. It’s been over two years since I’ve had sex at all.
Her words have my hormones unsteady. They want to go crazy but they know it might not happen. She’s been back and forth with me in that department.
We’d get so close then I’d do something to make her mad and off she’d go to the other room to sleep. I measure my words as I say, “I am always available to you. You know that.”
She nods and looks away. “It’s been me who has been unavailable to you. Tell me, Nic, have you had anyone else since me?”
“No,” comes my quick answer. “I have no want for anyone else.”
“Not even with me leaving you?” she asks as she continues to look away. “Not even with the pretty Doctor Sandra?”
“No. No one at all. My heart is yours. I assume it always will be,” I tell her and draw her face to mine.
One sweet kiss I leave on her plump lips. She’s regained her healthy weight and she looks incredible again. Our mouths move together, tongues entwine, saying hello and how they’ve missed one another.
Her body melts into mine and then the doorbell rings. Reluctantly, I end the kiss with a few smaller ones to tell her I enjoyed it. “Your father.”
I get up and go to answer the door as I’ve given the staff the day off to do their Christmas errands. “Greenwell,” I say as I open the door.
“Grimm. Where is she?” he says as he takes a step inside.
I turn around and gesture to the sofa but she isn’t there. “Well, she was right there. Let me see if she went to the bathroom. Have a seat.”
Making my way to the bathroom, I hear her crying inside of it. I tap at the door. “May I come in?”
“Leave me alone, Nic. I can’t do it. I can’t face him and tell him what I would have to. I can’t!”
I find the door unlocked and go inside anyway. Taking her by the shoulders, I hold her steady. “I know I’m risking a tongue lashing but I’ll risk it for you. You need to do whatever it is you were planning on doing. I am here for you. If you want me in the room or at your side or if you want me to leave, I will do anything you want. But you need to do this. If it’s making you cry, then you must face it and get on with things. Fear is to be faced or it’s never overcome. Now let me dry your tears and let’s get on with this.”
She gulps back her cries and lets me wipe her tears away. “Why do I let myself do without you?”
“Ask yourself that question. I have no idea. I think I’m fantastic,” I say then smile at her. With a light pat on her ass, I send her out of the confines of the bathroom. “Where do you want me, my princess?”
“At me side, please. I’m becoming more and more aware that I should never have left your side at all. You are my champion, my hero.”
I try hard not to allow myself to have hope she’s about to return to me. I’ve been so crushed by her so many times. But hope is seeping in all on its own.
As we enter the living room, I find her saying, “Dad, we have to talk.”
And here we go.
NATASHA
My knees are shaking as I look at my father and hold tightly to Nic’s hand. “What do you want to talk about, Tasha?” Dad asks me.
“I’ve been holding things back and it’s made me weak and fragile and I’m sick of being that way,” I say as he looks up at me.
He crosses his legs and looks at Nic. “You got anything to drink around here? This looks like a real headache coming my way.”
Nic looks at me then at my father. “In light of her rehabilitation, I think that’s a bad idea, sir.”
“Fine,” Dad says with a huff. “Get on with it, girl.”
The words are right there, wanting to be set free. My mind is shrieking at me not to do it. It will hurt my father when I hurl accusations at him and no one ever wants to hurt their father.
After a long moment of me not saying a word, only looking out the window and thinking I should just go. Nic’s hand gives mine a squeeze. “I think she’d like to have an apology, Greenwell.”
“For?” my father asks as he looks at me.
I hold my breath as anger starts to build inside of me. Nic senses it and takes me by the chin. “You can do this. For yourself, you need to do it. Not for anyone else. Only for you. You can do it. Open your mouth and let the words flow.”
Parting my lips, I look into his dark eyes and wonder how I got so damn lucky. Then I look at my father. “Dad, you are the only one to blame for everything that happened to me. You are the one who got me addicted to drugs. I then had an alcohol problem because of that. I was taken as a man’s slave because I was approached by him and made decisions with a cluttered and muddled mind thanks to those drugs. I’ve yet to hear an apology for that.”
My father looks from me to Nic and back to me. “Did he tell you to do this to me?”
“My mind told me to do this to you. Have you been so wrapped up in your whores to notice I am a shell of my former self?” I ask him, making his face go red.
“You have no idea about my private life, young lady. Watch how you speak to me,” he says then gets up. “I don’t have to endure this. I’m not at fault here. I was only trying to protect you. The monster is the man whose hand you’re holding. He brought you into a world I had to take you away from. And you have stayed out of that world, thanks to me. So, you will not get an apology from me.”
Letting Nic’s hand go, I walk up behind my father who thinks he’s leaving. “Turn around.”
He stops and does as I’ve asked but not in the way I meant him to. “You do not tell me what to do. I tell you what to do.”
“I am done with that. You took me out of all of the world, Dad. You really took me out of it. All I want is to be alone now. I can’t stand anything or anyone. Mostly, I can’t stand myself. And you did that to me.”
“You did some pretty awful things in your life, Tasha. I think you need some time away from the world to figure that out. You can only change once you’ve paid the price for those things you did,” he tells me.
“And what about you?” I ask. “Stringing that woman along, making her live from hotel to hotel while telling her you’re on the verge of leaving Mom. For years, you’ve done that to her. And what about the other women?”
“My personal affairs are none of your concern. Your mother and I handle our business,” he says. “I need to go.”
“You can go. If you want to leave things like this. I’ve told you how I feel. If you don’t want to accept your responsibility, then that’s up to you. And as far as paying for my mistakes, I think I’ve done that. In spades.” I point to the door. “So, there you go. There it is. Walk away from me without uttering a word of remorse for what you did to me. I only wanted to hear you say you were sorry for the atrocities you pulled down on me. But I just found out, I don’t need it at all. Just speaking the words out loud to you are all I ever needed to do.”
“Great for you,” he says as he walks around me. “Glad you took that weight off your back and put it on mine. Hope you feel like a real hero, Tasha.”
“I do,” I say as I watch him go. “I really do. You can pull that weight off with a simple word. You can say it anytime you want and you will be absolved of that burden. Until you do, you will carry it the way I have been for over two years. Consider it my Christmas gift to you. You carry it around for a while. It’s one heavy bitch!”
I step around him and open the door for him so he has to see me as he leaves. He doesn’t bother to look at me as he walks past me. I feel fine. I feel more than fine that he’s mad.
“Good, be mad!” I call out after him. “I’ve been mad for a fucking long time. Your turn, Daddy!”
I close the door and turn to find Nic looking at me with wide eyes. He claps his hands slowly. “Bravo! There’s that little spitfire I fell in love with.”
With a big smile on my face, I walk up to him and grab him by the hand. “You’re coming with me.”
He follows along behind me as I take him out of the living room, toward his bedroom. “Where are you taking me?”
“To Heaven,” I say as I throw open the door and take him inside.
“Finally!” he shouts then picks me up and carries me the rest of the way to the bed. “Now this is what I’m talking about!”
I only pray this powerful feeling stays with me.
NICHOLAI
Two years of waiting made for three days and nights of making up for lost time. I’ve yet to let her leave the confines of the bedroom and bathroom. Making little trips to get us food and drinks from the kitchen have seen me right back in bed and pulling her back into my embrace.
Placing a purple grape to her kiss-swollen lips, I tell her, “We’ll have to get out of bed today. It’s Christmas. Your pot roast is cooking with all the sides and I want us to get dressed up and spend our first real Christmas together. Last years was a bust.”
“It was. So, you wash me and I’ll wash you and then we’ll get dressed. I’m as sore as I’ve ever been but it’s a great feeling,” she says as she rolls on top of me to get out of the bed.
I hold her for a moment. “One more kiss.”
She smiles and kisses the tip of my nose. “Any more than that and you know we’ll be stuck in bed for another hour or so.”
“I do,” I say, then get up and carry her to the shower.
The way her body feels as I move my soapy hands over her has me all types of excited but I tamp it down so I can get to the place I want to be. I’m happy as hell to have her back in my life. But I want that to be permanent.
Before I realize it, my hands are on her round ass and I’m pushing her up against the warm tiles. My body is shaking as I wrap her legs around me. She’s panting with desire and her eyes are full of lust mixed with love.
She groans as I fill her and moves with me as we work our bodies to please the other. “You have made me yours again, my prince,” she whispers in my ear then nips it, playfully.
Kissing my way down her neck, I say, “You’ve made me yours too. But then again, I always have been.”
I rock with her, making her grunt with each hard thrust. The warm air from her mouth hits the skin of my shoulder then her teeth graze over it. “I was a fool, but I’m not anymore.”
“You were never a fool, Natasha,” I say, and ease my movements as I look into her eyes. “You were never a fool. Let me hear you say that.”
“What was I then?” she asks me like there’s no other possible excuse.
“You were hurt. You were battered and bruised. Never apologize for that. It was not your fault. I love you. I want us to move on with life. We don’t have to live in the past.” I kiss her and find her mouth supple.
Her body is gyrating on mine and she’s giving me all she has to give. I give into her demands as we both find our release. Our breathing is loud and I love the way we sound together.
She is my one true love and she always will be.
NATASHA
The Christmas lights are the only light in the living room. The dinner was delicious and we are both stuffed. Lying on our backs, we’re looking up at the tree after opening the presents we gave each other. “I used to do this with my cousins when we were little kids,” I say as we gaze up at the pretty colors as they filter through the real tree.
“It’s very pretty under here,” he says then holds up my hand and looks at the large diamond ring he gave me when he asked me to marry him. “Yep, even pretty under green and red lights.” He kisses it, making me smile. “Thanks for saying yes so quickly and not making me sweat it out.”
“Yeah, well, I made you sweat for over two years. I thought you could use a break.” I say with a laugh.
“I did need one. So, off to Vegas we will go in a couple of weeks and then on to a three-month-long honeymoon,” he says. “And right to the baby-making.”
We tossed my birth control pills in the trash right after I said yes to him. It’s official, we are getting married and starting a family. I did not see this coming for us at all.
I can’t believe he stuck with me through everything I put him through. It did leave me with no doubt that when he says his vows I can take him for his word.
My cell phone starts ringing and I sigh as I roll out from under the tree. Nic comes along too. “I’m going to find another piece of pumpkin pie.”
I laugh as he goes off toward the kitchen and look at my phone to see it’s my father. “Hello.”
“Hey, I just wanted you to know that I heard what you said the other day and I didn’t want this night to end without me saying this to you.”
“What?” I say and have to hold my hand over my mouth so he doesn’t hear me crying already.
“I am sorry, baby girl,” he says, sending me into full-blown meltdown.
I melt into a puddle of tears on the sofa. “Thank you,” I manage to get out.
“You deserve it. I’ll do all I can to make it up to you. I swear it,” he says.
“Just be there for me, Dad. That’s all I ask. Nic and I are getting married.”
“Good,” he says. “That man really does love you.”
“He does and I love him,” I say, and find Nic coming into the room with a small plate of pie.
“What happened to you?” he asks me as he puts the plate down and runs his arms around me.
“Thank you, Dad. Bye and Merry Christmas.” I end the call and put the phone down, then wrap my arms around Nic. “This is the best Christmas ever.”
“He must’ve told you he was sorry, huh?” he asks with a chuckle.
“He did,” I say as I cry like a little baby. “I’m so happy.”
“Yeah, you sound like it,” he says and laughs then picks me up and puts me on his lap. “And you told him our news?”
“I did and he was nice about it. Maybe things will finally start going better. We could use things to go well, for a while anyway. I’m not asking for more than my fair share of happiness.”
Taking the napkin he brought for the pie, he holds it to my nose. “Blow, princess. You’re a mess.”
I blow my nose and laugh as he helps tidy me up. I’ve come to see things in a different light where he’s concerned. He likes to pick out my clothes sometimes but it’s because he likes the way certain things look on me.
Feeling the same way, I pick out his clothes often too. It’s not as bad as I was making it out to be in the beginning. I thought he was thinking of me as his doll. His plaything. But when I started thinking about how good he looks in his jeans and asking him to wear them more often, he pointed that out to me.
He can still be dominatin,g and in the bedroom I love it. But he watches himself about certain things and he’s quick to change the way he says things so he doesn’t offend me or make me feel small.
I think the future with him will be bright. I believe he and I will learn from one another and grow as a couple. A team of two, who will have to worry over children together. A team who will make huge decisions together.
“That’s better,” he says as he puts the used napkin away. “How do you feel?”
“I feel great. You’re going to make an excellent father, you know,” I tell him then kiss his cheek.
“With your help, I might be okay at it,” he says. “I haven’t had the best role model.”
“Neither have I. We can do our research and try to be better parents than those we had, I suppose. History doesn’t have to repeat itself, you know,” I say and wiggle on his lap. “And speaking of kids, are you ready to hit the sack with your brand new fiancée?
He rubs his hands together in front of me. “Oh, yeah. You can wear that negligee I gave you and I’ll bring the whipped cream.”
“More food?” I say with a laugh as he gets up and carries me to the bedroom.
“The whipped cream is for your consumption, baby, not mine.” We laugh all the way to the bedroom then he closes the door behind us.
I think we might just work out after all.
EPILOGUE
NICHOLAI
Natasha is rocking the baby, our fourth son, to sleep as I take the other three out for ice cream. Manhattan proved no easy place to raise a large family, so we moved.
Walking down the paved street to the local shop that has everything anyone could ever need, I find my friend, Nic, riding his bicycle towards our home. His arms wave wildly, making my sons laugh. “Where are you going? I was coming to see you.”
“To get ice cream,” Todd, our oldest says. “You come too!”
Nic hops off the bike, dropping it on the side of the road. “I come too. Yes! How’s your beautiful momma,” he asks Taylor, our next to oldest.
“Busy with Tyran. He’s a fussy baby today,” Taylor tells him.
Todd’s only ten but he thinks he’s twenty or so. “How’s your sister, Nic. Does she miss me?” He laughs as he goads Nic.
“She’s too old for you, Romeo,” he tells him as he messes up his dark, shaggy hair.
The boys all run ahead of me, spending up some of their energy. “Your mother is making something that smells like Heaven for our dinner tonight. She asked if she could invite her family to our home for dinner. Can you believe she asked me that?” I ask him as we walk along behind the kids.
“I cannot,” he says with a laugh. “What was she thinking?”
“I know,” I say and punch him in the arm. “It’s not as if your family doesn’t eat nearly every night at our home. And we’d have it no other way. My wife loves your sisters and your mother.”
“I never asked you, Nicholai. Why did you decide to come back to Greece to live?” he asks me with a grin. “New York has much more to do.”
“That it does. But I kind of fell in love with this little town here. And when I brought Natasha for our honeymoon, she fell in love too. When the kids started to come and we knew we wanted more for them, it was a no-brainer. Move to Greece where everyone is made to feel like family.”
“We’re happy to have your family here too. Your help in making our family’s wine has been invaluable. Momma’s frozen dinners are selling like we never thought they would. So many people have jobs at the factory you built to produce those things. You are well-loved here, Nicholai,” he tells me.
The thing about living here with all of these people, is I know I’m well-loved here. But it never hurts to hear it!
NATASHA
The sounds of people laughing fill the air as Mamma’s family comes to our back yard. It’s where we get together almost every evening and feast on the food she and her daughters have prepared for us all to enjoy while listening to old tales and funny stories.
I never get tired of hearing the things these people come up with. As I make my way out to the garden to join them, I find my husband with a little girl on his knee, playing trot-little-horsy with her.
The baby in my arms is quickly grabbed up by one of Mamma’s many daughters and he’s whisked away by her as she coos at him. There is no shortage of babysitters here. And we are part of that circle as well.
I take the empty seat next to Nic and run my hand over the little girl’s plump cheek. “Hi, Mena. Are you having fun with Uncle Nicholai?”
She nods, sending her wild dark curls every which way. I laugh as I watch the boys running after several little girls, holding fireflies in their hands and chasing them, making them shriek.
“You’ve raised some hellions there, my princess,” he tells me.
“Don’t go blaming me now. I think tormenting girls is in their DNA,” I say with a laugh.
He places Mena on the ground and pats her back, sending her on to play. “Tormenting, huh?” he says with a growl. “In our DNA, huh?”
When he gets up, I start to laugh, nervously. “Nic, don’t you dare!”
With one quick move, I’m tossed over his broad shoulder as he runs away with me into the house. It’s very quiet inside of the huge home. Everyone is outside and I giggle as he takes the stairs two at a time.
“Nic, we can’t take off and leave our guests alone,” I say, as it’s obvious he has plans for me.
“They’re not guests. They’re family. And they won’t miss us if we disappear for an hour or so,” he says as he kicks open our bedroom door.
He tosses me on the bed and begins to pull my clothes off. “Okay, but only an hour, no longer,” I say as I hurry to push his pants down.
“No longer than two hours, I promise,” he says, then rips my panties away and yanks me to the edge of the bed. “Come here woman. I have a craving only you can satisfy.”
His eyes go dark as night as he descends upon me. Taking me to new heights as we can hear children laughing and people talking away as music plays in our backyard. The way it does nearly every night since we moved to this place we both fell in love with and call our home.
It looks like we’ve found our happy ending after all.
The End.