Chapter 1
Mykayla
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. I’m not going to panic. Everything’s going to be okay.
It has to be.
I grip the steering wheel tighter. That’ll give me more control over the car. Right? I’m going to believe that’s true. Because when the car rental guy told me the road up here is dicey, I never thought he meant anything like this.
He said something about a dirt road. No big deal.
This is not a dirt road. It’s full-on, hard-core mud. With deep ruts in it, although I have no idea how they got there. I haven’t seen a single car in more than half an hour. Not since the truck in front of me turned off onto a side road that I couldn’t even see. It was a lot easier to follow his lights and swerve whenever he did. I was so tempted to follow him down the road to wherever he was going and ask if I could stay with him for the night.
Because that would totally work out. That’s how strangers are. Well, maybe they are out here in the middle of nowhere. But that’s not a chance I can take.
So instead, I’m taking my chances on this road. This winding, insanely bumpy road that I can barely see at all because there aren’t any street lights this far out of the city.
I’m sure my knuckles are white under my gloves as I fight to stay on this “road”. I know there are ditches on both sides of it. There’s no way I can even guess at where they are, what with the random piles of snow all around. If they’re as massive as the ones that were visible when I first turned off the main road, I have a very narrow amount of space between my car and their edges.
I could be back in Manhattan right now. Out in a bar on my third glass of wine with my best friends. Or relaxing on my tiny sofa and binging on that new series I’ve been meaning to start. What was it called again? Whatever it is, it’d be better than this.
Even giving my ex a call would be better than this.
Not that I would. I’m recently single and not exactly happy about it. My boyfriend decided he wasn’t ready for a relationship. Pretty funny, since we were already in one. The icing on the cake was that just three weeks after he walked out of my tiny apartment and my life, I found out that he got back with his ex and had already proposed to her.
After three weeks.
At least I’m getting out of town, even if it’s not to a luxury resort or exotic place like I’d hoped.
Curling my fingers around the coffee I picked up on my way out of town, I try to feel its warmth. But my coffee has not only gone cold, the cup’s practically empty. I swallow the dregs anyway. I need all the help I can get to make it up to the cabin without sliding off the road into one of the ditches. Or getting stuck in a snow bank.
I’m here because of work. I love my job. I really, really love my job. That’s why I’m driving upstate alone on a Thursday night. Right? But I sure as hell never expected a truly harrowing drive to be part of the deal when I volunteered to help out with our annual company retreat.
I joined Xojo just after their last event. Everybody was talking about it, and I was so jealous to have missed out. I expected this year’s one to be even more spectacular. Or at the very least, equally fabulous.
“You’re going to love it.” My boss meant what he said to me at the time. Sam’s really big on team players, and I want to climb up the ladder as fast as I can. I’ve dreamed of making it in New York my whole life. I don’t have the glamorous life I want. No penthouse apartment. No flashy car or closet full of designer dresses. Not yet. But it’s out there for me. I can feel it. Everything I’ve ever wanted, just waiting for me if I work hard enough.
And so when Sam put out the call for help with organizing this year’s big staff retreat, I stepped right up. I like planning events regardless. This is way more of a working retreat than a fun one, but still. I’m not in charge of setting the work schedule, so I’ve been working on the fun side of it as much as I can. Everyone’s going to have a blast if I have anything to do with it.
Even in spite of the fact that instead of jetting off to Australia or Jamaica like Xojo’s always done in the past, we’re going to a cabin.
A cabin. In the middle of winter. That is so not what I expected when Sam called a meeting to announce the location they chose.
He was clearly uncomfortable when he started talking. “As you know, we’ve had lots of layoffs this year. Lots of changes. That’s going to affect our annual retreat. Don’t worry, we’re still going to have one. But it’ll be different than our usual. We’ll be going upstate, to my cabin near Redfern.”
My heart sank as he made the announcement. Seriously? I almost spoke out loud. I caught myself just in time.
Still I felt bad for him. Sam’s a great boss, and he was genuinely sad about having to make such a big change. So I have to wait another year to be part of a truly legendary Xojo retreat. Things will pick up by then, I’m sure.
He turned to me. “Mykayla. Best if you can head up as early as possible. Make sure everything’s in place. I know it’s not going to be the exotic trip that everyone wants. So I want to make sure this one is going to go as smoothly as possible. That we’ll all have as much fun as we can.”
So here I am. Driving up to a remote cabin in the pitch black night, on something that really shouldn’t even be called a road.
I flick the windshield wipers on. It’s starting to snow. I do love snow. But there’s a time and a place for it.
And this isn’t it.
I’m seriously considering turning back and trying to find a hotel in the last town I passed through. This drive would be at least a little easier in the daylight.
I’m wondering how I can do a u-turn when I can’t see much of anything, or if it would be better to just throw the car into reverse for the entire way back. A voice breaks into my scattered thoughts.
“Turn here.”
It’s my phone.
I slow almost to a stop. There’s a fence running along the side of the road that I didn’t notice before, stretching for miles in both directions. I squint into the inky blackness.
“Turn where?” I ask it. “Come on. Help me out here.”
“Turn here.”
“Okay, okay.” I’m about to reprogram the maps app to redirect from my current location when something catches my eye. There is a road there. It’s barely visible and dusted with the falling snow, but there it is. Leading right through a gap in the old wooden fence and into the dark unknown.
Carefully I guide the car through the gap. A glance down at the map on my screen shows me I’m close. All I can do is trust that it’s correct. Because it’s even darker than the stretch of road I’ve just left.
It doesn’t take long before everything changes. The road smooths out. There’s even a light up in the distance. Yes. That must be it. I exhale in relief.
I increase my speed, my normal driving confidence coming back. Everything’s good. There’s still no sign of any buildings whatsoever as I go along, but at least I’m not gripped with fear anymore.
Not completely.
I’ve been holding the steering wheel so tightly, my fingers are cramped up. I shake them out and then slam hard on the brakes.
The car skids around in a full circle before it comes to a stop. I’m facing back the way I came. What the hell?
I climb out and step onto icy pavement. I’m in a parking lot, and what made me stop was another fence, appearing suddenly right in front of me. I didn’t even notice this lot until I was in it. But here it is. Flat and empty.
I grab for my phone. The directions mock me. I tap at it, trying to get it to recalculate again. The results are the same. Half a mile to my destination. “It will be on your right.”
“Great. Thanks.” But my phone doesn’t appreciate my sarcasm. The snow’s swirling hard around me now. I can just make out the shape of a building in the distance. That has to be the cabin. There’s a narrow footpath leading the way. No more road.
I have to walk?
Fuck.
The snow’s still picking up. It flies in my face as I tug my suitcase out of the trunk and start to wheel it behind me. The moment I step on the path, I sink into it. It’s mud. Soft, strong mud. Why? Who doesn’t pave a path up to a cabin?
I yank my foot free, nearly losing my balance. Maybe my boots with four inch heels weren’t the best idea. But I never expected this. When my boss said cabin, I figured he meant a ski lodge type of deal. I didn’t have a mud path in mind when I got dressed for work this morning.
By the time I reach the end of the path, I’m covered in melting snow and mud. This is no way to start off a three week retreat.
But here it is. Sam’s cabin. And it’s impressive. Big and looming, but friendly and welcoming at the same time. I dig out the key he gave me and swing the big front door open.
It’s not much warmer in here than it is outside. No matter. I’m the first one here for a reason. To get everything up and running.
Another coffee should fix that. It usually does. My coat’s perfect for a Manhattan winter. I’m never cold. But it’s failed its first upstate test. Even with the short amount of time I was outside walking from the car up here, I’m actually shivering.
Struggling to get my boots off, I have a quick glance around. Then I take a longer look. Wow. This place is amazing. Even better than I imagined it would be. I have to admit that after the crazy drive up here, I was starting to believe this place would turn out to be a tiny, dark log shack or something. Not exactly the kind of place I want to spend three weeks holed up with coworkers that I’ve mostly never met before.
But this place. It’s wonderful.
I could live here. If it was in the city, of course. Setting my boots aside and shrugging off my coat, I take a deep, deep breath. Even the air’s nice here, if a little cold. Surely a place this grand must have a fireplace.
I walk around, switching on every light I can find until I reach the main living room. Oh, yes. It has a fireplace. Does it ever.
But there’s no switch. It’s not electric. I peer in closer. It takes wood. Actual wood. Where on earth am I supposed to find that? I’m not going to be chopping down any trees, that’s for sure. I shoot Sam a text to ask about it. It’s not just about warming up. It’s the finishing touches like having a good fire going that are the reason I’ve come up here early in the first place.
But my text doesn’t go through. No signal. Damn. I didn’t expect that. That alone drives home just how remote this place is. I go back to the front door and make sure I locked it behind me. It’s so quiet here, it’s making me nervous. I miss the constant hum of being in a twenty four hour city. It’s reassuring. Like I’m not alone.
In spite of no signal, everything else here is ultra-modern and cool. Killer sound system. There’s even a movie room, with a massive screen taking up an entire wall and it’s complete with movie-theatre-style seats.
I could so, so live here.
Even I can tell the kitchen’s amazing too. But I don’t take a second look at the gleaming chrome surfaces of the huge appliances. Swinging open the fridge door, I check it out. Yes. It’s full, stocked up with everything anyone could need.
Including wine.
I grab for a bottle of white and find a glass in the huge set of cupboards. It’ll take too long to make coffee anyway. This will warm me up.
After the long drive, I don’t want to sit still. Wine glass in hand, I start to explore the entire place. Every single part of it is gorgeous. And I discovered the electric heat too. Now that I’ve got it turned on, this place is practically perfect.
My phone vibrates with a text. Not from my boss, but hey. There’s a signal at least now. I guess it might be on and off, especially with the weather.
I finish my drink and go back to haul my suitcase into the bedroom I’ve picked out for myself. First choice of room, one of the perks of helping out.
Now I have to try out the amazing claw foot tub in the huge bathroom, too. In spite of cranking the heat up as high as I could, I’m still cold. Somehow the bathroom’s a lot warmer than any other room in this place. I start up the water and head back to my room.
By the time I get back, the tub’s full. I’ve refilled my wine glass and shed my clothes. I even got the stereo system to work with my phone and I’ve got my best relaxing music coming through the speakers.
I sink in and the warm water surrounds me. Yes. It feels like the best thing ever. Every last bit of tension I had from the crazy drive up here instantly melts away out of my body. I’m so glad I packed my favorite coconut mango bubble bath.
I hate to think about him when I’m trying to relax, but I haven’t felt this good since I was with my ex. Not the last few months, sure. Things were bad for awhile before we ended it. But in the beginning. I talked him into taking a bath with me and it led to sex that lasted until sunrise.
If nothing else, Chad was good in bed. I’m sure the women he cheated on me with thought so too.
But forget that. I’m not thinking about him. Not here, not in this gorgeous place. In this perfect bath. He and I were wrong for each other anyway. I’m only going to focus on the positive.
And the first positive thing that comes to mind is Jason Mitchell. He and I work together sometimes and I wish it was more often. We’re becoming friends, although I wish we were a lot more. Of course that’s not possible, since he’s gay.
But a woman can dream.
He’s really hot. My heart beats faster every time he’s near me. And now that I’m here by myself, my imagination’s starting to run free. Usually I try not to think about him this way.
But why not now? No harm done. He’s too hot not to have had a lot of women and men dream about him when they’re alone. And naked. And getting way too buzzed on wine due to not having time to grab any dinner.
I’ve never seen Jase dressed in anything other than suits. I’ve never really gone in for the business-type look on a man, but somehow he makes the suits he wears look pretty damn sexy.
Every. Single. Time.
I can’t help but imagine what he’d look like with his tie pulled loose around his neck. With his always-immaculate hair messy for once. Messy because I’m the one grabbing onto it as he’s on top of me. His jacket missing. His shirt open. Muscles flexing as he moves and his warm skin brushes over mine.
I slide my fingers down my body. I’m covered in bubbles. Thinking about Jase like this isn’t going to help my ridiculous crush on him go away. I have to stop.
Downing the last of my wine, I pull the plug. The air’s warm around me, but I hurry to grab a big towel. I pad barefoot down the carpeted hallway back to my room. It’s still way earlier than I’d normally go to sleep, but I set my towel on a chair and climb into bed anyway. If I could get the fire going, I’d curl up in front of it. A warm bed is the next best thing.
At least the cabin’s warming up now. And since I’m not going to do anything tonight, I’ll have to get up early tomorrow and get to work. I deserve a night off.
There’s a small TV in here. Grabbing the remote, I click through all the options but there’s nothing that catches my eye. I don’t want to read the book I brought along, not now. My thoughts keep drifting back to Jase.
My hand trails down my body again. God, he’s just so damn sexy. His sparkling blue eyes. His lips.
Oh, his lips.
I can picture them easily when I close my eyes. I should have brought a vibrator, but no worries. My hands know what to do.
It’s so easy to call up a fantasy about him. I’ve tried not to, but I couldn’t help but come up with one or two about him after we first met.
Maybe three.
Now they’re all combining together in my mind. He’s already naked, his body gorgeous as he undresses me. He’s touching me, his hands running all over my warm skin. In my mind, Jase knows what he’s doing. Knows a woman’s body and just what to do.
My breathing’s loud now. I’m not holding back like I do even when I’m at home alone. The walls in my building are as thin as paper. There are certain things that I don’t want my neighbors to hear.
But not out here. I’m alone and in the middle of nowhere. Completely free, for one night only. I let myself pant and even moan. Chad didn’t like it when I made sounds during sex. I got used to holding back because of him too.
To hell with that now.
Jase wouldn’t do that. Try to limit me in any way. Not him. Never.
Fingers toying on my clit, I speed up my slow rhythm. My heart’s already pounding. My body’s on fire as I imagine Jase’s hand on my body instead of my own. His touch. His kiss. His cock, hard and ready. Replacing his long fingers. Sliding deep inside of me.
Waves of pleasure crash over me. I catch myself holding back again but somehow I manage to let go. For once I’m as loud as I want to be when I come. I’m thrashing around too, blankets and sheets tangling around me. I push them away as my temperature rises. I’m too hot and I don’t want to be covered up. Not now.
I ride my orgasm out as long as I can, gasping as the tremors shake me.
Then I hear it. A sound that’s not coming from me, and I almost choke on my last cry when I open my eyes.
There’s a man. Leaning in the doorway. Watching me.
I can’t speak. I can’t move. What the fuck? He’s just standing there. His eyes are still on me. He doesn’t look threatening. In fact, he looks turned on. By me. I have to blink to see if I’m imagining it.
I’m not.
The last waves of pleasure are still flowing when I manage to get my limbs working again. Frantically I grab for the covers, pulling them up tightly to my neck.
He’s still staring.
I arch my eyebrow at him. “Who the hell are you?”