Broken and Screwed 2

After Hannah witnessed a few of these moments, she made me promise to text her whenever I would come over. When I did, Hannah was in the hallway, in a lawn chair with a table beside her. Most times, she had a book in her lap and a drink on the table. The location of the lawn chair moved. The first time was outside her (my) door. By the third week, she sat outside the doors of the mean girl leaders. No one won against Hannah when the insults flew.

The other change was at the house.

After our first fight that had almost turned violent, and after she saw how Jesse defended me, Tiffany began to ignore me. It was the most passive aggressive tactic, but it didn’t bother me. I could ignore her as well, made my life easier. After one night, when I went into the kitchen and Tiffany left the table to go upstairs, I took her vacant seat. Kara rolled her eyes and asked, “How are you handling that?”

I shrugged and popped one of Tiffany’s grapes in my mouth. “I don’t really care. I think she thinks this is getting to me, but it’s easier. I don’t want to be her friend so I don’t know what she’s getting out of this.”

Kara grinned. “Tiffany thinks everyone wants to be her friend.”

“Not me.”

“I know. She doesn’t know that.”

Eyeing her, I asked, “Why are you saying this stuff to me? You’re not being loyal to her.”

“I’m loyal to Derek and he likes you. And I still consider you one of my residents. I’ve told Tiffany she’s being dumb. It’s obvious how much Jesse cares about you. You’re not going anywhere. She needs to accept that and move on. Even though she doesn’t see it that way, I’m trying to help her in the long run.”

“Oh.” That made sense to me.

“In her defense, she’s never met a girl in Jesse’s life before. Those two were close last year, as close as I think he’d get to another female as a friend.”

I nodded. Jesse had explained it to me one night, but he made sure to reinforce that he never saw Tiffany as more than a friend. I wasn’t too sure about that. He had slept with her. Twice. But she wasn’t his family. I was.

“What about Chandra? I thought she was friends with you two.”

Kara looked down at the table now. “Cord doesn’t want her here so she’s not allowed to come over.”

“Yeah, but you guys are friends with her.”

She looked up. I caught the sadness there before she masked it. She shrugged, forcing a smile to cover. “It doesn’t matter. We can still be friends with her outside of this house, but she has to respect Cord’s wishes.”

Remembering that first day, I thought there’d been something extra between the two. I said as much to her, but she shrugged again. “If you haven’t noticed, Cord doesn’t like getting close to any girl.”

“Yeah.” I had noticed. I had witnessed it a few times. Marissa had emailed me one time, asking if Cord was mad at her. He had never responded to her emails, phone calls, or text messages. My old friend was getting the snub. She knew it; she just needed to accept it.

“You know, you can have your friends to the house. That’d be okay.”

“My friends?”

“Beth and Hannah.”

“Oh.” I frowned. “Isn’t that weird? I thought Hannah was fighting with Tiffany again?”

“They’re always going to be fighting. They’re sisters, but Jesse said you live here too so you can have your friends over.”

“Yeah, I guess.” But it felt weird. There was an unspoken rule to keep the house from people. I knew Beth and Hannah would be fine, but I didn’t want to get comfortable. When I did, something bad would happen. So I kept being there, but not living there. It would be safer for me in the long run, when that bad thing did finally happen. I loved Jesse, but I was still trying to save myself from other attachments. It’d be hard enough to lose him. And I knew it would happen. Nothing good happened to me, nothing that lasted.

Thanksgiving came and went.

I still lived with Jesse, but our time had dwindled because of basketball practices. It’d been a month into the new season until they had their first home game. Even though Kara mentioned having Hannah and Beth over to the house, I never did. Instead, the three of us began hanging out at a diner off-campus. We were leaving the place when I invited them over. It was my first time ever. Jesse and the guys were gone. They’d be at their game. And Tiffany and Kara had already left to watch the game. At the thought of being alone for the rest of the night, I heard myself inviting them over before I knew I was going to do it.

Hannah shrugged. “Sure. Can I get drunk?”

Beth hit her on the arm before she frowned at me. “Aren’t you going to the game?”

“And sit by myself?”

“Oh, come on. There must be lots of fakeys that will warm up to you. You could have fake friends all you want. Think of the possibilities.” Hannah spread her arms out, laughing at her own joke. “Fake people everywhere!”

“Yeah, I get it.” Beth frowned at her cousin.

“I’m down. Let’s throw a rager.” Hannah caught my look. “Kidding, Alex. Chill.”

“Oh.” Relaxing, but only a little, I didn’t know what I was so tense about as we drove in our separate cars to the house. I led the way, Hannah and Beth behind me. When I pulled into the driveway, a visitor was waiting for me.

She’d been waiting on the stoop.