Broken and Screwed

Though we hadn’t talked much that last night, our time together hadn’t been just for intercourse. Even as a tingle spread throughout me, I recalled the night. We had made love. It had been slow. It had been tender. And when morning came, neither of us had wanted to see that first ray of sunlight. Even when we had, we both ignored it. I had stayed in his bed through my shift at the mall. His phone had gone off, but he ignored it as well. And then during that evening, I finally pulled myself from his bed.

I was the one that had left, but he hadn’t argued with me.

We’d stared at each other as the door closed, and then it had been done.

I took a deep breath as I had gone to my car. All of my body had been numb that evening. The feeling hadn’t left. It was still with me.

The sounds of lockers slamming penetrated it and I lifted my head.

Angie was there with Justin. They both lifted their hands in a wave, but went back to their cuddling. Marissa was at the end of the hallway, dressed in her cheerleading uniform for the football game that night. Eric wasn’t far away as he stood with his friends, most of who were on the football team. He wasn’t dressed in his jersey and it took me a moment to remember that he played basketball. He would’ve been on Jesse’s team.

As I went to my locker, both of my friends separated from their groups and headed towards me. A part of me felt bad. They shouldn’t have to stop their fun to make sure I was okay. And that was something I felt they’d been doing for over a year now.

“Hey!” Angie gave me a bright smile. She had her books in her hand and hugged them to her chest. “What class do you have first?”

“I don’t. It’s my free period.”

“Oh.” Her smile faltered. “I have college biology. I thought you were going to take that with me?”

I shook my head. “I took it last year.”

“You did?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I—uh—school was all I kinda focused on last year, you know.”

“Oh right. I forgot.” She blinked a few times and then nudged Marissa.

“So, hey!” She jumped forward. Her cheerleading skirt swished around her. “So I know it’s stupid that our first day of school is on a Friday, but there’s a party at Eric Nathan’s house tonight. Are you going?”

“Yeah.” Angie giggled. “No seniors from last year are around. They’re all long gone.”

“Yeah!” Marissa whooped. “We rule this school now. Hells yeah.” She bobbed her head. Her ponytail swished up and down and she did a little cheering motion as she did. All in all, I caught the looks from every male in our vicinity.

“Hey, uh,” I spoke up.

Both of their grins slid away and all attention was back on me.

I sighed. Was this how I wanted it? To take away their fun all the time? But I managed a smile and cleared my throat. “So I was wondering about Casey and her friends this year. I know they aren’t too happy with us.”

Marissa snorted. “Oh please. Let me handle her. It will be my pleasure, Alex. You just worry about being you, all perfect and beautiful. We mortals can only hope to be as perfect as you.”

My eyes went wide. Was she kidding? “Are you serious?”

Then she frowned and shrugged as she turned away.

I glanced at Angie. “You feel that way, too?”

Her eyes darted from me to Marissa before she let out a surrendering sigh. Her hands dropped to her sides and she gave me a helpless grin. “What do you want me to say? You’re not doing this to be mean, but you are kinda perfect. I get angry and I lash out. Marissa screws around with guys and does your dirty work.”

My mouth fell open. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”

Marissa rolled her eyes and looked back with a frustrated growl. Her black hair swung back and her cheerleading skirt swished around from her pent-up emotion. “Oh come on, Alex. You don’t say anything wrong. You don’t do anything wrong. You always look gorgeous. I mean, look at you. You’re tall, thin; you’ve got a nice ass and boobs. Ethan was drop dead gorgeous and you’re the female version of him, all dark eyes and full lips. I feel like you wake up and your skin naturally sparkles.”

Angie barked out a laugh. “And here I thought she woke up in the morning and little birds helped do her hair up.”

They shared another look of amusement. “And mice run in her dress while the birds drop it over her. And everything fits perfectly as her horse puts his head through the door’s window and has her hairbrush in his mouth.”

They dissolved into laughter, but I could only stand there in shock. Really? That was how they thought of me? A disgruntled rumble started in my stomach and I felt it rise up at an alarming rate. I was nauseous a second later and felt vomit in my throat. Did they not realize what they had lectured me on a month ago? But maybe they didn’t remember it. Maybe they had forgotten how Jesse only had to snap his finger and I was at his beck and call.

A shiver raced up my spine. He was gone. I wouldn’t see him, I didn’t know when or if I would see him again.

When the bell rang, Marissa and Angie stopped sharing Snow White jokes at my expense and sighed. Angie groaned. “God, here we go. First period, girls.”

Marissa wiped at her eye and sniffed. “Yeah, we can do it. It’s the beginning of our last year.”

I looked at them as if they’d both lost their heads.

They rolled their eyes at my expression. Angie headed out first with a grin, “I’m off to college biology. See you two later.”