Broken and Screwed

Eric’s eyes darkened. His smile softened as he stared down at me. “Starving.”

“Me, too.”

My heart skipped a beat. We stared at each other for a second and I didn’t think either of us breathed. The moment was suspended in time. I didn’t know what it was or what it meant, but it felt right. I felt that everything would be okay right then and I wanted to keep feeling like that.

“Come on.” Eric’s voice dropped to a husky murmur and he led me outside with his hand in mine. As I waited by the door, he went back for our coats. I left my bag of clothes in my locker. I didn’t have the energy to leave and grab it. There was nothing in there that I needed, so I waited for him. Shivers of anticipation came over me. What did this mean?

“Here you go.” But he was back already.

My arms went behind me and he slid my coat over them. He rounded and pulled it the rest of the way and made sure that it was comfortable on me. He tucked all the corners in the right spot before he pulled me close for another hug.

It was delicious.

I closed my eyes and burrowed my head against his shoulder. He brushed back some strands of my hair. The feel of his fingers against my skin gave me a loving feeling. He touched me tenderly, so softly that I could feel the yearning from him. Or maybe that was me. Did I yearn for his touch? I never had before, but as I moved away a step and held his gaze, I was cold.

He chuckled as he took my hand again. “Come on. I thought you said you were hungry.”

“I am.”

“What do you think? Burgers? Tacos?”

“A big fat cheeseburger, please.” I felt giddy in that moment. I was breaking some rule that I didn’t know yet.

“Sounds perfect.” Eric’s smile softened again. He pulled me close and placed his arm around my shoulders as we walked to his truck. The cold air blasted me awake. I was jerked out of the fairytale reverie I’d been in. When he helped me inside and rounded the truck for his door, I paused. What were we doing?

But then he was inside and it wasn’t long before the heat warmed me and dulled my thoughts once again.

Eric was a gentleman as he drove to a fast food place and ordered us both big and juicy cheeseburgers. We shared a large fry between us. When he took me home, I experienced bittersweet emotions. I was content and satiated, but I was empty and starving at the same time. I just wasn’t sure for what or whom. And I didn’t want to think of those questions any longer.

For once, I turned my thoughts off. I basked in the warmth Eric showered on me.

When he parked outside of my home, we could tell the television was on in my living room.

“Did your parents wait up for you?” Eric frowned at me. He narrowed his eyes in concern. “I could’ve brought you back earlier. Are you in trouble?”

I almost snorted at that question. “No. I’m fine. I’m sure it’s either my dad or mom. Sometimes they have trouble sleeping.” I laughed then. “I don’t even think they realized tonight was Homecoming.”

“Are you serious?”

I waved away the concern. “Don’t worry about it. My parents are in their own world right now.” My hand slipped into his. I squeezed once. “I’m sure it’s hard for a parent to lose a child. They’ll snap out of it one of these days.”

Eric frowned, but didn’t respond.

In all honesty, if someone had told me that same thing, I would be at a loss for words. So I shrugged again and forced a happy note in my voice. “Don’t worry. My dad won’t come out here with a stern warning or anything.”

He still frowned. “Are you sure?”

“I am.” I reached forward for a hug, and because I didn’t want him to worry, I pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks, Eric.” And then I hurried out of his truck and inside. My heart was pounding. I wasn’t ready for a kiss on the lips, but I knew he’d been distracted. He had sucked in his breath. His body stiffened and I felt his hand start to curve around my waist before I slipped away.

I sighed and leaned against my door.

I could hear the sports channel in the living room, so I knew my dad was there. As I stopped in the doorway, I saw that he was asleep on the couch with a blanket at his feet.

Pain speared through me, but I pushed it down.

I held the bottom of my dress in one hand so the swishing sound wouldn’t wake him and gently pulled the blanket to cover him. As his chest rose up and down, a frown appeared on my dad’s face.

I didn’t wait around to see if he’d wake up. And I didn’t wait around to see if he was dreaming of Ethan. I did. It made sense if my parents did as well. With my heart heavier than when I’d hurried inside, I tiptoed up to my room. The moonlight streamed through my window, so I didn’t turn on the lights as I slipped out of my dress and changed into pajama shorts and a tank. After I went to the bathroom and washed up for bed, I returned and closed the door behind me again.

And then I turned around.

Jesse was on the edge of my bed. He lifted the corner of his lip. “Fun night?”

My heart stopped.

The moonlight filtered over him. His high cheekbones were illuminated from the light, along with the curve of his lips. As he stood, I could see that he’d gotten leaner, but when he drew closer to me, I knew he was also stronger.

I wet my lips. My legs started to tremble.

Then he was in front of me, within touching distance, and I could only look at his chest. His tee shirt looked soft to the touch and I ached to feel it. I ached for him. Oh god.